Remember What You Told Me

Chapter 1

"I know everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wish I knew what the reason was."

---

It's been 5 years ago when I was grade school back then. Everything is going fine until I felt this unexpected feelings.

I'm deeply, madly inlove with a guy. I thought that it was just a puppy love but days, months, minutes, years passed until I realized I'm deeply inlove with him. Na-fall ako sa kanya na hindi ko na magawang makaahon pa.

I love the feeling. And I don't want to end this anymore. This is my first time to fell inlove with someone, my first love.

Dito ko unang narealized kung paano magmahal, masaktan, at umiyak. Dito ko rin unang natutunan kung paano lumaban, matalo, at sumuko.

I remembered that day, kung kailan ko unang naramdaman ang pagmamahal na 'to. Ito 'yung araw ng christmas party namin noong middle school ako. Hindi ako masaya noong panahon na 'yun. It was my mom first death anniversary.

Nag-away sila noon ni Dad. Umalis si Dad noon sa bahay dahil gusto na niyang makipaghiwalay noon kay Mom. Mayroong ibang pamilya si Dad at pinili niya ito kaysa samin. I love them. Ayokong nag-aaway sila but fate made the worst thing ever.

Hindi pumayag si Mom na makipaghiwalay. She was too hurt. I'm crying that time, begging for my father not to leave but he didn't listen to me. Sinundan siya ni Mom after niya umalis ng bahay na dala lahat ng gamit niya. My Mom was too desperate back then to win back my father. She loves him very much. I tried to be strong pero hindi ko rin nagawa. Lalo na noong nalaman ko ang nangyari.

My mom died in a car accident. Sabi nila, nawalan daw siya ng preno habang nagmamaneho pero hindi ako naniniwala. I refuse their explanations, sinisi ko lahat kay Dad ang nangyari. Kung hindi siya nakipaghiwalay kay Mom hindi ito mangyayari.

I cried and cried. That is the first time that I feel that nobody cares for me. Mas pinili pa rin ni Dad ang iba niyang pamilya kaysa sakin. Kahit alam niyang wala na si mom, he started to forget me and everything that has connection on mom.

Ang sakit lang isipin na nauwi ang lahat sa ganto. I'm alone. I started to be a cold-hearted girl and emotionless. Ang unfair lang eh, masaya si Dad sa pamilya niya habang ako nag-iisa kasama ang mga katulong at security guards sa mansion namin.

I am 9 years old back then when my mom was died and my dad forget about me.

I'm too sad, dull, gloomy and alone. I want to be loved by someone. Naghahanap ako ng pagmamahal at pag-aalaga. I'm was too kid that time pero nagawa kong mabuhay na mag-isa.

Nagpapadala si Dad ng pera sa akin kahit papaano. Pambayad sa mga bills, pampasweldo sa mga katulong, tuition fee, grocery at kung ano-ano. Pero aanhin ko ba ang pera? Kung pagmamahal na hindi naman nababayaran ang hinahanap ko?

Gusto kong mag-sorry kay Dad sa mga nasabi ko sa kanya. Gusto ko siyang yakapin at makita. Gusto kong mabuo uli ang pamilya namin kahit kami lang. Pero ano? Wala ring nangyari. Ayoko namang makisama sa bruha kong madrasta. Mas gugustuhin ko pang tumira mag-isa kaysa dumanas ng mga pasakit.

I'm not a Cinderella. Hindi ako makakapayag na api-apihin ako. I was the one who does that. Dahil sa naghahanap ako ng atensyon, binubully ko ang mga classmate ko. I don't care if I got suspended basta ako lang ang magiging usap-usapan sa lahat ng bagay. I don't care if it positive or negative thoughts basta nasisiyahan ako sa ginagawa ko.

I became a bitch. A cold-hearted and emotionless girl. I love making prank to others para ipahiya sila. But everything changed me when someone make me feel that I'm important. A girl that will be treasured.