The Challenge

"Can't you take a hint?"

Miami at three in the morning feels like another world. It's so quiet, so empty, so peaceful. I, surprisingly, don't miss the sound of cars honking, or people talking, or even music blaring. I used to think that I needed those sounds; that I wouldn't be able to live in a world so quiet. But as I stood on the rooftop of an old abandoned church, looking out at the empty street, seeing nothing but the tops of trees and a few houses in the distance, I started to think silence might not be so bad. Silence might be the best thing for me right then. It was a new type of sound; a new type of music.

I walked over, slowly and steadily, to the edge of the roof. The front of my sneakers peeked over the edge a little bit and I glanced down at the bottom. I saw the courtyard that was still super creepy and the big iron gate that was still super intimidating. I sat down, swinging my legs over the ledge. I closed my eyes and listened to the silence, letting it wrap around me.

I opened my eyes and let it flicker to a spot a few feet away from me. The spot where I last sat with Lilly. I could picture us sitting there, with her tucked gently under my arm and our legs pulled to our chest. Her head is falling on my shoulder and my finger is drawing lazy circles in her skin. From the perspective of a stranger walking by, I'm sure we must've looked happy. They wouldn't have known that only minutes before I was shouting and she was crying. They wouldn't have known the steps we took to get to that point in our relationship. From a stranger's point of view we would've looked happy and in love because in that moment, we were.

What I wouldn't give to be back in that moment again.

I sighed, lying down flat on my back. My eyes fluttered closed and I tried to make myself forget. I wanted to forget all the fighting because it felt like that's all my life was at that moment; fighting and hating. I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy, where I felt completely content with my life.

Actually-scratch that-I can.
I turned my head to look back at the spot again, a fond smile growing on my face.

"The last time I was truly happy," I whispered to the air.

I grinned. It's funny how everything in my life eventually all comes back to that one girl. That one girl with caramel hair and a closet full of floral print clothes. If she were here she would know what to say. She was always the one that made things better. The one thing that I had to look forward to.

I closed my eyes again, images of my parents flashing through my mind. I heard their shouting still ringing in my head. They always fight but tonight, it felt more than just fighting. There was screaming and crying and cursing. There was so much stomping and door slamming that I thought the paintings would begin to fall from the wall. I laid in bed, listening to it all until I couldn't take it anymore.

I had grabbed my shoes and my car keys and climbed down the side of my house. I jumped in my car, preparing to drive to a 24-hour McDonalds or Walmart, or just any place that wasn't home, but I found myself unconsciously driving down to her safe haven. I don't even know how I knew how to get there, considering I had only been there once and the first time I was too busy admiring Lilly's hairstyle that day to focus on any real directions. It was as if the streets were wired in my brain and before I knew it, my car purred to a stop in front of the building.

The images and sounds of my parent's fighting filled my brain again. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as if it would block out the memories that were already scorned into my brain. I groaned, fisting a hand in my hair.

My eyes fluttered open, though it did not stop the ringing off their voices still filling the air around me. I don't remember what they fought about, but knowing them, it was probably something trivial like forgetting to take out the trash or not doing the dishes. It seemed as if, lately, the smallest things in the house felt like World War I.