Quote in the Quiet (Sabriel)

13 - Silence Is A Problem

Gabriel couldn't help it. He couldn't help that constant feeling of annoyance at himself, or the feeling that Sam deserved better.

Sam deserved someone that he could communicate with, not just through typing things out or fandom quotes, as great as that was. Communication is key in relationships, yet Sam and Gabe didn't really have it.

Gabe was lying on his couch in his apartment, staring up at the ceiling. He sighed.

He was probably overthinking this. If Sam wanted anyone else he would say something, or leave Gabe. Which he hadn't done either of. But maybe Sam didn't care what he deserved...

Gabe should do something. He should try to learn sign language. Except that he literally couldn't, he'd tried and he just didn't have the mental capacity to do it.

It wasn't so much the fact that Sam couldn't communicate with speech. It was the fact that there was a way he could talk to people, but Gabe couldn't understand it. But other people could. Better people. Who Sam deserved more than the short idiot who couldn't even learn sign language.

"Okay," Charlie said. "I can hear your brain working from across town. What's up?"

"When the hell did you get here?" Gabe asked, sitting up.

"I heard you thinking," Charlie said. "So came over."

"Riight," Gabe muttered. "It's nothing."

"The hell it's nothing," Charlie snapped. "This entire time you've been with Sam you're getting gradually sadder and disturbed, so what the hell is wrong? You're happy aren't you?"

"Of course I am," Gabe said. "It's just...he deserves better."

"People always say that," Charlie said. "Like that is the most cliché relationship thing I've heard. So what if that's what you think he deserves? You don't see him complaining do you?"

"You don't get it," Gabe said, exasperated. "He doesn't mind but eventually he's going to get sick of not being able to talk properly to me. And then what happens?"

"Then you figure out some way to get through it," Charlie said. "You always do."

"How do we get through that?" Gabe asked. "How do we get through that without everything just falling apart and hurting both of us..."

"Then what do you think you should do?" Charlie asked, slightly annoyed.

"I could...I could end it now...it'll stop Sammy from being hurt and he'll move on from me and find someone better."

"Gabe did it ever occur to you that Sam might start talking to you?" Charlie asked.

Gabe was silent for a moment. "No. He shouldn't have to. He should never have to feel pressured into talking to me."

"And that right there is why you should stay together," Charlie muttered. "Look just..." She sighed. "You've already made up your mind, haven't you?"

Gabe winced but nodded.

"Don't do it. Please. For you sake and Sam's. This won't end well Gabe."

"You don't know that," Gabe muttered. "It's for the best."

"No, it isn't," Charlie said. "It really isn't."

"You just want your damn ship together," Gabe snapped. "You don't care if it's for good or bad. Stop thinking like a fangirl for a minute and realize that this isn't going to work."

Charlie made an exasperated sound. "I'm not thinking like a fangirl, I'm thinking like your friend."

"Sure you are," Gabe muttered.