Ride or Die {Book 1} ✔️

Chapter 27: What Hope Did I Have?

The blood slowly traveled on the ground and I watched it, unable to take my eyes off of Evan. Seconds pass and he still wouldn't move. I began to choke on tears that filled my eyes so heavy that it could be considered an ocean. Just sitting there looking at him, it was as if I had lost all the pieces of my heart. Memories flared through my head like the speed of lighting. Him smiling, his eyes gleaming with amusement, and him playing guitar, singing to the music.

All that had included me. But now it’s missing him. I screamed my head off in heart agony. I didn't care anymore, I didn't care what Carl would do to me, and I didn't care about anything other than Evan. He took up every fiber of my being, every part of my soul, and he was ripped away. My heart banged with overwhelming pain and I felt myself losing consciousness. No, Lord, please don't do this to me. Don't take him away too. 

He was the only part of my life that seemed to be making it better, bit by small bit. What was I supposed to now? My bottom lip trembling as my body rocked with internal pain. Carl still gripped my arm and it took me another second to realize that my leg had gone completely out, my knee slammed against the ground. Carl forcefully pulled me to my feet and the pain coming from my leg slapped me back into reality, pulling me away from my thoughts and the darkness in my mind and back into my body.

"I want you to obey me, whore. You aren't anything but my property." Carl's voice hissed in my ears, but I couldn't actually pay attention, I couldn't take my eyes off of the boy had come to possibly have a crush on. Because I couldn't love him, I can't love him, right? He was my crush, not my lover. I bit on my bottom lip as Carl continued to talk. "You do anything stupid and you'll end up like that boy right there."

Jordan had dropped the gun, the sound of it banging to the ground and her eyes were wide with fear and sadness. It and left the same reaction on her that it had left me when I first used a gun. Her hands were visibly shaking, her eyes watering around the edges. I stared at the dropped gun, if I could get, if I had enough guts to kill Carl, all this could end.

But I knew I wouldn't be able to, even if the opportunity gave itself to me. I was nothing but a pussy, I didn't have balls to kill anyone and I wouldn't start doing it anytime soon. 

"See if the boy's dead, Jordan." Carl said. "I'll hate to lose my best working man in the crew."

As Jordan moved towards Evan, seemingly unwillingly, anger so hot my skin was on fire boiled inside of my stomach and a sense of protectiveness came over me. "Don't you touch him! Don't you lay on of those bloody fingers on him or I swear to god, I will fucking kill you!"

My voice boomed off the walls and echoed back, making my hammering head bang even louder. Jordan stared at and then looked at the gun on the ground. She seemed to understand that right now, in the state I was, I might actually pull the trigger. With the anger, the sadness, and the grief inside of me, I think my finger would clamp down and I wouldn't be able to stop until I was able to dance on their graves. If they did one more thing to Evan, just one more, I'll fucking hurt all of them.

Carl's grip on my arm disappeared and he shoved me forward. I looked over my shoulder, glaring at him through the hot tears still on my face. He smiled at me and it only helped to boil more of my anger even harder.

"You go see if that boy is dead."

I scurried away before he could change his mind, my heart beating loudly in my ears. I dropped down next to him, not caring that my legs were getting soaked with his blood. His eyes were closed but his face looked strained. Adrenaline and anxiousness coursed through my veins and with a strength I didn't know I had, I flipped Evan over. I stared at his left side, it was scratched but there was no bullet inside. Where had it gone?