sad writing for sad days.

here it goes

i hate this. im so
confused with
everything, like im
not sure what to
believe bc ive been lied
to before about
stuff like this, but
then i know i can trust
eisley, bc shes telling
me all kinds of stuff,
and everything seems
to good to be true, and
maybe she read to far in
and is trying to make me
feel better bc im like this
i dont want to be like this
with you.
bc this is just drama and
i know you hate drama, and
im just idk
bc i im so confused right now
bc i dont know what the right
thing to do is, and i dont
want this to turn in what happened
between gwilan and i just
can handle that
i physically and mentally cant.
like i cant
bc that ruined me so
much that i needed a therapist
and i feel like if i lose you for good
then it will be worse
bc with everything is different.
with gwilan it was idk what
not love.
but this right here is me really loving
you and this feeling is sickening.
like idk. eisley tells me all of
these wonderful things
that make me feel really
confident that you still like
me, but then its too good to be true.
and i just dont know.
bc youre so great. and she says
that you were smiling at me
and you were sneaking
glances and me and looking at
me and everything and i want
to fully believe her but
i cant. i dont know how
bc its hard to believe it.
and i really freaking hope that
its true and im not just idk
i just really love you and miss
you so much.
like im so stupid
and you probably wont
get this, but idk.
im sorry.
im sorry for all of the drama.
i know you dont like that.
im sorry for everything.
truly sorry for all
of this. i still
have feelings for you,
and if we were to ever
get back together i will
promise, and i will not break it,
i will stay, and i wont leave until
you get tired of me.
that is a promise.
okay? im so sorry.
im done now. i promise what
i said.