A Twist Of Fate [Lashton]

chapter 27

(Ashton's p.o.v)

I found him on the floor of our bathroom; skin as pale as a ghost, eyes closed, he looked peaceful as if he was just asleep until I noticed the blood dripping from deep slashes on his wrists and the growing puddle of liquid surrounding his unbreathing body.

I thought he was better, he hadn't hurt himself in months but I guess not.

I called the emergency services even though I knew it would be too late by the time they get here.

I kissed his forehead one last time and sat by his side waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

As soon as the paramedics saw Luke's body they pulled me away from him and began delivering CPR. His body bounced with every thrust that jabbed into his chest and I grew jealous, even though I shouldn't have, when the paramedic gave him mouth to mouth.

(Luke's p.o.v)

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP

My ears are filled with a loud beeping noise; it reminds me of my alarm clock. I try to move my arm to turn it off but all I manage to do is twitch my fingers and I am rewarded with a sharp stabbing pain in my chest. A chill ran down my spine as I notice someone has replaced my cosy, fleece, hoodie sweatshirt and flannel pyjama pants with only a thin, blue hospital gown. I felt the bitter air against my bare feet. The ceiling was composed of white, holey, rectangles with random stains of a faded brown. I began counting the rectangles from the front of the room to the back. Seven. Then I counted them from the very left of the room to the right. Nine.

What has happened?, where am I?

I SHOULD BE DEAD

The last thing I can remember is writing a letter for Ashton.

ASHTON!

I need to find him! I need to apologise for all the pain I caused him.

My nose is abused by a scent that reminds me of the dentist, I open my eyes and realise I am in the hospital.

I'm surrounded by tubes and wires and can feel a large bandage wrapped around my ribs.

I lift my head trying to see more of the room I am in but I only manage to lift my head a few centimetres before I drop back on the pillow with a wince. I hear footsteps approaching me immediately and soon Ashton's face is floating above me; my eyes flood with tears as I see his cheeks are bright red and stained with tears. I try to speak but all that comes out is a choking sound and I am immediately launched into a coughing fit as my lungs and ribs implode. Tears fall from both mine and Ashton's eyes as he plants a delicate kiss on my forehead not on the lips for fear of forcing me into an explosive coughing fit once again.

A doctor walks into the room as Ashton strokes my forehead.

A fifteen minute speech from him tells me that I have been in a coma for a week; had multiple blood transfusions and have several broken ribs from when the paramedics resuscitated me.

Three days later

They say I am lucky to be alive but I don't feel lucky, I feel like I am a failure. I only wanted one thing... to be dead, and I failed.

They let me out of the hospital after a day, I am under constant supervision they won't let me out of their sight because I am apparently a 'high risk patient' now.

I think Ashton hates me, he acts like he still loves me and he helps me with everything. But I have walked past our bedroom and heard him on the phone crying.

I hate to have done this to him, everything would be much better if I had just died.

My ribs don't hurt as much and my cuts have scabbed over but my arms are still covered in bandages because the doctors think I'm going to cut again *annoyed eye roll*. I'm not going to do it again; I want to get better. I want to be there for Ashton again. It's not fair for me to put all of this pressure on Ashton or he will become me and no one should ever have to feel like me, never have to feel like you are worth nothing, and never have to feel like everything is your fault.