Fire and Desire

5

March 6th,1980

"Well, maybe if you weren't gone all the time I wouldn't have to hang out with him!" I replied furiously. My throat was burning as a result of our screaming match. As usual, he seemed to be unfazed by my tone of voice which frustrated me even more, because he refused to acknowledge how I felt at the moment.

"So, this is my fault?" He chuckled lowly while buttoning his shirt and I could only throw my hands up to the heavens in defeat.

"Rick, that's not what I'm trying to say and you know it!"

"Well, can you hurry up and say what you need to, I got somewhere to be..." He responds while continuing to get dressed. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. I didn't want to win an argument, I wanted to feel like I was being understood. Receive the same compassion that I give to him.

"You know what? Forget it, not like you care anyway." I sighed whilst walking toward the restroom, the air in the room was suddenly suffocating.

I locked myself in the bathroom as I waited for the familiar sound of the door slamming behind him, and sure enough it came sooner than expected. And I finally let the tears flow from my eyes, they were almost never ending as they drenched my cheeks.

We were once so close and now it feels like we're strangers. I hate to be the one to say it but maybe we just weren't meant for each other, but at the same time we kind of are. I've always brought out the best of in him and sometimes he brings out the worst in me.

It hurts to feel this way because now even I'm confused on how to feel about us, like I want him in my life but if we aren't together would he want anything to do with me? I love him and there's no doubting that but is my love enough to keep us together?

~*~

I was submerged into a tub of vanilla scented lukewarm water that had bubbles floating on top, I had only been in here for thirty minutes but it felt like an eternity. Several tears were shed as I thought of where we could've went wrong and I end up with nothing, not realizing that having no error is the worst thing to occur in a seemingly broken relationship.

At this time, I really start to reflect on what Joe told me a few days ago. And I couldn't help but apply it to the argument I had earlier, and Joe really did have a point. Rick goes out, doesn't even bother to tell me, even when we're around each other he barely even speaks to me yet during our arguments I bite my tongue to spare his feelings.

"God, I hate it when he's right." I huffed in annoyance before my pruned fingers pulled the plug to allow the water to drain. I quickly dried off before snapping on my lace bra and sliding on my matching panties. Unfortunately, I wore all my comfortable undergarments so the pretty yet uncomfortable ones will have to suffice.

When I exit the bathroom I am somewhat shocked to see Prince lounging on the bed picking at the bowl of fruit I ordered earlier, his hazel eyes focused heavily on the television screen like he was oblivious to the fact that I had exited the bathroom.

"Can you go a day without bothering me?" I asked playfully, his head turned to face me after he struggled to tear his gaze away from the TV. He smiled at me briefly. I grabbed the bowl of fruit from his hands as I crawled to the top of the bed to rest my back against the headboard. I grabbed a handful of fruit as he watched me carefully before focusing his gaze back on whatever he was watching.