To the guy who made me question my worth
I could only remember the times I actually wanted to ask you, "What's wrong with me?" Was there something I lack that others have? Or do I have something you hate that other shouldn't possess?
I knew I couldn't find another you, not in this lifetime— I'm sure about that so that's why I was hesitant of letting you go yet... Were you even holding on?
A lot of people always commented that I was worth more than what I actually believe I am. I wish to believe in that but they couldn't make me feel the way you did—making me feel like crap.
I would message you countless times asking you if you're okay or if everything's fine but I couldn't even get a reply back. I learned to wait because of you. Waiting for you to finally answer the questions I'm dying to ask and maybe... just maybe. You returning the love I gave you way back.
Because of you, I learned the meaning of "stay". For me, I now define it as not leaving despite all the negative shits you're experiencing. But I also know the words "realize" and "forever". I should have realized ages ago that even though I decided to stay, we wouldn't last forever.
Thank you for making me feel worthless. That way, I was able to finally learn that it wasn't I who wasn't worthy, It was you. For I now know that you aren't worthy of receiving everything I'm willing to sacrifice just for your sake. In the end, It wasn't my loss but yours.
Haddly Park
07/05/16
10:17 PM
