To the girl who broke my best friend's heart.
I would remember him saying how much he loves you and how much he wanted to fight for you—to fight with you through all the bullshits life has to offer. He would call at 12 AM asking me what went wrong. "Why did she leave me?" As much as I wanted to answer his questions, I couldn't—I didn't know the reason why.
He was prepared to sacrifice everything, even our friendship just to have you. It saddened me to know that but I have no choice but to accept how things could have ended. I know he just stayed because he needed someone to listen—someone like me who would stay despite seeing the parts of him you thought you didn't need.
He thought it would end well, he thought it was you.
You were everything he knew he wanted but I was everything he didn't know he needed. I was the one who aided him while bleeds while all you did was watch. Week after week, he still believes in miracles. That in the end, it will be you and him. Nothing could separate him from you, no one can convince him to forget you. That's how much he loves you—yet you don't realize that.
He failed to realize one important thing as well. That is, I was the person who was willing to give all he wanted from you.
The love he craves for, the attention he wants, and the efforts he deserves. I know that we couldn't be more than what we are—but I am the same, I believe in the miracle that he would forget that and choose me instead. I would shower him with affection—probably more than what he can offer. I won't take an hour to reply back to his messages, I will hug him when he's feeling down, I'll be his shoulder to cry on, I'll be his friend when he's lonely, I'll be the person he won't ever leave because I know that I won't.
His worth fighting for, you just didn't realize that. Maybe because all you ever wanted from him was the love and attention—the feeling of being wanted and not actually him.
But I don't.
I like him, I want him, I need him as him and not just because he loves whole heartedly because I accept what he truly is and what he can offer.
I like the way he pushes his hair back, I like the way he gets flustered whenever he gets teased, I like the way he laughs—odd yet happy, I like the way he focuses on things, I like the way he looks back at me, I like the way he gets worried every time I'm all alone, I like the color of his eyes, I like the way he draws—knowing his dominant hand is the left one, I like seeing him play the guitar, I like his voice when he sings, I like it when he tells me what I did wrong in a cute—sad voice, I like his look when he wears glasses, I like the way he gets mad whenever someone bullies me, I like that he's so protective of me, I like it when he's jealous over someone else, I like it that he only wants my attention to be on him— I like every thing he does and I like him too, very much.
To the girl who broke my best friend's heart, If you weren't able to return his feelings, then I would—if he wanted to. But in the end, He loves you and I'm not you, I'm someone else—I'm his best friend and I can't go far beyond that.
Park Haddly
07/05/16
10:08 PM
