Within Dreams [A Legolas love story]

Ink Stains

"I am not sure how much sleep I will be getting," I said ruefully, turning in the entrance of the cave to look at him. "It is yet to be seen if I will ever truly sleep in this fell place."

"At least rest," he said gently, "I promise you, nobody will come here without my consent."

He handed me a rolled up cloth which I assumed was a blanket.

"There should be enough there to keep you warm," he said gently.

"Thank you," I said, lowering my eyes as I took the bundle from him.

He inclined his head briefly and stepped backwards.

"Legolas," I said hesitatingly, "If I do not find it..."

"Do not utter those words," he said roughly, turning to me. "You know I loathe this more than anything."

"I know, and I will find it," I said. "But if I do not, you must find out what must be done to end this evil."

"I will," he said softly.

Changing the subject, I asked, "How did you come across Falcon?"

"He had shadowed us for the last day. I knew there was something behind us, but couldn't tell what. In a land where all manner of things lurk, it is not unusual to feel as if you are watched. At the very least, you were not there to witness it."

"Faewyn said you were furious," I remarked.

He briefly stepped into the cave where I was leaning against the wall.

"Of course I was furious," he said. His voice was raw as it echoed in the close chamber. "What he did to you... I had to see you limp in the snow, with dried blood covering your skin. I had to watch Maldor try and heal you as you cried out in pain. But most of all, I had to wait, dreading when I would find out what happened to you, the night you vanished. I had to try and live with the fact that by leaving the camp in that hour, I could have ended your life. The waiting was torture, Gianna. Worse than knowing if you were dead or alive, even, because if I had known, I could have decided whether to keep my hope or to destroy it. You can't imagine."

I looked at him in anguish. "Legolas, how can I mean so much to you?"

"I do not know," he said heavily. "I met you when you were nothing more than a confused little girl, wondering why she was here. But now you are a woman in mortal years, so strong and beautiful I cannot begin to see anything else."

I wanted to reply but my voice failed to emerge, rendering me speechless and lost in the mere presence of the elf before me.

He crouched in front of me, leaning so close I could smell the light scent of honeysuckle. Right before our foreheads touched, he pulled away, whispering "Losto vae (Sleep well), Gianna."

I watched him stand up and resume his post at the front of the cave, his steps as light as the dawn.

I was in a haze after that, his words repeating over and over again in my mind. I saw the tenderness in his eyes as he spoke to me, but the bitter pain that returned when he turned away did not escape me, either.

With a light shudder, I turned over and rested my cheek against the cold wall of the cave, pulling the blanket close.

How could I ever say goodbye to him?

At that moment, all did seem lost. I would walk into the arms of fear and evil and nothing would be accomplished.

I sank into a stupor of weary acceptance with the one consolation that me last goodbye would be to Legolas.