Schizo Styles » 1d

Prologue: Happiness

Everything happened quickly. The door to my room flew open and someone flung themselves at me. The noose around my neck was gone and I was off of the chair and on the floor, the person laying on top of me. I recognized the scent. It was Theo.

"Are you fucking crazy, Sydney?" he yelled in my face, his blue eyes containing tears that were about to spill over. "I hit 80 trying to get here before you did anything and I find you about to step off a fucking chair so you can hang yourself? What, did Harry make you do this too? Sydney, you need to listen to me! Don't! Don't do that ever again, do you hear me? Jesus Christ, Sydney."

He pulled me up and hugged me to his chest, burying his face in my hair. At first, I didn't hug him back. And then the tears his me. Realization. Then I cried and put my face in his shoulder and gripped his arms and just stood there like that for a solid five minutes.

"Who knows I'm here?" I asked into his body.

"No one," he replied. "I didn't have time to tell anyone. If I did, you'd already be d-"

"Don't say it," I said, trying to talk passed the lump in my throat. "Please don't say it."

"Why?" he whispered.

"Harry said he'd make me happier. I know what death feels like and it lifted a weight off of me, Theo. I wanted death. But I was crazy to think I wanted that over you. I didn't want to leave you."

"Then don't," he replied easily. "I promise you, Sydney, I'll do everything I can to make it better."

"You can't get rid of the things and voices in my head."

"But I can help you try to tune them out," he said. "I'll help you. Just don't leave me."

"I won't." I promised. And I meant it.

~*~

Three years had passed since Sydney's attempted suicide. Three years had also passed since her little brother, Edward Benjamin Styles was born. And three years had passed since the beginning of a better life for her.

After Theo found her almost dangling dead in her room, he helped her tell her mother and her uncles about what was going on. She explained that Harry was a recurring thing and he pushed her to do most of the terrible things she'd been doing lately. But she told them why he did it. Because he wanted to be with her since he never got to. And she did in fact forgive him.

She also explained her feelings towards Percy to her mom. He never paid much attention to her and hardly ever acknowledged the fact she was ever there. He wasn't doing any good in her opinion, and made Sydney feel worse about herself. Needless to say, their relationship didn't last very long. A week after Edward was born, they split up. Percy said he didn't even want a kid who had anything to do with her old husband since she "couldn't let go", and that was the last of him. The only contact they ever have with him is child support.

Because of Percy's absence, it was harder taking care of a baby, so Louis offered to step in. And a few months later, one thing led to another and they were suddenly a thing. A year later, they were engaged. Six months after that, they were married and Louis became Sydney and Edward's new step-dad. And a better one than Percy. She imagined he'd be about as good as Harry if he was alive.

Sydney still talked to Harry all the time. He had become a lot nicer since Sydney came up with the plan that he just stick around while she was alive. She promised to meet up with him after she died, and he was okay with that. Harry could also talk to Marissa and his old bandmates through Sydney, which he enjoyed. The way Sydney described it, Harry felt as if he never left.

Sydney also later realized that the things she saw and heard that had to do with her mom not caring were in her head. The night she left Niall's, Marissa was in the kitchen too. Marissa tried to be involved in her daughter's life and wanted her to be happy just like any good parent.

As for Theo and her, they did end up in a relationship. The day after that happened, he never left her side. Not while she recovered in therapy, or while she studied at home. Theo made sure she never felt alone or ignored. And their relationship was fantastic for three years.

"You remember those three years, right, Syd?" Theo asked one afternoon, smiling as he ran his fingers through the grass Ihe sat on. "Those were the best three years of my life. You know, you were actually my first time. I think I told you that, though. I told you everything, actually. I'm rambling aren't I?"

Sydney didn't say anything, so he laid back against the cool granite and put his arms behind his head as he stretched his legs out. "You know, Ed's getting really tall. And where in the hell did he get that orange hair from? I mean, I know your mom is a ginger, but it's not that goddamned bright. Looks more like Ed Sheeran if you ask me."

Of course, she still stayed silent. He grabbed the roses from his side and put them in front of the granite he was leaning against. 

Harry Edward Styles

February 1, 1994 - March 22, 2015

Sydney Meredith Styles

October 31, 2013 - September 20, 2033

Only a month before her twenty-first birthday, Sydney set herself on fire. No, not on purpose. Hal and Tuesday forced her into a closet that "they" locked, although it was actually Sydney who did. They pressed a lit lighter into her hand and brought it to herself. Her clothes, her arms, her hair, her face. Anywhere. No one could get the door open in time. She was already dead.

Although she didn't die the way she should've - of old age with a happy family around her - she got to witness a better life. And everyone liked to think she achieved the happiness she wanted, despite having to live with an occupied brain. She loved her little brother and her new family and her new step-dad and even her cousins started being nicer to her. Will would sit and watch TV with her and Shaunie would invite her to the mall with her friends. Sydney did feel happy in her life and she didn't feel alone anymore, and that's all she ever wanted.