If Only {A Septiplier Fanfic}

{thirteen}

{WARNING: Self harm, mentions of physical abuse, and other things that may be triggering}

Also DO NOT play the music yet!

[Sean's P.O.V]
Flashbacks.

Tons of them.

[Flashback Start]
I'm laying on the bed. Helpless. Naked. I still feel the pain. Physically and mentally. I knew that I would never forget it. I carefully move my head to look over to my right. That bitch. Felix is sleeping peacefully right next to me. He took all of the blankets so that I was in the cold. The look on his face was one that I surely would also never forget. He doesn't even care that he just raped me and left me in the cold. I shiver and curl up into a ball. I'm exhausted. I let a tear slip down my face as I slowly drift into sleep.
[Flashback End]

I opened my eyes to see Mark sitting on top of me and shaking me awake. "Sean! Wake up!" He noticed that my eyes were open and pulled me into a hug. I felt something wet on my shoulder. Mark was crying. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him too.

After a good amount of time, Mark pulled away and sat up. He smiled at me. I smiled back. "So what exactly is going on?" I asked.

He sighed as said "You screamed in the middle of the night and it just happened to happen while I was having a nightmare. You were crying," Mark wiped away a tear on my face that I didn't even know was there, "So I tried to wake you up from your dream. I crawled on top of you and tried to shake you awake. You weren't waking up. Just crying, squirming around, and yelling the word 'no.' I was scared that you weren't going to wake up and let some tears fall down my face. Finally you woke up."

I looked over to my alarm clock to see that the time was 3:27. I look back up at Mark and yawn. "Let's go back to sleep now."

Mark nodded but before he got off me he said, "Promise that you'll be ok?" I let out a soft giggle and look Mark in his eyes. "I promise." Mark smiles at me and gets off, laying back underneath the covers. "Good." He lazily lets one of his arms resting on my waist. I smile and turn around so that I'm facing him. I look up at his soft chocolate eyes. I snuggle in closer to him and let him pull me in a little bit more too.

I lay my head against Mark's chest and listen to his calming heartbeat as I gently let myself fall asleep. Little did I know that I would have more flashbacks and nightmares once I fell asleep.

{Time skip to morning}
{Play the music now}

[Mark's P.O.V]
I slowly let myself gain consciousness as I lazily open my eyes. I first notice that Sean isn't in bed right now. I immediately feel a wave of complete fear wash over me for some reason.

Something doesn't feel right.

I decide to let the feeling slip away and I climb out of bed. I stretch and yawn. I glance down at the alarm clock to check the time. 9:56. But there's something extremely unsettling about the objects on this table with the clock. Because it's only the clock and a little slip of paper.

I cautiously reach for the paper. Right as I come in contact with it, a bolt of pain and worry shoots through my spine making me jump back slightly. My curiosity got the best of me and I quickly picked up the paper and unfolded the one crease.

There's only two words on this paper. Two words that put thoughts in my head that I didn't want in there.

"I'm sorry."
-Sean <3

I immediately get up and put a shirt and pants on. I rush to the bathroom to see no one in there. But I do see a puddle of blood on the counter and other drips of blood on the floor. I quickly check the cabinet to see the pills with none missing. I sigh in relief but that is short lived for that can only can lead to one thing.

I run over to the door and put my shoes on. The door was unlocked. I always lock it when I go to bed. Another huge wave of worry washes through me as I bolt out of the door, not even bothering to close or lock it.

I run down one small flight of stairs to the outside door. Shit it's raining really hard and it's really foggy outside. I think to myself but then shake that thought away and put Sean as my number one priority. I push open the door and frantically try to think of where Sean would go. I had forgotten why I came out here because I only had Sean on my mind and how much I miss him already.

I remembered what had happened in the past few minutes. Then it hit me.

The bridge.

I know exactly where it is and the worst part is that it isn't too far away. I take off in the direction of the bridge. The rain and wind are pelting my face. I keep going, trying to forget how much the rain and wind hurt right now and focus on how hurt I will/would be if something happened to Sean.

I quicken me pace which I didn't think was even possible. I wipe at my right eye, thinking that it might do something but I was wrong. It was rapidly covered with tears and rain once again.

I know that I'm nearing the bridge so I make sure to keep an eye out as best I can.

It wasn't easy with all of this rain and wind (and my tears), but I suddenly spotted at dark figure leaning over the bridge. I can't see very well but I can see a light green on top of their head. I run closer to them and I know for a fact that it's Sean. I quicken my pace to the fastest I've ever run and pull Sean away from the bridge and into a bear hug.

He doesn't even fight back. He just hugs back.

I could hear the sold cry's of Sean which saddened me even more to the point where I was now sobbing into Sean's shoulder. "I-I was so worried Sean. Please promise me that you won't EVER do that again."

Sean pulls away and looks at me. "I promise."