phan oneshots (book two)

Talking over cuddles

a/n: trigger warning? kinda

thanks for all the views!!

Phil takes a deep breath and enters in the hospital. having his boyfriend trapped in that structure is horrible. not that Dan is sick or something, but he tried to kill himself and he needs help.

while Phil climbs the stairs he continues to think. he wants to say him something and tell Dan that everything's going to be alright because he's with him, but he already did it and Dan ended up with a knife in his shaking hand and Phil doesn't think that just telling him "it's okay" will make things actually okay anymore.

he enters in his room and forces a smile, not that forced because seeing him is always a great way to spend the day. but he would.. love to see him happiest.

"Phil," Dan smiles.

"baby, how are you?" he asks approaching and leaving a long kiss on his forehead.

"I'm okay."

"good," Phil smiles looking into his eyes. "was your day productive?"

"um, not that much. I just watched the TV and talked with that annoying psychologist," he blurts, he looks tired.

"what did he tell you?" Phil asks caressing his hand.

"I'm okay, I don't even need him."

"I know you don't," he don't really agrees but says anyways. "but talking with someone is good, it can improve your life."

"I want to go home," he mutters hugging him and crying. now he always cries, just talking about his situation makes him cry.

Phil didn't tell Dan than just with singing a paper he could go home because he's scared of losing him. he doesn't want him to stay bad just because of him.

"I know you want to, just some weeks," he says.

"I don't believe you."

"don't you believe me?" Phil asks and Dan shakes his head.

"take me home now."

"some weeks, I promise," he whispers and kisses his forehead. "if you talk with the psychologist you will surely go home soon."

"how's work going?" Dan changes the subject.

"it's okay, everything is fine," Phil answers wiping some tears from his face, at least he didn't cry that much. "if you don't talk with the psychologist, will you be more comfortable with talking with me?"

"yes, I want to talk with you."

"tell me."

"I don't know why I tried to kill myself, I have such a pretty life," Dan whispers. "but I wanted to end it. I'm not crazy, I promise. really. don't leave me."

"leave.. you?"

"yeah."

"Dan," Phil chuckles watching into his eyes. "I could never leave you, it's been almost seven years. I can't leave you alone now, just because of this. because I love you."

"I love you too," Dan smiles slightly. "I don't want to leave you."

"I know, you're not going to," Phil answers smiling. "I think you just felt bad for a minute, I know that you wouldn't ever kill yourself."

"I don't know what I thought, why would I want to leave you?"

"I don't know, but now everything is fine," Phil smiles and hugs him, kissing his forehead. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Dan finally says. "I am sorry."

"don't."

"sometimes at night I wake up and I can't sleep so I think about when we stayed at home together," he giggles. "I want to sleep with you."

"me too baby, soon," Phil smiles. "also, are you taking your medicines?"

"I am, don't worry."

"I worry, because I love you."

"it's okay, I'm okay."

"I know you are," Phil smiles again and kisses him. "I missed talking with you like this, and staying with you."

"I miss you too."

"dinner!" an old woman yells entering in Dan's room. "hi guys."

"oh, hi Jasmine," Dan smiles. she hands him the tray with the food and Dan smiles. hospital food isn't good, but at least.. it's eatable.

she goes away and Phil looks at it. "it looks good."

"fuck off, it isn't," Dan smiles and starts to eat.

"I should go home too."

he shakes his head.

"I have some things to do for work too, and I need to get some rest," he says and kisses his forehead. "but I'll come tomorrow afternoon, and evening."

"okay," Dan answers forcing a slight smile.

Phil finally leaves a kisses on his lips and gets up. "see you."

"be careful when you drive home," Dan says. "see you."

"I will."

"Phil?"

"uh?"

"I'm not going to leave you, I promise. I'll also talk with the psychologist if it will help me, so I can return home soon and spend time with you."