When It's Time to Move On

Door 3 - Chapter 38 - Understanding

"What would be the point in living out what remains of the time I have in pain? Unless you're telling me there's a hundred-percent possibility of me being cured..." Harris had simply said that to stump Roslin in her replies but in spite of himself, a small part of him hoped she would answer positively. But looking at her glum expression indicated he was right. And he hated it.

"There's a chance..." She said as if pleading with him.

"At least if you help Auden you could see him live, be happy, and attend his wedding, I guess," Harris said, the dejectedness returning to him, although he tried to hide it behind a look of acceptance. "With me, it would just be further heartbreak. And believe it or not, I would like to see you be successful."

"If you don't get treated, you probably won't get to see it."

"I'm not the only one who needs help," he said looking around at the rest of the patients.

"...but I want to help you," Roslin said in a small voice, Harris saw her trying to look away from him, mirroring how he had a few minutes ago.

At least now he could be certain of her genuineness, it was a pity they had never been on the same page at the same time. Back when he'd needed her for his treatment, she'd been distant, and now when she was prepared to give everything she had, it didn't matter to him anymore. He felt a measure of gratitude rush into him as he touched her hand.

"It's okay, doctor," said Harris with a small smile.

At his touch she looked back, her eyes welling up just as his had been.

"Told you to call me by name. So..." she sniffed, removing her glasses to rub her eyes. "What now?"

"I think we have a coffee shop we need to be at today, right?" He reminded her. It felt as if from a past life when they'd been sitting at the dinner table making plans, back when his situation hadn't felt so real.

"Oh, yeah," Roslin remembered, although looked as if she completely hated the idea. "But you can't be serious, you want to go there in this condition?"

"I'm getting up, aren't I?" He pointed out as he began to leave.

"Harris, you can't be–"

"You know I'm leaving, so you could either help me out or let me be." He struggled to his feet.

Knowing it was a lost cause to argue, Roslin helped him up. Harris splashed himself with as much water as he could -- he wanted to wash off the shame. 

He then returned outside and put on a big smile to show to Roslin.

"Like it never happened, huh?"

"You might say that," she humored him half-heartedly. Although Harris could tell she could notice his blotched eyes.

"You could let me borrow your makeup, help hide it." He addressed the matter with a joke.

"You're asking the wrong person for that. Let's just get going," she stopped with the nicety. Harris didn't feel much like staying out of character for too long either.

"I'll get home by myself."

"You've got another thing coming if you think that."

"Roslin, please," he said firmly. Now that he was standing again, his fatigue was setting in again, and he didn't want to exert himself by arguing. Roslin seemed to think the same as she stepped back and let him leave. "I'll see you there."

"I better hope so."

Harris could feel her eyes watching him leave and pretended as if he wasn't struggling to make his way out of the hospital. As soon as he was clearly out of view, he collapsed into a nearby cab.