When It's Time to Move On

Door 3 - Chapter 32 - Importance

And so it had begun all over again. Harris couldn't believe it. Dr. Roslin had returned to her office, somehow seeming revitalized, and assured him of her full commitment. His initial skepticism didn't fade away, though. However, the advantage he had was the fact that this time he had been diagnosed beforehand. More crucially he had Dr. Roslin in his control.

There wasn't much of a case should he take the matter to court. Unbeknownst to her, he had no such intentions. The old fear he used to hold had returned to stay, mingled with the pain and the constant embers rising in his chest; the feeling of dread. The issue over his health took first and only priority over everything else.

For the past couple of weeks, he'd been on a course prescribed by Dr. Roslin.

"How are meds going to help?" He asked dubiously staring at the prescription paper.

"We're going to try reducing the ailment organically first. Since it's been detected at such an..." She paused, glancing at him nervously. "...an early stage."

"And taking these will stop the growth?" He asked, a hopeful twinge apparent in his question despite him not wanting to reveal any of it.

"Hopefully." She replied simply, although unwilling to meet his eyes. 

"And if they don't work?" He'd been given the same type of response before as well.

"They'll work...hopefully." She added under her breath, Harris pierced his stare at her, she sighed and continued. "If not then we'll have to go for... advanced methods."

The distinction with which the last two words were uttered flickered his memory to his original diagnosis, and the painful sessions that followed. Panicking slightly, he feigned a casual nod.

Back at home he took the medicine as prescribed. But his nervousness refused to leave him, he was unsure what to expect, as if the medicine would have a magical effect that would cure him in an instant. Even if it did, he couldn't possibly know. Still, he ran his hand over his stomach, waiting for some sign.

The phone rang, making him jump. He didn't receive the call, however, his mind was preoccupied with the diagnosis, and there was a chance that whoever it was calling would add something to his already full list of problems.

"Hey, Harris, it's Auden. Haven't heard from you in a while, I thought I'd call you up to see how you were doing. Yeah, I'm sure you're in your hibernation phase, but remember to call back. You might not think it, but you do have people who consider you their friend. See you soon."

He'd forgotten how long it'd been since he'd been among other people. He'd been in the company of death as far back as his memory cared to serve him to remember that he'd had friends. 

"Huh." It was all Harris could mutter.

"Doctor, are the meds working or not?" He asked days later. "Because honestly, I don't feel any different."

"Do you feel worse?" Dr. Roslin asked, a trace of nervousness on her face.

"Not really, but the pangs in my stomach are still there." He told her, and was unsurprised to see her look of uneasiness augmented. He had prior experience after all. Still, this wasn't good news.

"Well then we should give it a few more days." She suggested, ruffling through the notes on her desk seemingly looking for something. Harris sat across studying her. The animosity between him and Dr. Roslin had wilted due in part to her promise of helping him, but she looked just about as clueless as he did; he felt it was time for added assurance now.

"How come you're helping me now?"

"I'm helping, isn't that enough?"

"I don't think anything is ever enough." Harris spoke softly. "Not when you feel you don't have what you want."

"So what is it that you want?" She set aside her notes, giving him her concentration now.

"I didn't say I wanted anything."

"Then what is it that you don't want?" asked Dr. Roslin, a noticeable curiosity in her voice. Harris wondered if her reason for asking was somewhat personal.

"Cancer, for one," he circumvented the question to the matter at hand. She resumed tousling the papers.

"That's what we're here for, after all." She studied the medication dosage she had previously prescribed and instructed him to take an increased amount for some time.

He didn't leave, though, finding it more comfortable to be in her presence. He felt that witnessing her do her job would give him the belief that she did know what she was doing.

"You need something else?" She asked him.

"No." He replied simply, knowing she'd get the point. Dr. Roslin didn't object but scribbled something in her notepad. Harris vexed at the sight of it. "Can I ask, what exactly do you write down when we talk?"

"Oh... nothing, really." She excused in a dodgy manner. Harris took this to understand she was not aware she had written down her 'psychiatric' evaluations of him on the file he'd read. "Can't divulge personal matters, can I?" She chuckled nervously. Harris's smiled simpered.

"I suppose not." He didn't want to be an annoyance but with his previous experience with Dr. Roslin firmly in mind, he had no intention of waiting on his hands and feet for her to be serious about him. And scribbling down his apparent issues discreetly didn't exactly display appropriate transparency. "I suppose I can get the meds from here."

He placed his hand on the knob of the medical supplies door – the one behind which the hallway had originally stood – when Dr. Roslin pounced from her seat.

"No, no, not from there. Uh... I'll come down with you to the pharmacy and get them with you." She said hastily, practically pushing him out.

Harris had had an inkling something was there to do with the door judging by how many times Dr. Roslin's eyes had darted toward it, but this confirmed those suspicions.

He had to do nothing as she rushed behind the counter at the pharmacy and even paid for medicine herself.

"Well, off you go." She bid him in an overtly cheery tone. Harris had barely processed her impetuosity, though. Dr. Roslin checked her watch as she waited for him to leave.

"You have somewhere you need to be?" He asked. If her intention was for him to go away quietly by rushing through everything, she had been tremendously wrong, because his curiosity was level high at the moment.

"No, just some errands to run," she replied, now with a hint of impatience clearly discernible.

"All right," he accepted her answer cheerfully, and moved away.

When he'd reached outside the gate, Harris hid himself behind a bush. Dr. Roslin sighed in relief, walking past without spotting him in the opposite direction. Harris slowly followed her, intending to find out what exactly was so pressing that she had to leave at this hour every day. 

He trailed her across the street, into the opening of a highly lush pathway surrounded by plant life. The leaves danced in the melody of the cool breeze that sifted through the air. And Dr. Roslin followed the lane. Harris made to pursue before the serene atmosphere was interrupted by a screech.

His phone rang. Dr. Roslin turned sharply to inspect although by then Harris had set off far away.

"Hello?" He puffed into the receiver, stopping only after he'd made a considerable distance. The side of his stomach smarted, he rubbed it absently.

"Dude, turn around." A voice he'd heard recently spoke. "I'm right behind you."

"What?" He was panting too much to make out who it was.

Harris spun back to see Auden draw close and pull him into a hug. In the distance he saw the path Dr. Roslin had disappeared into, thinking if only his friend had waited just a little while to call.

Then again, the emotion with which Auden embraced him clearly showed Harris's importance to him. Like before, it was clear the problem was Harris himself.