new world » tronnor

(12)

"troye," whispered connor. troye looked up at him. connor stared at those blue eyes, remembering what he had felt the first time he had seen them. how easily troye could make him blush. how he had spent hours that night thinking, imagining what it would be like to have troye mellet like him.

connor smiled shylu, looking away. he loved troye, there was no doubt about that. he loved everything there was about troye. but that was the problem. it was too late. and they both were stuck in this cycle of making up and breaking up. of kissing and dissing.

"we shouldn't." whispered connor, slowly leaning his forehead on troye's collarbone. connor felt tears swell up in his eyes. "this has been an amazing journey but we're causing each other too much hurt."

troye hugged the boy tightly, digging his face into his neck. "i'm not giving up."

connor sobbed into him. feeling the tears fall down his face, the warm water slide down his face. the months of holding it together finally coming apart. he felt as troye's grip around him tightened every time connor shuddered.

"i love you, i love you." repeated troye, each phrase hitting connor hard. his face turning red from the lack of personal air. his chest inflating like a balloon.

he wanted to say it back. he knew he should've. it was on the tip of his tongue. just three words. the three words that'll make everything okay again.

"i'm scared." whispered connor. he opened his eyes, his vision blurry. "it's scary to love you, troye."

troye sighed, his hand moving up and down his back. "love is scary, con. one minute it's there, the other gone. we gamble because we love the person. we want to win and love them forever."

connor let out a shaky laugh. "what a bunch of idiots. gambling is addicting."

"so are you." whispered troye, connor almost missed it. he lifted his head and looked at troye. his eyes a bit glassy.

troye repeated himself, "so are you." he kissed connor softly, slowly. almost as if he was afraid connor would push him away if he rushed it.

his hands squeezed connor's sides. connor relaxed, sighing against his lips. he lifted a hand and wiped the leftover tears away.

"you are worth the risk." whispered troye.

connor put both his hands on the sides of troye's face and kissed him again. and again. and again. until his lips were numb and troye was a giggling mess.

they both fell on the bed, giggling and laughing. troye looked up at connor, biting his lip.

"what?" asked connor, blushing.

troye shook his head, smiling gently. "you're just one of those people who should never not be laughing."

connor smiled, took troye's hand in his. "i love you too."