The Alpha Saw My Scars

Chapter 17

"Sooooo guess what I heard the doctor tell Wes." Max said with a grin on his face as he walked into my room.
"Hmm?" Was my only response as I continued to scratch over the gauze they had wrapped around my wrists.
"I heard that you get to leave tonight."
"Cool." I mumbled, still not even glancing in Max's direction.
"Okay, what the hell, what are you doing and why aren't you happy to get out of here? You hate hospitals and doctors and everything in between. What's wrong?"
I sighed as Max came and sat next to me, looking at me even though I still kept my head down.
"I don't know, it's just that, ever since I told Wes, he's acting different around me. I mean, he already acted super careful with me, but now it's like he's terrified to say or do the wrong thing like as if I'll have a complete mental breakdown if he does. And just, I mean obviously that's not gonna happen, but I don't know how to tell him that without him getting offended or thinking I'm like freaking out on him or whatever. But I hate this whole thing where he treats me like he's tiptoeing across cracked glass. Like as if he makes one wrong move and everything will go to shit. I don't know what to do, Max. I'm starting to regret telling him."
"Aw, Vi, I'm so sorry. I know that you're really stressed right now with finding your mate and being in the hospital and then telling him and all that. Maybe once you get home we can go for a run, just me and you. Clear your head, let your wolf run free, all that. And then after we'll go to the coffee shop. Sound good?"
"Yeah. Sounds good."
I was leaning my head on Max's shoulder with a sigh when Wes walked in.
"What sounds good?" He asked, tilting his head at the two of us, and I could tell his wolf was on edge from how close I was to Max.
"Nothing important. What'd the doctor say?" I said as I lifted my head from his shoulder.
"He said you should be healed completely later tonight and that's when he'll remove the gauze and few stitches there were and you can leave. But he said you will still feel kinda bad for a little, because even though your wolf can heal you quickly, you still lost a lot of blood and that's not so easily fixed. So, he said you'll have to take it easy and relax for at least a few days before you can get back to normal. But hey at least you can leave right?"
"Yeah.. So much for that run when I get home Max." I grumbled with a small frown.
"Huh?" Wes questioned before Max could respond.
"We were gonna go for a run when I went home, but I guess now it'll have to wait." I pouted at Max.
"It's okay Vi you need to rest. We'll go when you're feeling better. Okay?"
"Okay. And still go to the coffee shop?"
"Of course."
"Um, what's going on what did I miss?" Wes raised an eyebrow, his impatience with us showing loud and clear.
"Nothing, it's nothing you need to worry about Wes."
"Okay so I can trust you to wait until you're feeling better to do anything like that though right? Because lucky for you I told them not to put you in the psych ward and hold you there for 72 hours like they are supposed to do for people who come in with situations like you, and they only listened to me since I'm their alpha, but I can take it back and have them put you in there for as long as it takes until you are completely better." Wes said, suddenly very angry for no reason that I understood.
"Excuse me?" I said, stunned.
"Woah woah woah, hey, there is no need for all that, Wes. Seriously just calm down and think about what you're saying." Max cut in, inching closer to me and wrapping an arm around me protectively.
"Maybe you should calm down and stop being so touchy with my mate." Wes growled.
"I'm sorry, what? Are you joking? Look, I don't know what you think is going on here, but she's my best friend and I've been protecting her and taking care of her for years. Practically since we were born. I'm not being 'touchy' I'm being a good best friend. And doing my job of making sure she's okay, meanwhile you're just snapping at her and threatening to put her in a psych ward because she wants to go on a run! And you want to tell me to calm down? I think if either of us really needs to calm down it's you."
At this point I was shaking at the thought of a psych ward, I couldn't go back there.
"Maybe a psych ward is where she belongs."
I finally looked up with tears in my eyes.
"If that's what you really think Wes then why'd you bother telling them not to put me in to begin with? Maybe you're not different like I thought you were. Maybe you're just like everyone else who hates me and thinks I'm just some girl who's got so many issues that she can't even live with her family, much less her pack. If you think I belong there then why don't you go ahead and put me there? I know I wouldn't come out the same after being put in a psych ward for the third time but maybe you don't care."
"W-what? Vi no wait, that's not what I meant-" Wes began to trip over his words as he looked at me with wide eyes, realizing his mistake.
"No, I think that's exactly what you meant. And that's okay. Maybe I shouldn't have told you all that stuff about me so soon. Maybe we just need some time apart. And maybe I do belong in a psych ward, but I'm not going there. Not today. And I'm sorry if that disappoints you. But I'm gonna leave here tonight and I don't expect to see you again until Max drags me back to school in like a week." I said before leaving the room, hoping to find this doctor and convince him to let me go early.
•••
"Max, come on, the doctor said I can go now. I need you to take me home." I said as I walked back into the room where Max and Wes seemed to be having an intense staring contest.
But of course I knew better, Wes was angry at Max for being close with his mate and he was being an over protective douche, and Max was angry because Wes was being an over protective douche and kinda treating me like shit.
"He's releasing you early?" Max asked, shocked the doctor did anything other than what he had told Wes he'd do earlier.
"Yep. I've already signed the papers. Let's get out of here."
"Awesome. You have everything?"
"If by everything you mean the clothes that I showed up in because I had nothing else with me when you brought me here, then yes, I have everything."
"Good to know you're as sarcastic as ever, Vi. Let's go."
"Wait, did you say the doctor released you early?" Wes asked, suddenly catching on to the situation.
"Yes she did." Max answered for me as he walked up to me.
"Why would he do that?"
"Because I asked him to. We're going to leave now, and you're going to let us. Goodbye Wes." I said and grabbed Max's hand to pull him out the door behind me.
I let out a breath as we walked away from the room, shocked I was able to say and do that without having a panic attack. I continued to hold Max's hand as he led me out of the hospital, hoping to keep it from shaking. Max noticed and squeezed my hand, looking over at me as we walked.
"You okay?" He asked, concerned like always.
"Yeah, just, um, yeah. I'm fine." I said shakily as I ran my fingers through my hair.
"Violet, sweetheart, you know I love you right?"
"Yeah of course. I love you too Max."
"And you know that I'd do anything for you, right? You know I'd do anything to protect you, to make sure you're okay?"
"I know, I know. Max are you okay? You know I know all of this stuff, why do you need to ask?"
"I'm fine, I just want to make sure you know that that'll never change. I'm here for you, Vi, I always have been and I always will be. I just felt like it was a good time to remind you."
"I know you're here for me Max. And thank you so much for that. And I know you're probably just trying to get me to tell you what's wrong, and I will, just not right now. I just really want to go home for now. And I want to change into a really big t-shirt, and I want to climb into my bed. And I want to sleep. And hopefully, my best friend will join me because I can tell he's tired and he keeps me warm and makes me feel safe."
"You know what? I think he will."
"Awesome maybe now I won't have another nightmare."
•••
The elevator doors opened and I immediately ran out of them and to my door. I unlocked it and ran in, flopping face-down on my bed.
"Oh thank god my bed! I missed you so much bed. You're amazing never forget that." I said with my arms spread out across the bed.
"Ya know you should really tell yourself that instead of your bed." Max said as he walked in and closed the door behind him.
"No, I'd rather not lie to myself."
"Where's the lie in that?"
"The amazing part."
"Vi, I may be your best friend, but I am not obligated to say this, and I've gotta say, I think you're pretty damn amazing."
"You're just saying that."
"No, I'm not. I promise."
"Whatever. I'm gonna change."
I got up off of the bed and walked over to my dresser, opening the drawer where I kept my t-shirts. Not bothering to go to the bathroom to change, I stood by the dresser and changed out of my days old clothes and into the large gray long-sleeved shirt I had stolen from Max about a year ago, along with my softest pair of leggings. I walked over to the bed where Max was already waiting for me, looking at something on his phone.
"Hey." I mumbled as I got into bed and cuddled up against his side under the blanket.
"Hey sweetheart. Is that my shirt?" He asked, amusement in his voice, as he put his phone on the bedside table and looked over at me.
"Maybe. But I mean, I've had it for a while. So, if you haven't asked about it before now, then clearly it's not a big deal, and you're gonna let me keep it. Am I correct?"
"You know you are." He chuckled.
"Mhm."
I put my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, and I let myself truly relax for the first time in days. He held me close as I took a deep breath, somehow knowing that I just needed some time to calm down after everything that's happened.
I soon drifted into a dreamless sleep, Max watching me to make sure I was okay and asleep before he let himself fall asleep.
•••
I woke up to Max trying to slip out of bed carefully, pushing a pillow towards me so I'd think he's still here.
"Where you goin?" I mumbled tiredly, barely able to get my eyes open completely.
"Just to get a drink. I'm sorry I woke you, go back to sleep sweetheart," Max whispered, sounding like he was hiding something.
I was too tired to question it, so I just nodded. My eyes closed again, and I was almost asleep again when I heard my bedroom door open and close, followed by the front door. Did Max just leave?
"Max?" I called out, trying to be loud without yelling.
"Max, if you're leaving you could at least tell me, you know I don't like waking up with you gone and not knowing why."
Finally giving up, I groaned and rolled out of bed. I managed to drag myself across my apartment looking for him, and he wasn't anywhere. Checking the time, i noticed that it was 1 AM. Where is he going?? Annoyed but feeling the need to find him and see what he was doing, I slipped on some converse and didn't bother tying them as I grabbed my keys and walked quietly out of my apartment.
When I finally got down to the lobby I jogged out the large doors, looking around for Max. Luckily I walked out just in time to see his Jeep trying to turn out of the parking lot. I ran over to my car, jumping in so I could follow him. I made note of which way he went and waited a minute before pulling out behind him. I really need him to not know I'm following him.
I kept following him, keeping a distance and making sure he had no clue I was there. Eventually he pulled up to an empty parking lot and parked on the far side of it. I kept going and pulled into a restaurant parking lot near him, and got out of my car to quickly walk over there and find something to hide behind. Fortunately when I got over there the trees were close enough that I'd still be able to hear and see what he was doing if I stayed between the densely packed trees.
I watched as a black Harley pulled up in the parking spot front of Max. I squinted to see, before realizing who it was. Wes.
What are they doing?
Wes walked towards the Jeep as Max got out of it, and moved to stand leaning against the front of it.
"Thanks for meeting me," Wes said, looking directly at Max.
"Why'd you ask me to meet you, Wes? What do you want?" Max responded, sounding angry.
"I need you to understand that I didn't mean what I said."
"Which part? The part where you were always angry at me for no reason? Or the part where you were a complete ass to your mate?"
"When I said that, I didn't realize what I was saying. I was angry and blindly saying whatever came to mind. I didn't want to hurt her. You have to understand that."
"I can't understand how you basically said she needed to be locked up but yet somehow you didn't want to hurt her. I really can't."
"Max, look. I was angry. I said things I didn't mean. I messed up. I didn't want it to happen. But it did. Can you please give me a chance? I care about her, and I feel like I'm losing her. I can't, I can't lose her. Please give me a chance to apologize. To both of you."
"You do realize that she doesn't want to talk to you after what you said to her, right?"
"I know, that's why I need you to forgive me enough to help me convince her to talk to me. I need to tell her I'm sorry. I need her to know that I didn't mean it."
"Why? Why do you need me? You're her mate, why can't you just ask her?"
"You know it's more complicated than that. She's mad at me, but not you. She won't speak to me unless you help me convince her to."
"I don't want to feel like I'm forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do."
"That's not what I want. I don't want you to force her. I just want you to make sure she knows that I really really really want to talk to her. To apologize to her."
"When exactly are you wanting this to happen? Because I left her asleep in the apartment and I'm not going to wake her-"
He stopped abruptly as I jumped in my spot in the trees due to an animal running at me. Both of them immediately snapped their heads in my direction at the sound of leaves crunching and twigs snapping. I had originally just jumped out of shock when an animal appeared running towards me out of darkness, but then in an attempt to move out of it's path I tripped and fell.
"What was that?" I heard Wes ask.
"I don't know, but I'm going to go look because of a vague instance that I do know what it was." Max responded and began stalking towards me.
Shit. He knows.
I try to scramble to my feet so I can run deeper into the trees and maybe even back to my car if I can manage, but he's faster than me.
"Violet, what are you doing?" Max sighs, standing over me.
"Um, sleepwalking?" I tried, saying the first excuse that came to mind.
"Right. Sleepwalking. Come on, get up," he scoffed, reaching down and pulling me to my feet.
"Sorry Max."
"I know. Come on."
I hung my head slightly as Max guided me forward with his hand on the small of my back. When we finally reached Wes I didn't even look at him.
"Sleepwalking, she says." Max announces as he crossed his arms and looks at me pointedly.
"I already said sorry Max, I don't know what you want me to say," I mumbled, my hair falling in my face as I kept my head down.
"Do you maybe want to explain what you were doing over there? And don't say sleepwalking again."
"You said you were going to get a drink. And then I heard the front door open and close. I wanted to know what you were doing at 1 AM that required you to not only leave my apartment but lie to me about it."
"Why didn't you just ask me when I got back?"
"Because I didn't want you to lie to me about it."
He sighed, running his hand across his face and through his hair.
"I wish I could say I wouldn't lie but I'm not sure that's true. I'm sorry sweetheart."
"S'okay."
"Hey, Vi," Wes said quietly, looking at me hopefully.
"Hi," I whispered, not meeting his eyes.
"So, I take it you heard all of that?"
I nodded, still keeping my head down.
"Can we, maybe, go talk somewhere? Alone? I just really want to apologize and say some things that I need you to know. Would that be okay?"
I froze, anxiety and dread weighing me down. I couldn't help but look up at him now, barely tilting my head up enough to look at him. His eyes were trained on mine, watching me carefully. He looked stuck somewhere between hopeful and stressed.
"I-I guess that would be okay..." I said, my hands now shaking.
"Okay, great, are you okay with riding on my bike or?"
I glanced hesitantly at the black Harley behind him, and I couldn't help but admire it. I'd always wanted one. My grandfather had one, and I loved it.
"I'm fine with it."
He smiled, looking relieved. He went over and sat down, motioning for me to do the same. Carefully I went over and sat behind him, trying to leave space between us but the minute I was on the seat I slid and the space became nonexistent. I almost gasped, but held it in so I wouldn't embarrass myself. He turned the key, the engine roaring to life.
"Vi, you're probably gonna want to hold on to me," Wes said, looking over his shoulder at me.
"Right..um..." I hesitated, not knowing where I should hold on.
He chuckled slightly, reaching back and grabbing my hands, putting them on his sides.
"If you feel comfortable you can wrap your arms around my waist, but this'll do if not."
I nodded, my cheeks getting hot because he noticed how uncomfortable I am being so close with him after what he said to me.
"Max do you just want me to drop her off back at her apartment after so you don't have to wait here?" Wes suddenly says, turning to Max.
"Sure. I'll see you later Vi," Max responds, looking at me.
I nodded, looking him directly in the eye as I tried not to shake at the thought of going off alone with Wes.
Please let me know if anything happens. I'll be there wherever you are within 10 minutes if he tries to do something. Max mind-linked me.
I will. Thank you Max. I responded.
As Wes took off suddenly I panicked and wrapped my arms all the way around his waist.
"Scared?" He called, glancing quickly at me over his shoulder.
"N-no, you just surprised me. I wasn't paying enough attention," I responded.
"Sorry Vi. Just please try to relax, you're worrying me a little."
"Right...relax..." I whispered, frowning.
Eventually as we continued to drive I couldn't help but get comfortable, because trying to stay away from him was really uncomfortable let's be honest. And also it was hard not to at least let my body relax as I felt the sparks run through me everywhere we touched. I kept my arms around his waist, but they were no longer tense and stiff. I rested my cheek against his back, letting my eyes close.
After a while we came to a stop, and I opened my eyes as I realized that we had arrived wherever it was he'd wanted to bring me to talk. He got off before me, standing and holding his hand out to help me off. I hesitantly allowed him to help me as I looked around to see where we were. It just seemed to be a forest...
"We're gonna have a to walk for a minute to get to where I want to go. I hope that's okay," Wes said.
"It's fine," I responded quietly.
I bit my lip as I followed him through the dense forest, keeping close behind him. For some reason walking through here in the middle of the night made me really nervous, and I'm almost never nervous in forests, I typically feel quite calm and at peace in the forest. I guess I shouldn't read too much into it though...
Finally we reached the place Wes wanted to go, which was a cliff sort of that overlooked the rest of the forest, and there was a large rock a few feet away from the edge. We sat down on the edge of the rock, keeping space between us. I sat quietly and stared out over the trees as I waited for him to speak.
"Violet... I'm so sorry for what I said. I don't know why I said that, I was just angry. I didn't like that you were so close with a male that wasn't me, and I began to get mad when you seemed to be arranging something secret with Max, and then my wolf just started blowing it all out of proportion and making me think things that I should've known weren't true but I couldn't help but listen to him because I was already jealous and upset. I felt sort of betrayed, and I was hurt. So for some reason that led me to say things that I didn't mean and that I know hurt you, and I'm so so so so sorry for that. I didn't want to hurt you. I swear. And if you give me another chance, I swear I will never ever hurt you ever again. Just, please, know that I'm telling you the truth, and please give me a second chance. Please give me a chance to make it up to you," Wes said, looking at me while he spoke.
I was shocked at the amount of emotion in his voice and eyes as he spoke.
"Wes, I-I," I paused, taking a deep breath as I looked away from him, "I don't know that I'm ready to forgive what you said, but I'm also not ready to just give up on you... you're my mate, a mate that I never thought I'd get because I was always convinced that I didn't deserve one, and I still am. But here you are, and I can't just let that go..."
"Of course you deserve a mate, darling. You're one of the strongest people I've met."
"Me? Strong? Do you not recall the events since we met? I can't even go a week without taking a blade to my wrists because I'm not good enough."
"But here's the thing Vi, you've been through so much and yet here you are, sitting before me, alive and breathing. I can't help but think you're strong because you manage to continue living your life no matter what you've been through or what the people in your pack say. I couldn't imagine anyone stronger than you, I couldn't have asked for a better mate. You're exactly who I need in my life, Vi. Please don't leave it."
"I-I, wow Wes, I don't know what to say. I won't, I won't leave. I can't, you're my mate and as much as I wish it wasn't true I think I need you."
"I need you too Vi."
I looked over at him hesitantly as I saw him move closer to me.
"I don't want to live without you... I've just barely had the chance to get to know you but I know that if I lost you I wouldn't be the same ever. I wouldn't even know what to do with myself."
He reached over and tucked a stray bit of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering on my cheek afterwards. I bit my lip and looked down, sparks dancing across my skin everywhere we touched.
"Wes, I... I don't think I could go anywhere if I tried, no matter how mad or hurt I am by what you said."
"I need to apologize, again... I'm so so so sorry for what I said Violet. I never had the intention of hurting you. I regret everything I said that day, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you and made you upset."
"You don't have to keep apologizing, Wes... I'll get over it. It's fine."
"But it's not fine because I upset you, and you're my mate and you deserve better," he sighed, his hand falling from my face.
"Hey, don't do that, Wes... don't tell yourself you're not good enough. You are way better than me, if anything I'm not good enough for you. I promise everything will be fine. Just give me another day and I won't be upset by what you said anymore. I just take a little more time to get over things sometimes. Okay? It'll all be fine," I assured him, reaching out and resting my hand on his shoulder.
He only nodded, looking down. I felt bad for making him feel this way, even if he did hurt me by saying what he did. Slowly, hesitantly, I leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. He quickly looked over at me in shock, his eyes meeting mine finally.
"It's really okay, Wes," I whispered, kissing his cheek again.
"I really want to kiss you right now," Wes whispered, glancing down at my lips and letting his hand trail back up to rest on my cheek.
"Maybe you should."
And after that I could swear the whole world stopped for this moment. As soon as those words fell from my lips no louder than a whisper, Wes leaned in, kissing me gently but it was full of passion and need. Sparks exploded throughout my body, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer. He dropped his hand from my cheek in favor of wrapping his arms around my waist. I couldn't help but want more, kissing my mate for the first time was an indescribable feeling.
When we finally pulled apart Wes rested his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes as his fingers gently traced patterns on my lower back.
"Wes?" I mumbled as I absentmindedly moved to lay my forehead on his shoulder instead.
"Yes darling?" He responded, adjusting his hold on me as I moved.
"Can we just...stay here for a little while? I don't want to go home yet.."
"Of course darling. We can stay here as long as you'd like. I'll do anything to make you happy."
•••
Yes I know this chapter has been a long time coming, but I started it and ended up having a hard time finishing it. First it was school, then it was writers block, then it was personal issues, and then writers block again. I'm so very sorry that it took so long for me to write and publish this chapter. Hopefully since I just got this one out and I'm going to start on the next one right now I should have the next chapter out very soon. Thank you all for being so patient with me, xx