Sing Along Spoby One-Shots

I hate you, I love you

Feeling used, but I'm still missing you
And I can't see the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips

Rosewood. She had promised herself the moment she left this town that she would never come back. Everywhere she went, there is something else she wants to forget. Something else she thought she left in Rosewood and promised not to come back for. Spencer knows it is only a town, not a monster. But growing up here and going through everything she has, she knows there are monsters in it. It's Rosewood. Here, things don't change. People do.

She thought she left Toby here in Rosewood. Yes, they were in love, but a life changing decision was too much. Their love was huge, but wasn't big enough to help them survive after the storm had passed. The baby. They thought they were going to have a baby. The future wasn't clear, but their different pictures were crystal clear. They loved each other, but the relationship was nothing but toxic after that.

And now all this time
Is passing by

They are 22 now. They grew up, but never did quite outgrow their feelings toward one another. They haven't seen each other since the baby ordeal; neither sure they could do it without falling right back down the rabbit hole of habits. They used to love each other; they had something so real, but they had to move on.

He did.
And..
She couldn't.

But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

Of all of her many reasons to leave Rosewood before college started, Charlotte was just another one of those reasons. Rosewood did mean Toby, but too much happened in that toxic town that she couldn't quite bring herself to call home. Toby used to be her home. And now that he isn't? She has none. Rosewood has nothing left to offer her, but even after she promised herself she'd never come back here, she is here once again to reassure the corrupt cops of Rosewood she feels safe enough for them to release Charlotte. It's ironic, she left Rosewood because of Charlotte, and she is back for the same reason. She doesn't want to be back. It doesn't feel right; none of it does. She misses Toby, but she can't. Seeing him for the first time will hurt. It'll make the huge void in her heart that only he can fill grow larger once again. It hurts to see him. She can't tell him why it hurts, but it hurts. It cuts deeper than a knife right where it matters most.

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to
But I can't put nobody else above you

She could never hate Toby. She loved Toby so much that it hurt. She could never get over those feelings. It was like everybody moved on, and left her behind. She feels left out in the dust with nobody to turn to. Her and her friends lost touch, and Toby and her drifted. She really didn't have anybody. Toby does. So she loves him, and she /really/ hates that she does. Spencer still loves him, and she hates him for it. But the thing is, she doesn't hate him. Not at all. She tried dating, but she couldn't put anybody else above Toby. They haven't talked in a year or two since the breakup, and she still can't get over him. She can't put anybody above him, mostly because she can't get herself over him.

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

Spencer wants Toby. They ended things for what they both believed was for the better, but that hasn't stopped her from wanting him. She wants him when she wakes up from a nightmare about the Dollhouse. She wants him every time her phone rings because old habits die hard. She wants him when she can't sleep and when she wants to turn to the pills again. She wants him. No, maybe she needs him. But he doesn't need her. He needs a girl who has a less hectic life; a girl who can't constantly cause him pain and still expect him to stick around at the end of the day. Yvonne can do that for him. Yvonne /is/ the girl. Spencer could never be that girl.