Take Me Back | ✔️

15. THE PROMISE

I'VE SUFFERED PANIC ATTACKS right after Michael died or at least when I thought that he died. Moving on, especially when everything reminded me of him, was the most incredibly hardest thing to do. And Alex has helped me through the second time I took therapy. He always knew how to calm me down until I've learned to do it myself.

Now, I feel like I've forgotten everything I've learned in therapy. I can't seem to breathe. All I'm reminded by is how Michael is Jason. How Jason is Michael.

"Sammy, look at me."

My eyes snapped towards the man with the gray eyes, concern written all over his face. He tried to get to me but is stopped by his own chain. We were all alone in the room, but somehow, I was feeling like Michael was still standing in front of me. The man who I thought that I knew.

"It's going to be okay," he repeated it for the nth time now. Each one of it seemed to be less believable. "Just breathe. Inhale, exhale. Inhale and exhale. Count as you do it."

Inhale. One two three.

Exhale.

It wasn't working. Tears were falling down from my face. "I let him in, Travis. I slept with him."

He nodded, as if he understood what I was feeling. "I know. Just breathe. You're okay, Sammy. I'm here with you."

But none of what he was saying was going through my head. All red flags were raised and sirens were going off in my head. "Oh God. I—I had a kid with him. Gabriel. What am I going to tell him, Travis? My dad and Misty died because I let a murderer become part of our family all because I loved him.

He shook his head, trying to reach out to me.

"Listen to me, look at me, Sam," he said, firmly. My breath was slowing down as I stared longer into his eyes—somehow, he was calming me without even saying anything further. "We'll figure it out. Together. It'll be okay. I promise. I'm here with you."

My eyes closed, my breathing returning back to normal slowly.

One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.

Three Mississippi. Four Mississi—

Okay. I'm okay.

"How long have you been having panic attacks?" He asked, his hand reaching over to me but stopped again by the chain. "You never told me about this."

And I felt his yearn for him to reach me. Because... right now, all I want is to hold him, have his arms around me, make me feel safe but even that we can't have.

I shook my head, trying to meet him halfway in the room. Stupid fucking chains! "It started when I was under the impression that Michael died. It was severe and went away shortly after everything, but I guess since he's alive and he's a cold-hearted, sex-trafficker, murderer, they just went back all of a sudden. It's okay, though. It'll be over before you know it."

"Don't get too close, Sam," Micha—I mean, Jason's voice boomed around the room.

As we stared up, we noticed the installments of the speakers and cameras on each side of the room.

"Did you tell him what you did to my brother, Sam?" He asked, the taunt in his voice was clear. "You killed him, remember?"

Travis' eyes furrowed. "What's he talking about, Sammy?"