Start From Scratch (Sequel To Why Me???)

Distance Is Often Beneficial

"Girl, that dress looks stunning!" Audrey says the minute her eyes land on me. She embraces me with her usual heart-warming, we've-known-each-other-forever hug.
"Thanks. It's your boyfriend's choice," I say. Liam takes a stand beside Audrey, wrapping his arm around her waist.
"Actually, I chose that." Audrey's eyes do a quick once-over of my body, and she nods to herself, clearly satisfied.
"Good choice, Audrey. Thanks for everything. However, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't want to be here." I glance around Liam's huge house, taking in the suits, and dresses. Most of the men are dressed stylishly in suits, with the exception of a few who are wearing casual attire.
"It'll help take your mind off...certain things." Liam says, smiling at me, his voice laced with patience. Honestly, I expected him to blow up on me after all of my stubbornness. However, he's patient as ever.
"Whatever, Liam, I hate you right now. I'm going to go grab a drink," I say. Hastily, I head over to the refreshments table. The sooner I get out of Liam and Audrey's sight, the sooner I can leave the party. Sadly, I will have to stick around for at least half an hour. The dress that is adorning my body looks highly expensive. However, compared to the other women who are here I think it blends right in. The dress is black, with a slit running across my chest, showing a little cleavage. But it's still decent. I think the tailor who made this dress ran out of black cloth because my back is bare. It's decent, yet indecent. The things that Liam and Audrey make me do. Sighing, I grab a champagne flute.
"You look stunning today." Gosh that voice. That bloody fucking voice. I turn my head away from the direction of his voice. "What, you're just going to ignore me?" That's the plan. "It's been months, get over it." He's right. I need to act like I'm over what happened, otherwise he will think that I'm still in love with him. I stop, and turn around to face Harry.
"Hi, Harry." I say with a smile on my face. Fuck, I need an Oscar for acting. He looks handsome as ever. Harry's hair is pushed away from his forehead and he's wearing a couple of necklaces in his neck. One has a cross, the other has an angel holding something up and the third has waves, I think. The sleeves of his suit are rolled up till his elbows, and he's not wearing a suit jacket. His feet are clad in his usual, old boots. Casual, yet classy. How the hell does he manage to look good in everything?
"Hey, Bella. Didn't you hear me talking to you?" Harry says, smiling as if we're old friends.
"Sorry, Bluetooth." I push the hair that's covering my left ear back and show him the Bluetooth that's in my ear. Thank the lords that I wear my Bluetooth everywhere.
"Oh," he murmurs. Harry doesn't seem satisfied, but I think I did a pretty good job.
"How have you been doing?" I ask him.
"Good, good. You?" Harry says, eyeing me up and down.
"Perfect! Got a new job, a new apartment. Life's been good to me." Lying bitch, my conscious yells.
"That's great to hear, Bella." Harry seems very interested in his shoes because he doesn't seem to want to look at my face. "I've missed you."
"Can't say the same." I say it as lightly as I can. However, I wonder if he can hear the lie.
"Oh." Harry looks disappointed. Good. "Want to dance?" I look over at the dance floor, not liking the sweet and gentle way the couples are dancing. I don't want to have a slow, intimate dance with Harry.
"I don't think so," I say. Harry pouts his lips, but his eyes are alight with mischief.
"Aw, come on, I know that I'm a great dancer. But I'm sure you'll keep up," Harry says. I chuckle, shaking my head.
"No, thank you. I'm perfectly fine here." I hold up my hands and take a step back. As I'm taking another sip of champagne, Harry tugs at my other hand, pulling me toward the dance floor. He grabs the glass of champagne from my hand, and hands it to a waiter who looks bored out of his mind. What is with people forcing me to do things that I don't want to do today?
"Harry, let me go." I say, tugging my hand away from his. However, he only tightens his hold on it.
"Come on, Bella, learn to live. Be carefree and act your age." Harry says, laughing.
"Harry, this isn't funny." I tug at my hand again, but Harry doesn't seem to be getting the message.
"Bella, one dance, just one." He insists, grinning like a clown. The feeling of his hand wrapped around mine is so familiar, and comforting. However, there's a cold feeling to his touch as well.
"Just one," I concede. Harry smiles at me satisfactorily.
"Your stubbornness hasn't left you, eh?" Harry says, as we take our positions on the dance floor. I smile at him, but don't say anything. My eyes glance across this huge house, and then they land on the DJ's booth that is set up in one corner. Louis is standing behind the whole setup, a pair of headphones in his hand. His eyes are trained on Harry and I, and I can see the evil, mischievous gleam in his eyes. Oh, shit! Without wasting another second, Louis changes the slow, yet upbeat song to a romantic, sensual beat. Later, I'm going to get him for doing this. I can feel the mood in the room change. Couples grab hands, and come to take a place on the dance floor. The couples who are already on the dance floor move closer together, molding their bodies with each other. Suddenly, Harry pulls me closer to him, our bodies plastered together.
"What are you doing, Harry?" I ask, as I try to take a step back. However, Harry's arms that are looped around my waist, stop me from doing so.
"I don't want to be the odd one out, who's holding his girl ten feet away from himself." Harry says, and I can feel him smiling over my shoulder. Harry's hair tickles my face because my face is on his shoulder. As always, the scent calms my nerves and thudding heart. I don't know why Harry has this effect on me, even after so many years of being in a relationship with him.
"I'm not your girl." I say, even though there's no conviction in my tone.
"You were once," Harry whispers in my ear. I close my eyes, and take a deep breath.
"I-I'm sorry, but I have to go." I move back and head off the dance floor, toward the exit. Once I'm out, the cold wind swipes my hair back and forth across my face.
"What am I doing?" I murmur to myself, pushing my hair away from my face.
"Standing outside in the cold, while all the gangsters are enjoying inside." I turn around.
"Why aren't you leaving me alone, Harry?" I ask him.
"I haven't seen you in the past two months, give me a break."
"Give you a break?" I scoff, shaking my head. "Harry, just go. Please."
"Bella, you don't care about me anymore, then why am I bothering you so much?" Harry asks, taking a step toward me. I hold up my hands and he stops.
"You're so fucking dense." I let out a hollow chuckle. "You're blind, dense and an asshole."
"Can we just forget about everything for a while and just sit and talk?" Harry takes a seat on the front stairs. I look at him skeptically, but then take a seat beside him. "Let's talk about other things."
"Okay...like what?" I say, fiddling with the ring that's on my middle finger.
"Do you like the setup of the party? I did the interior design with Niall's help."
"It's good," I murmur. "How do you know about the gangsters?" Harry sighs, passing a hand through his hair.
"Liam's helping me get over my fear of guns, drugs and burly men. I've accompanied him to a few deals, and I'm going to work with him often." Harry laughs and shakes his head. "Work. Liam and the other boys make it sound so normal, like being a gangster and doing illegal things is a normal profession."
"For the people who are part of it, it is." I say, wrapping my arms around myself. It's cold out here.
"I'm not fully a part of it, but almost." Harry shrugs his shoulders. "Guns still scare the shit out of me." I laugh a proper, hearty laugh. The sound seems foreign to my own ears. I haven't laughed properly in months. Sure, I laughed before at the party. However, I hadn't fully meant it. Right now - sitting next to Harry - I have almost forgotten about everything that happened between us. Almost. However, this is the problem, Harry always makes me forget about how much he's hurt me, and the mistakes that he's made. In fact, this time, what he did didn't seem like a mistake. He did it on purpose.
"Bella?" Harry calls, breaking my train of thoughts. I look up into his green eyes and I don't like the sight that I see. Instead of seeing his warm, welcoming, green Harry eyes, I see a cold-hearted bastard who has broken my heart more than once.
"I have to leave, Harry." I say, getting up. He opens his mouth, but then closes it.
"It was nice talking to you, Bella." Harry says from behind me, as I'm almost out of the driveway. I nod my head, without turning to face him. This is what he does every time and I won't let him do it again. I will not forgive him for everything and start afresh with him.