{ #1 } I Was Shooting For The Moon, I Hit Two Stars (MxMxM || 18+)

Chapter 55 - Hopeless & Homeless

With that in mind, I wrap myself in the comforter, shut my eyes and drift to sleep. Another dreamless sleep.

When I wake up the following morning, I can tell that something isn't right. My lower half is still wrapped within the comforter and a cold breeze is brushing my back. I suddenly remember that I left the window slightly opened before I went to bed, but it shouldn't allow that much wind in. Flipping to my other side, I freeze when I see that the window is now fully up. I had lifted it by only a couple of inches!

The next second I'm out of bed and searching the small room for anything missing, but I quickly notice that my backpack is no longer where I had left it, beside the bed. Just in case my memory is failing me, I search the whole room, but it soon gets obvious that an intruder got in and stole it.

500 dollars. My ID. My credit card. A few pictures of Mark and Shannon.

Bile rises in my throat and I barely make it to the toilets to throw up the few remnants that my stomach held from last night while tears of rage spill out of my eyes. How could I be so stupid!? Who could be dumb enough to leave a window open when their room in on the ground floor!? Well, I am that dumbass! I am so mad at myself!

Once my stomach has stopped heaving, I flush the toilet and fall back on my backside, leaning against the wall to shed all the tears I have. 500 dollars... What am I going to do now?

Crawling back to the bed, I retrieve the envelope from beneath the mattress, relieved to find it there, but it doesn't soothe much of my anger. After I have paid the last two nights, I will be left with less than 200 bucks... It may sound a lot, but it won't get me far. Obviously, I can't stay here any longer and waste any more money on a hotel room.

Naïve as I am, I still try my luck calling the receptionist.

"Reception. How can I help?" a cold feminine voice answers.

"Hi... I'm Mr. Simmons, room number 7. I was wondering if you heard about burglaries at the hotel last night?"

"None at all. Why do you ask?"

"Because someone broke into my room and stole my backpack..."

"Did they break the window!!?" she exclaims.

"No... I had left it open..." I concede shamefully.

"Seriously? You left the window open on the ground floor?" she accuses sarcastically. "Well, you may call the police, but I doubt they'll help you much here. They might take fingerprints. Hopefully they didn't steal your wallet or money..." she then adds with heavy suspicion in her voice.

"They did, but I still have some cash..."

"Well, I expect to see you within the next half hour to pay the last two nights, and should you want to stay in our hotel, I'll ask you to pay further nights in advance," she replies very dryly.

Of course. They wouldn't take any risk hosting someone who might not be able to pay... I'm so dejected by her lack of compassion – not that I deserve it anyway – and coldness that I can barely breathe. I can't dwell on that or my stupid mistakes, though, so I gather myself together and go to the bathroom to use the shower one last time. The mild water doesn't help me to relax, but who knows when I'll be able to enjoy a shower next time?

Once I have dressed and packed my belongings inside my duffle bag, I head out to reception. The woman's expression is just as cold as her voice earlier when I check out, but I don't care and leave without another word, my package safely swung across my shoulder as I start walking south toward the city center. I'm not hungry and yet, my stomach keeps claiming for food, so a couple of hours later, I quickly stop by a grocery store to buy some sandwich bread, a banana and a bottle of water.

A few minutes later, I'm sitting on a bench at a huge park beside the University of Illinois, eating a slice of bread. My stomach churns, but I'm forcing myself to eat a bit more because I know my body needs food. Fainting because of hypoglycemia or whatever is clearly not what I need now.

The park reminds me of all the times I went running with Mark and Shannon. It's not as nice as the Millenium, but it brings nice memories. Or sad memories. I never thought that running could be pleasant before. However, once Mark had offered me a good pair of sneakers and taught me how to breathe properly, I began to enjoy this physical activity; a lot more than spending two hours at the gym by the way.

I miss him and his dominance so much right now. More and more each day. I need him so desperately. Without his guidance, I'm not capable of anything good, obviously. He wouldn't have let us sleep with a window open on the ground floor of a motel. He would know what to do now. He would provide me with the best advice on how to sort this mess out. I miss Shannon so much as well. I need his bright personality. Without him, life seems so dull and gray.

If only I could return to them... but I'm too scared of their reaction. They're probably mad at me, if not worse.

It's been over a week now and I wonder if they moved on from me, back to their former dual relationship. Or perhaps they replaced me with another Submissive... They must have been to the Black Diamond last night, so maybe they fell for someone else. Anyway, why would they even take me back with them after what I did? If I show up there, they might as well kick me out right away. It would only be fair.

As a sign of my doomed fate, raindrops start falling over Champaign. Isn't this ironic? The weather has been beautiful ever since I arrived and while I had a roof over my head, and now that I have to live on the streets, it's raining.

With a heavy sigh, I pull myself up and head out of the park. I need to find a shelter, or at least a place to keep away from bad weather conditions. Just my luck.

My name's Alexander Simmons and I'm the biggest dumbass in the world. I had a future and I ruined it all. Now I'm 20 and all I own is a few clothes, toiletries, and barely 200 dollars...

I'm homeless.

Homeless and hopeless.

So hopeless that I sincerely wish I had been in my parents' car on April 26th, 2012.

Published on 11 June 2016