39. Not Ever.

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Katherine, I need to find Katherine, is all I can think as I speed down the freeway

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Katherine, I need to find Katherine, is all I can think as I speed down the freeway. There's tears escaping from my eyes and dribbling down my cheeks. I can barely see the oncoming traffic.

Probably wasn't a great idea to drive.

I can't believe Alex said those things to me. I mean, it's one thing to know what he's thinking, but to have him say what he's thinking?

I can't even process his words without breaking down in sobs.

I still know the way to Kat's house from the last time I visited. It's four suburbs over, almost through the centre of town. I wind down the windows in a sad attempt to dry my eyes. It doesn't work.

Turns out high pressured cold air actually makes your eyes water more.

About a block from the address, I try to ease my sobs. It sounds like I'm choking on my own trachea. I dare to check the rear-view mirror and am horribly met with swollen eyes, swollen cheeks, and a swollen shut throat. Everything is different shades of red.

Fantastic.

Oh well, I'm sure Katherine won't care. I steal myself and step out of the car. Three deep breaths. There's no going back now, I ring the doorbell, sniffle profusely and wipe my cheeks. I inhale four shaky times as I wait for an answer.

As I hear the doorknob click, I realise a few things.

a) As he is on the football team, Dylan may be home.

b) Other footballers may be joining him.

c) Katherine is still at school right now.

There is no one here for me right now. With Katherine away, I have absolutely nobody to comfort me. I should have never come here. The waterworks are returning.

"Tori?"

"Hey Dylan," My voice is incredibly shaky as I wipe fresh tears from my eyes before they have the chance to make me look even more pathetic. "Katherine home?" I know she's not home. But, why else would I be here?

"She's at school still... Why are you...?" He pronounces each syllable slowly, as if monitoring his mouth extremely. His olive eyes crinkle with concern and something else. Panic. Something in my chest loosens.

Dylan. Dylan is so kind, I'm sure he can understand. I suppose we could just forget the terrible, awkward first date (not to mention the almost-first kiss). It's only fair that I give him a second chance. After all, he has been nothing but sweet, caring and considerate toward me.

It's not his fault that I'm an excruciatingly awkward person. I know I'm not exactly in an emotionally stable state to talk about our almost-relationship, but I have to smooth things over with Dylan one way or another.

"Can we –"

Suddenly, I notice the phone in his hand, purely for the reason that it vibrates. Instantly, he brings his attention to the screen, then glancing behind him in a jittery manner. What's his deal?

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