I Like It When You're Angry

Chapter 26

"Yes, that would be great, thank you." I hung up the phone, staring at it as I shoved it back in the corner of the counter. I turned and took the plate heaped with cookies, walking out to the living room where Leo was waiting on the couch. Staring at them sheepishly, I placed them on the flat cushion between the two of us and gingerly plucked one from the batch, nibbling on it as I faced Leo. He was reclined, laying his arm to rest on top of a comfy pillow as he watched me eat.

"Who were you talking to?"

I wiped my hands of any crumbs and folded my legs in towards myself, sitting criss-cross. Here we go.

"The wedding planner."

"Was there a problem, did the venue cancel on us? There's probably bad weather that day-"

"No, there's no problems."

"Oh, okay."

Leo started to reach for a cookie and I shut my eyes, giving myself a second to process my thoughts.

"Actually, there is a problem."

Leo stopped short, looking up at me from a bite of his cookie.

"...the problem, is....with us..."

He put down his cookie, placing the plate on the floor as he scooted closer to me, taking my hand into his lap as he cocked his head to one side.

"What do you mean?"

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as I stared down at our hands.

"Leo, I called the wedding planner, to schedule another meeting to end this."

"Meeting? End what?"

"We can't."

His eyebrows knit together in confusion as he strained to understand my logic.

"Can't, what?"

"...we can't get married."

Leo's face blanched to an unhealthy pale hue, and his hand went limp in mine. I waited for some sort of reaction, at least a sound, but nothing. Only silence.

"Le-"

"How long have you been thinking about this?"

"What do you mean?"

"How LONG have you been lying to me?" His voice was getting louder with each word, and I quickly moved to take away my hand, but he gripped it tighter, locking me down on the couch.

"Lying about what?"

"God, would you stop acting so naive and stupid all the time?! I'm asking a simple question Lily!"

"My name is Mina!" I tore my hand from his, snapping up from the couch as I crossed the living room to the wall.

Leo hung his head exasperated, one hand resting on the back of his neck while the other was slung over the edge of the pillow. I gazed at him for a while, biting my lip as I mustered up the courage to speak again.

"Are you asking me, if I was lying about loving you?"

Leo looked at me, eyebrows raised with his palms facing me, questioningly. My eyes grew wide as I approached him. "Why would you say that?"

"Then why are you doing this?"

"Because it's, it's,-"

"Just tell me!"

"Fine! It's true."

"What is?"

I inhaled, dreading what I was about to say. But it had to be done.

"I don't love you anymore."

He swallowed and his shoulders seemed to shrug inward. He had no answer; his expression was ghastly as I could tell my words had the magnitude of a bus hitting him at full speed. Leo stood, coming to me pleading hands as he lifted my chin towards his gaze.

"You don't mean that, listen, we'll just see a therapist, get thi-"

"Leo-"

"We'll get some help, just work out this out and-"

"Leo!"

He shut his mouth, gulping as he brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"I meant, what I said."

"But...you couldn't, you can't. You're the love of my life, Mina."

I exhaled painfully as I tried to walk away from him, but he caged me in. He was so pure, so good; he didn't deserve what I was doing to him. I wanted to embrace him, pretend that it was all a dream and kiss him tenderly. He resembled a small child, innocent and forgiving, and I was the abuser, crushing his heart. I shakily removed the engagement ring from my finger, taking his hand as I pressed it into his palm forcefully. He shook his head aggressively, but I made sure he took it, escaping his two arms of a prison. I rushed to my front door, jerking on the knob as I opened it to the hallway.

"I told you every one of my secrets. I gave everything to you," His voice was hoarse with pain.

I breathed slowly as I held my gaze with the ground. I needed to get him out of here. Maybe, I knew all along that this could never happen, but I kept ignoring reality as usual. And now, I've destroyed an amazing man who just so happened to fall victim to my anger. Leo brushed by me, pausing at the threshold to try and make eye contact, but I refused. Then I would just surrender and the whole point would vanish. After seeing my firm decision, Leo walked out of the apartment and down the stairs instead of taking the elevator. It was over, there was nothing left of us anymore.

But it felt so liberating. For once in my life, I wasn't running from anyone, I didn't have a reason to retaliate or hide, and most of all, I wasn't afraid. I walked back to the couch, picking up the platter of cookies from the floor and shifting them onto my lap as I turned on the TV. Shoving one into my mouth, I chewed hastily, craving the sensation of chocolate and sugar.

But no matter how moist or fresh they were, it felt like cement when I swallowed. My mouth became dry and I rose with the plate to get a glass of water.  On my way I spotted the picture hanging on the wall, and at first, I glanced at it by accident, but something drew me in. I wandered over to it, studying the faces of the Elders. Quintus's warm eyes made me smile sadly, and I looked to Vibius and Amius as well, grinning at their serious expressions. I had to pay them a visit.