Dare to Fall

Chapter VIII

I shake my head in reply.

"Well, there you go. But, no pressure, okay?" Logan says as I roll my eyes.

"Sounds like you are pressuring me to apologize," I commented.

I was the opposite of my mom. I am not strong nor brave nor bold, but I was trying to be strong and brave, but never bold. Maybe it's because of my perspective about being strong and brave—which means they are just one, but rather strong and brave comes along with being confident, and maybe that was the third adjective about myself.

Strong, brave and confident.

"Talk to him later during lunch," Amelia says. I look at her with a face that says 'do I really have to?', as she just nods her head in silence and pats my back. "You can do this, you'll just be apologizing."

Easy for her to say. I don't know why apologizing to someone is something that I am really scared of doing or ashamed of doing. Maybe it's because I am afraid to make mistakes, all I want is to be perfect but I am far beyond that word, I wasn't even close to being better yet being perfect was far beyond my expectations of becoming a whole new person.

Everyone wants to be perfect, or maybe that's what I think. Being perfect gains a lot of respect from others, people will look up to you and see you as a role model, but I was not perfect. Why am I even going towards that certain point, when I can just be me? It was something that I could never answer myself because I was never satisfied with who I am and who I am isn't enough for me.

"Or maybe do it now," I hear Amelia whisper into my ear. I look at her as she points to where Cayden is standing, he was by his locker as Katie continues to chitchat with him and as he continues to ignore her presence as if she didn't even exist.

I shake my head, "No, thank you," I said as I start walking towards the opposite direction of where Cayden is. Amelia grabs my backpack and stops me from getting away, she turns me around as I whined and pleaded her to let me go.

"Do you have to wait? If you want this to be over, you do it now. It won't take long if you apologize," Amelia says as I sigh.

"Fine, let's get this over with," I said as I walked towards Cayden, slinging my backpack properly on my shoulder as I took all of the courage to apologize. I keep memorizing the words in my head so that I wouldn't stutter or say any word that could make things worse.

I was an inch away from him when I stopped in my tracks. I turned around to look at Amelia but she was gesturing for me to continue as I turn my head back and continue walking towards him and Katie, "Excuse me," I said.

Both Cayden and Katie snapped their heads and looked at me, Cayden's eyes turned serious as soon as he saw me, "What are you doing here, are you lost?" Katie asks as I roll my eyes at her response.

"I didn't come here to talk to you, so would you please, step aside?" I said.

"And what if I don't want to?" Katie asked as she crossed both of her arms towards her chest, furrowing her eyebrows at me as her eyes tested me, her mouth ready to spit venom onto my face.

"Then, don't," I said as I walked at the other side and stood at Cayden's back instead. Katie pops her head on Cayden's side as she gave me an icy glare and I gave her an eye roll instead. "Can we talk?" I told Cayden.

He looked at me without responding as I stood there looking like an idiot as if I was talking to the wind. "I think it's clear that Cayden doesn't want to talk to a trash like you, so stop wasting your time and just leave," Katie said as she walked towards me, pushing my elbow.

I was flabbergasted at what she did. I stare at her, "I really need to talk to him, not you," I said as I plaster a dejected smirk on my face. I look back at Cayden as he rolls his eyes at Katie, he then grabs her elbow and drags her to the side.