More Than Friends

Meeting Half-Way

And don't get me wrong. I support O to the fullest. It was inspiring to see the type of game he had. Knowing how hard he works, and now the national attention he was getting. For ESPN to dub him "the best receiver in college football." I was sincerely proud of him. But I was at a breaking point right now. I'm trying to figure my life out since I didn't get my dream. And I'm scrambling to figure out what's next for me. I have continue to keep my grades up so I can get in a kick ass grad school. No Senioritis (slacking off because you're a senior) for me. And he's just going to have to understand that.

"O you're being dramatic. I came to the game. I had on my jersey. I even did this ritual you feel helps you. On days when I have big exams coming up, I can't go and hang out. I have known you since freshmen year it has always been that way."

"Nahhh." He shook his head. "We weren't together then K. I need your support in a different kind of way now."

I let out a huge sigh. "And how is that O?"

"I just feel like after the game you didn't give me the reception I needed."

"How Odell? I told you I was proud of you after the game."

"In the car after the game." He corrected me.

I sighed and laid my head on my fist, which my arm was up on the side of the couch. I always do that. What is the fucking problem? I never go onto the field after the game, unless like his family or somebody is there. It's too many people around saying stuff. Like I just wait for him by the car.

"I had droves of people. Droves of people K come on the field or to the locker after the game congratulating me. I was thinking such this was such a big game for me, you would come on the field or at least meet me at the locker room. You told me after the game on our way home, after Brandon said something. I got all types of text from everybody. Tweets. Instagram comments. You didn't make a tweet. Instagram post nothing."

"Odell I never tweet about you. I never Instagram about you."  Oh my God. I was getting head-ache. I rubbed my temple.

"It was my biggest fucking game K." He sat up hitting his hand in frustration as spoke. You know how when people make a point, they hit their hands to explain. "When you won your prize I had you all over my shit. All over. Even my facebook and I don't even use that shit. Telling you how proud I was of you paving the way for black little girls to know they could have careers in science, which is rare."

I sighed and folded my arms, resting my head on the couch staring at the ceiling.

"I sent you a screen-shot of an article from ESPN saying yesterday I solidified myself as thee best receiver in college football. Me. The best, and you sent me the eye roll emoji."

"I always do that Odell!" I said loud in frustration.

He just kept shaking his head.

"You know that I am proud of you. Why are you acting like you don't know me. None of what I say is personal. It's all jokes. I call you ugly all the time. I call you average. I joke about others being better receivers. That's our relationship. It has always been that." I explained to him frustrated.

We were getting loud.

"But as a my woman, you can't do that no more K. This not friend shit no more. And it's getting down to the wire. I'm already on edge. Just wanting to make the most of this last year, so I can look good for the scouts. What number I go in the draft is going to depend on this year. And out of everybody, I just need you to support me in a different kind of way then you been doing."

"You do understand in all this the only person you mentioned was you. I'm supposed to put everything aside to cater to you."  I looked at him

"I'm not saying that. I go hard for your dreams K. I brag about you to everybody I know. I'm just saying you need to give a little more to me than when we were friends. I peeped it a long ago. But I didn't really say anything. Cause we was just friends, no pressure. But I have always gave 100 % to our friendship. I showed you in every way that I cared about you. We went over this. The gloves. Every time I get a chance to interview, I shout you out You didn't even thank me in your Prize speech. I was hurt for a minute, but I didn't even make a big deal about it. You never really met me half way. And in this relationship I'm not asking you to give up everything or anything at all. Just meet me half way."

I rubbed my temple again. I was starting to see this relationship business was more than I bargained for. I had to figure out how to manage meeting him half-way, but still staying true to my own path. I didn't even know he felt this way.

"And then you didn't even let me kiss you at the game. Like that shit blew me." He looked at me. The wrinkles in his forehead showed his frustration. 

"O I'm not saying we have to be a secret, but I don't want that attention. It's bad enough I'm kissing your gloves."

He shook his head profusely, like I was getting the point.

"I don't want people in our business like that. It's like the couples who are constantly posting on Instagram and Facebook. When people see you out there constantly, they want you to fail and they do shit to make sure it happens. I love you O. I do. I will slob you down all day at home, but we are already an untraditional couple. I want to protect us from anybody just waiting to breed negativity. So we wont' fail." I explained.

"I don't agree with that. I don't think we will fail because we were way stronger before this. People only do what you allow. You don't allow them to come in between you, they won't. I'm not saying we have to be slobbing down in public, but it is important for me to not live my life in some bondage. Everybody knew you were my best friend. And I want them to know, that one of the most brilliant women in the world is my girl. My personality requires physical connection. I get energy off of that. I can't imagine going to a press conference and not mentioning your name. Or not being able to show my love in public. Some niggas is cool keeping they girl in a dungeon, not me. I'm not ashamed of you. You shouldn't be either."

"I'm not ashamed of me. I love myself and who I am. But I just don't want unwarranted attention Odell. That's why I don't post you on my social media. All I need is one of your little groupies commenting under my shit. People are cruel." 

"You can't worry about people K. But one thing I do know, is we gotta figure this bout about meeting half way. There are certain things you need from a relationship. And there are certain things I need, and we gotta meet half-way. Otherwise we not gon make it. And that's nobody's fault but our own."  He got up and went back to the room.

Who do you agree with loves and why?