Fragile // Sequel to Torn

34. |

// Ethan's point of view //

Everyones just pretending like nothing happened. I want to move on, but I've also got my mind set on Jakob getting help. If he is in any way abusive with me again, I'm out of here. Not only have I promised Chris, but I've promised myself- no matter how much  I want to be with Jakob. Today we're at a photoshoot for a magazine, and I really wish I was anywhere but here. You can only fake a smile or clear your eyes of sadness for so long; photoshop can only do so much. I'm sitting on the side with Jakob, watching Chris completely smash his solo shoot. Then all of a sudden, I hear Jakob whisper something under his breath.

"I can't do this."

Then he stands up and walks off. I follow him instantly, stopping him when we're in the dressing room. Finally, he turns around and I can see the pain and panic in his eyes.

"My pants are too tight," he whispers, trying to pry the fabric away from his thigh. "I'm too fat."

"Jake, what's going on?" I ask, taking a step towards him 

"They got my size wrong. These pants are too tight. I look so fat." Jakob repeats, his feet shuffling like he doesn't know what to do.

"Your pants look fine," I tell him, taking yet another step forward. I'm still wary he's going to back away if I come on too quickly. "You look perfect."

"Don't lie; This is going to be in a fucking magazine." He continues to stress.

"You don't look fat at all. I mean, your legs are so hot. Don't ever say that." I try a new tactic.

"They're fat." Jakob insists. I place a hand on his chest, trailing it up his shoulder.

"They're not fat," I insist, pressing my lips softly against his. "You're beautiful."

"I love you." He whispers as he pulls away.

"I love you too."

I take Jakob's hand as we begin to walk back outside. I only let go when we're in sight of people. Chris is just finishing when we get back to the photoshoot area.

"Who's next?" The photographer asks.

"Me." I say before anyone can suggest Jakob. He gives me a grateful look as I walk in front of the screen.

•••

"You know I didn't mean it when I said you ruin our photoshoots." I tell Jakob. We're just laying on my bed, cuddling as we watch a movie on my laptop. It's at least 2am but I don't feel like sleeping.

"I know," he replies. "But I did."

"Please don't ever think that." I tilt my head to look up at him from where I'm resting it on his shoulder.

Jakob just kisses my forehead, causing me to close my eyes. He lets his lips linger for a few seconds before pulling me closer. I turn back to the movie to see credits rolling on the screen. It's finished. I sigh and reach forward shutting my laptop. I pick it up and roll away from Jakob, placing it on the floor by my bed. When I roll back, he's sitting up.

"Wait, Etho, I don't want to sleep." He tells me.

"What do you want to do then?" I ask.

"I want to talk with you."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"The future." Jakob tells me, laying down with his head against the pillow.

"What about the future?" I ask, laying down next to him. I pull the blankets up over us and find his hand with mine.

A few minutes of silence pass. It's like he's trying to find where to start or even hesitating actually doing so.