Fragile // Sequel to Torn

8. |

// Jakob's point of view //

I want to be honest with him now we're friends again. Last night was a mix of emotions and some things happened that I regret. Well, only one thing but it hasn't left my mind. I didn't mean to kiss him and I didn't expect him to kiss me back. Either way, it meant nothing and it is nothing to me anymore. I'm going to tell him what's really going on between Ashley and I.

"Can I come in?" I ask, knocking gently on his bedroom door.

"Yeah." His voice comes back softly. I walk in to find him sitting on the floor, leaning up against the side of his bed.

"I came to tell you the truth," I sigh, not knowing how this is going down. "I don't want to lie to you."

"What?"

"Okay so Ashley and I... If it wasn't clear last night, we are dating. Actually, after tomorrow night we will be officially." I manage, bracing myself to either be slapped or kicked out.

"What's tomorrow night?" Ethan asks, his voice still flat. This isn't what I was expecting. I look down to see him fiddling with a ring on his third finger.

"I'm taking her out."

"Oh."

"And I just wanted to be honest with you because I know it's not what you want to happen. I promise I'm not taking her from you, okay?" I tell him, wishing he'd give me a little more.

"Okay."

"Are you alright?" I sigh, moving to sit next to him. He continues to stare down at his hands.

"I'm good." Ethan nods, tilting his head back against the bed and looking at the roof now. He just looks bored.

"Want to go do something?" I offer.

"I miss them." Is all he replies with and I can't say I'm not confused.

"Who?"

"Kaleb, a-and Kade." Ethan stutters a little, his bottom lip quivering the slightest bit.

"You can do this, Ethan; you can make it through. If you can get through Kade, you can get through Kaleb." I try, not knowing if I'm actually helping him at all.

"I still haven't made it through Kade." He breathes, shaking his head as he turns it to look at me. I can see the pain in his eyes and I'm not sure why it affects me so much. Will this boy ever catch a break?

"It's going to be o-" I start again but Ethan cuts me off.

"It's almost like, oh, hey, don't get close with him because you'll probably end up dead!"

His voice chokes up half way through the sentence. I can tell he was trying to smile but he isn't happy at all. Tears are now falling down his cheeks at a rapid pace. What is he saying? He's freaking me out.

"And then the worst part is that you start not letting people in because you're so paranoid it will happen to them. But some people are already too close to you to push away," He continues, talking like I'm not even here. "And that sucks when you barely have any friends to start with."

"Ethan, stop," I tell him, his head snapping to look at me. "You can't think like that. None of this was your fault."

"Why do you even bother with me?"

Ethan's voice came out as barely over a whisper, choked up by tears. He's still looking at me, his eyes filled with pain. I'm trying to find the right answer and it's not coming to me. I know I have to say something.

"Because I do really care about you."

"But why?" He asks, laughing at himself like this was all just some sick joke. It doesn't work because of all the crying though. "I'm nothing special."

"You're really special to me, and to Chris, and to Ashley. You're special to Tim and to the company and to the fans. To Kade. You're so, so special." I tell him, still looking at him even though his eyes flicker away.

"You should... Go." Ethan whispers, starting to fiddle with his hands.

"I don't want to leave you here." I object. He just smiles half heartedly and hugs me awkwardly from his position beside me.

"I'm fine." He whispers as he pulls away. For a second I just look at him, but snap out of it and stand up.

I leave the room and walk down the hallway to the stairs. Just as I get to the bottom, my phone starts to ring. I slide it out of my pocket to see its Ashley. My brain goes through a moment of conflict but I decide to answer it inside the house.

"Hey."

"Am I allowed to be calling you?" She asks out of nowhere and I can't work out what she meant by it.

"I think so. Have you tried talking to him?"

"We haven't really talked in a while. Not since the restaurant a few weeks ago." Ashley sighs.

"Oh."

"Want to go do something outside the house?" She asks now. I feel guilty, and I also don't want to be too far from Ethan right now. I know he can't go to Chris.

"Uh, I can't right now. I can't wait for tomorrow night, though." I tell her. Looking around, I open the front door and decide to sit on the porch.

"Look, um, Jake..." Ashley starts, instantly worrying me.

"What's wrong?" I interrupt way too quickly.

"Nothing," she laughs a little before turning serious again. "I just wanted to say that I really like you, a-and that even though Ethan is really important to both of us, I don't want him to get in the way of anything."

"I really like you too." I tell her, glad it wasn't anything bad.

"So we will go through with this no matter what Ethan says?"

"We will."