Silence (Troyler Au)

9th Grade

L a u r e l l e

Things have been rough around here in the past year. Troye has been anything but the happy boy he was once raised to be. He stopped doing all the things that made him happy, he stopped writing and singing, in general it seems like he stopped smiling.

Except when he talks to Tyler, he still lights up like the sun when Tyler's face is on the screen. He laughs...like real belly laughs and he smiles. Then like a light switch it all goes away when the camera turns off. The light in his eyes fade and the smile disappears. I miss the Troye we had in America, my happy little boy.

He never leaves his room now, we've put him into therapy and entered him into support groups about making friends. I'm running out of ideas about what we can do. He's the shell of the Troye we used to know.

"Troye honey time for group" I say knocking on the door to his room.

"I'm not fucking going, it's dumb and I don't need to go" he said, and I groaned knowing that this was going to be another battle. "I'm not asking I'm telling you. You don't have a choice" I say in response

"That fucking figures! When do I ever have a choice with you!" he growled "I can't wait until I'm 18 and I can leave and be on my own"

I know it was wrong but I was at the end of my rope yelling back, "Yeah well until then you live in my house under my roof with my rules! Which means that you have 5 minutes to be dressed and be in the car or so help me Troye Sivan Mellet you will never see your laptop again!"

He ripped the door opened and pushed past me, "you can have it, you took all the rest of my joy away. Go big or go home right" he deadpanned

"Troye..." I said trying to reach out for him as he continued down the hall to the front door.

"Just save it, take me to fucking group so I can come home" he said gravely

So I did just that, diving the angry teen to group and waiting for him outside. Coming to the realization that this was utterly pointless. He wasn't going to open up to anyone if he didn't want to be a the group. He is stubborn in every sense of the word, living up to the main characteristic of a gemini and all their glory, he is never one to give into something he doesn't want.

So I guess it was officially decided that I'm not making him go to group anymore after this meeting. There is no point if he's not benefiting from it, it's hurting him more than its helping him. I'm hurting him more than I'm helping. I'm a horrible mother, this is my fault.

I should have told Shaun to find a different job. I should have found a way to stay in America and not have moved here. I should have helped Troye more in the move and most importantly I shouldn't have ripped him away from Tyler because now they are both suffering.

An hour and a half later Troye comes out of the building with the same somber look on his face that always sits there. Not saying a word as he slips into the passenger's seat. He glares out the window as I pull out of the parking lot and onto the road, watching the trees whip by as I drive us home.

"How was it?" I ask, like I aways do

"It was group, same as always" Troye grumbled

~

"Steele, Tyde, Troye and Sage dinner!" I call up the stairs to them, they are all off doing their own things. Tyde was the first one limbering down the stairs with a gaming system in his hand. It was his brother's of course because I am a firm believer in getting kids these days outside the house and off electronics. When I was younger a cardboard box and a stick could keep my friends and I entertained for hours.