My Step Brother is a Lover©

27-Killing me slowly

27-Killing me slowly

•Lloyd's POV•

It's been a week and this distance is killing me. I fucking miss Lexie so bad and I can't take this anymore. What did I do to deserve this and how the hell did I get so attached to her? I've never felt like this to any girl before, only Lexie. Fuck, I love her. How can I not realize that?!

My chest constricted as I yearn for her and it felt like I couldn't breathe. All I can think about all the time is her. I miss her. Her scent, smile, kisses, everything about Lexie, I'm missing and I hate the feeling of being far away. I never knew it's possible to have this strong connection to one person and I really love her.

I drove back to California cause there's no reason to stay in New York if there's no point of living in Janet's house if it weren't for Lexie. I mean I would miss Wesley and all, but that house just reminds me a lot of her and I can't stand remembering her without seeing or touching her. Damn! I got it bad for that girl.

Since the day I met her, I knew this would happen, that I will completely fall for her one day and I can't do anything about it. Everything about her is just perfect and you can't help but fall for her. I don't blame her ex if he's begging for her. She's irresistible.

I parked my car outside of my house in California and cut the engine, letting out a sigh before pushing my door open. I did cry when she left, but I made a promise to myself that I will get her back and I never break my promises. I just can't live without her and I have to have her. I completely felt empty and numb inside. How can all this happen in a single moment? It feels so surreal, like some kind of nightmare because this can't happen in real life, but then life decided to play with us and thought that this would be a sick joke.

I looked around my house and nothing feels the same, I'm completely a new person since Lexie changed me. I can't take this. Thinking about her makes me feel different kinds of emotions I've never felt before. And right now I'm depressed.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled her number. I waited for her to pick up and when she did, my heart broke as I heard her sob.

"Hello?" She sniffed through the line and I bit my bottom lip, sitting up on my couch. I fucking want to hold her right now, tell her everything would be alright. If I could just teleport myself, I would at this instant. Anything to get me to Lexie.

"Hey babe," I replied, my eyes threatening to cry.

"Lloyd..." I heard her cry out my name and my chest tightened. Just hearing her upset enraged me because I'm supposed to be comforting her, wiping her tears away as she bawled. I shut my eyes slowly and clenched my jaw, calming myself down. "I m-m-miss you," she hiccupped, letting out a shaky breath. I ran my tongue through my chap lips and took in a deep breath.

"I miss you too baby," I whispered in a raspy tone. A tear slid down my left cheek and I swallowed deeply. I've never cried for a girl before but Lexie turned me soft. I pressed my index finger and thumb on my eyes to prevent the tears from coming and I sniffed.

"Are you alright?" She asked concerned but I shook my head. I really want to tell her what I feel but I can't say it out loud, it's like I had a word block and I cannot speak.

"I'm fine, how about you?" I muttered a cuss under my breath as my eyes won't stop tearing up.

"I'm hanging there, but I can't take this Lloyd," another sob came through and I bite on my bottom lip hard. Fuck!

"I know. Don't cry baby," I tried to console her because it's tearing up my soul slowly. How can this separation hurt so bad?! I cannot imagine breaking up with her because I will never get over it for sure and I'm not planning to anyways. She's the only girl for me and nothing will change that fact, not even our parents.

"I'm sorry, it's just so hard..." I gripped on my phone tightly.

"I know," I sighed, taking another deep breath in. Crap! Talking to her is much worst than only missing her. Lexie was crying hard through the other line and it felt like shattered glass was being stabbed through my heart. It hurts that bad.

"So how's mom?" She asked lowly as she sniffed. My brows puckered at the mention of her mom because she's the reason why all this happened and why Lexie is crying right now. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist on my lap, anger brewing inside of me.

"I left," was all I said. I care about Lexie and she's my top priority, but I'm surprised that she's still asking about her mom since Janet literally kicked her out the house.

"What do you mean you left?" She asked in confusion and I let out a breath.

"I packed my bags and left as soon as you left, I'm back in California," I told her then the other line went silent.

"Does she know about your dad and your mom?" She finally asked and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"No, dad hasn't told her yet," I replied and she sighed. I heard a voice in the background but Lexie didn't reply.

"I have to go Lloyd, I'll call you back," she sniffed again and my eyes burned from crying. I can be mistaken as high right now if a police officer asked me.

"Okay. Lexie?" I love you. I chewed on my lip and summoned all my courage to tell her, swallowing deeply.

"Yeah?" She sounded like she was expecting me to say it, my heart raced against my chest and when I opened my mouth to say it, nothing came out.

"I... I really miss you," I chickened out. I mentally knocked myself out for being such a pus$y. Like how hard is it to say it to the person you loved and care about!?

"I really miss you to, I'll call you later, bye," her voice fell and I groaned silently for not saying it out loud. Nice job asshole.

"Bye," I said then the other line beeped. I tossed my phone beside me and ran my palms through my face, groaning out in frustration! "I'm such a fucking coward dumbshit!" I scolded myself, laying my head on the head rest as I regret not telling her. I should've told her.

•Lexie's POV•

I was hoping he would say something more meaningful other than 'I really miss you', but I guess not. It's been a week and everyday is just worst than the day before. I miss him so badly and I can't take the internal pain specially my heart as it felt like it's being squeezed and pulled out of my chest.

I tossed my phone next to me and buried my eyes on my knees, letting out another wave of sob. I haven't stopped crying since day two and also lost my appetite. I thought I was fine when I got here but I had the worst case of home sick that night, even Max didn't know what to do with me and I felt bad for giving him a hard time.

"Lexie?" Speaking of this guy, Max knocked through the opened door but I didn't look up. Yeah, I'm still stuck with him since dad lied, telling me he would go back after three days and till now, he's not back yet, no one is back, not even Joanne, his wife.

"Go away," I cried but of course he didn't listen.

"Lexie," I looked up and he advanced towards me, taking a sit on the bed as he gave me a comforting hug. I gave in and let him hug me as I bawled on his chest. "Shhhhhhhh," Max rubbed my back comfortably as he hushed me down.

"I wanna go home," I said but it was muffled by my sobs.

"You are home Lexie," he whispered, tucking a stray strand behind my ear. I gritted my teeth and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I wanna go back to Lloyd!" I insisted then I felt him froze on the spot. I didn't care if I hurt him at the moment because I only care about myself right now, yes I'm being selfish.

"Shhhhh, it's okay," he assured me but nothing is okay! I haven't eaten a complete meal for days now and I'm starving but I can't seem to force myself to eat.

"It's not okay!" I lashed out, pushing him away from me. Max looked taken a back for a moment and he just looked at me with wide eyes. "Just leave me alone!" I'm having horrible mood swings so it's not good to get on my bad side.

"Lexie," he said my name softly and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Leave me the fuck alone Max." I sneered, tears rolling down my cheeks. He cupped my face in his huge hands as his thumbs run through my cheeks, wiping the tears away.

"Listen to me, I will not leave you alone no matter how hard you ask because first, your dad asked me to watch over you and second, I really care for you Lexie, even though we're not together anymore and even if you don't feel the same, I still love you, just let me help you," he said and my bottom lip quivered.

I have no control over my emotions so I bawled again. My eyes are sore and tired but I can't help it, as bad as I want to stop crying, I can't. Max pulled me in his arms and pressed a kiss on top of my head. I'm probably soaking his shirt with my tears but he didn't seem to mind.

"Let it out," he told me and I hiccupped. My friends tried contacting me for the past days but I just ignored their calls. I cannot talk to them right now. My body feels worn and I have to rest this out or else my eyes will flow out like a dam.

•••

My entire eyes could barely open and I feel the tiredness gnawing down on me. I was laying down on Max's arms who was sleeping too but I pushed myself away, awakening him too.

"Are you okay Lexie?" He asked concerned, turning the lamp by the night table. I nodded and pressed the heels of my palms on my eyes.

Max handed me a bottle of water out of no where and I took it from him, realizing how my mouth was so dry from crying all day and night for four days now and it worn me out. I gulp down half of the bottle and handed it back to him.

"Thanks," I mumbled, lying back down on the bed. I don't remember falling asleep last night, all I remember was talking to Lloyd and crying on Max's arms.

"Are you gonna cry again?" He asked me teasingly and I glared at him, shaking my head. I feel tired and I can't seem to cry any longer. My eyes are sore and my chest hurts.

"No," I mumbled, standing on my feet clumsily.

"Do you want breakfast? you've been sleeping for a while," he told me but I shook my head, making my way to the bathroom. I get that he's looking after me but I don't like it when he treats me like he's my babysitter. I can handle myself, or not, but I don't like Max thinking that I need him.

I looked back at the mirror and my eyes are swollen. I splashed water all over my face and it felt refreshing, patting my face dry after. I walked back out and Max was just lying down there, deep in his thoughts. I didn't bother him and just made my way downstairs and outside the backyard.

The weather was gloomy and depressing and it matched my mood. That's why I don't like London that much anymore. This summer changed me and I wanna stay in America forever. I can't live her since there's too much past and I can't rekindle it. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but I just don't like it here any longer, it feels like a prison.

I scrolled through my contacts and stopped at mom's name, pressing call as I waited. I miss New York, the cabs, the morning traffic, Empire State, specially Lloyd but he apparently moved to Cali now. More distance between us then.

The call went straight to the voicemail and I sighed. I guess mom really disowned me after what I did. I called dad and it also went straight to voicemail, I feel like I'm annoying them but I didn't care. I didn't leave a message for either one of my parents and just sat down on the deck, staring at nothing in particular.

"Why are you here alone?" Max asked concerned but I ignored him. I appreciate him comforting me but that doesn't mean I forgot about what he did to me in the past. "C'mon Lexie, there's gotta be something I could do for you to forgive me," okay, I thought he'll never ask that question. Ever.

"It's not that," I covered up but in reality, I don't like being near him and my dad was stupid for asking him to watch over me. "Besides, I forgave you," I murmured, not looking at him. I lied okay. I can never forgive him. I thought he was the one for me but he just ruined our relationship with that bitch Gretchen, my apparent best friend here in London who cheated with Max.

It was like a slap on the face when I found out that they hooked up and I just can't believe it. Max said that he was drunk and Gretchen took advantage of him, thinking that I was her, blame it on the alcohol, but I'm pretty sure he was on his conscience when they had sex since he was calling out her name. I did love him but that was in the past.

Well I'm over it but I'll never forgive a bastard like him, and thankfully it happened because I will never meet Lloyd, well I would've but I will not fall for him if Max didn't break my heart.

He sighed, taking a sit beside me. I glanced over and he had a mug of coffee in hand as we remained quiet.

"Why do I get the feeling that you still hate me?" He blurted out, I pursed my lips and let in a deep breath.

"Well what you're feeling and what I'm feeling are different," I murmured lowly and he was staring at me as my cheeks were burning holes. All I'm feeling right now is punching him in the face if he never quits talking about our relationship, past may I add.

~
(A/N) I updated late but I have a ton of stuff to do so I'm sorry:( I wrote Lloyd's POV but yeah:P it's awesome okay! and I will post this weekend but other than that! I don't have anything else to say:P C/V/S

SOTC: goodnight goodnight- maroon five:)

xoFranchescaxo