A Careless Man

nine

The pine trees were thick and evergreen, despite the cold weather and white snow on the ground. If he were to look over to his right he'd see the city. Parking lots with moving cars, still buildings with moving people, but over to his left was calm. Bundles and bundles of trees patched together to make a chunk of forestry that gave the hospital a warm feel. The thick pine air, mixed with cold and wet pavement filled Harry's nostrils and it was the first time he's smelt anything besides bleach and sickness. He missed the outside. Even with work he never saw it often.

He was perched on the edge of the hospitals roof, his body sitting still in his wheelchair. He would be able to go home tomorrow, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Don't ask how Harry got up there. After weeks of laying in that god damn bed he had reached the brink of insanity. With the help of his nurse, and the secrecy of the night he was able to push through elevators, and ride around corners. The nurse was only allowing him an hour up here, and what a sweet time it has been.

While picking through his brain he thought of Charlotte, his fiance. Chills ran up his spine in hatred, he thought of Niall, annoyance running through his veins as he recalled the details of him and Anna's date to the movies last night, and then his thoughts landed on her, Anna.

Imagine your mind a deck of cards. Every action, every thought, everything that has made you...you is arranged card by card in a pyramid, and soon it's as tall as the clouds. You're confident in yourself, despite all the good and bad you've done. The pyramid is strong and sways in the wind with just enough happiness and success to make it sparkle. And then someone comes, on a still quiet day, when your pyramid of cards stands tall in the sky, and knocks it down. That's Anna. With her presence she's left Harry doubting all that he his. With her presence she knocked down his cards, and left him to try and build the pyramid back together.

He couldn't understand why her. Why was she the one that makes him feel an attachment, and so early? It boggled his mind, his pyramid of cards scattered along the ground.

"Harry! What the hell are you doing up there?" He wanted to scream. He couldn't believe another thing (this peace and quiet) was ripped to shreds by her. Looking down over the ledge she stood in the parking lot. There was a something in her hand, but due to the dark skies he could barely see her figure.

"Leave me alone." He yelled into the wind, hoping it would reach her.

"How the hell did you get up there!? Stay there I'll be up to help you down."

"No! Don't" Even being this far up he could hear her walking towards the hospital doors.

"You should be in bed. Stay there."

"I said don't fucking come!" But it was to late, she was already inside, his anger no longer reaching her but fading into the night.

Quickly he began to roll his wheelchair back towards the door. The roof was very big, at least the size of 10 football fields, and there was only one door. Urgently, Harry pushed towards the exit on the other side of the roof. His arms weren't used to this much work, and his lungs fought through the cold air that shocked him on the way down his throat. He was getting closer. The winter wind was turning his already pink nose and ears red. He was so close until his wheel collided with dry ice, his chair spun out of control, and like the car accident Harry flew from the protection of his seat.

"You don't like to listen do you?" Her feet padded along the rooftop to reach him. A bag was set down on the ground and Harry growled in pain as he tried to lift himself up.

"I don't need help." He coughed, but there was a cut along his forehead, and the wound on his shoulder freshly opened causing blood to trickle through his long sleeve shirt.

"Yes you do. You can barely walk." Anna's hands grabbed onto his shoulders and he scurried away from her, ignoring the heat that ran through his body.

"I said I don't need your fucking help! You've done enough!" The scream hit her in waves, she shuffled back, and watched him struggle. Harry was nothing but determined, and bossy, and rude among other things. He almost asked for help as he lifted himself to a stance, but then he saw he eyes, and decided against it.

With pain Harry walked / dragged himself to the wheelchair and with many groans and aches he sat himself back down.

"Are you done being an asshole?" She hissed.

"Are you done trying to be the hero?" Harry hissed back.

There was silence and glares, and more silence and stomachs churning. Both of them needed each other, none of them could see it.

"I told you I didn't need your help. Do you do this on purpose?"

"Do what on purpose?" Anna was only getting her dinner from across the street. The two burritos in the brown bag were probably cold on the rooftop ground.

"This. Right now." Harry was livid, he was trying to escape her. He needed to cut ties with a woman he didn't mean to fasten with anyways.

"I don't know what your talking about. I am a doctor. I help people. Why would I leave a patient on the roof of the hospital?"

"You don't get it. Now move." His own self wouldn't let him go. The wheelchairs' tire was stuck in a thick bundle of snow.

"What don't I get?" Anna knew she was nagging him, but with Harry it seemed to be the only way he would speak.

"Your presence it's annoying. You always check up on me when you don't need to, you dress my wounds when they are already healed, you bring me food when it's the nurses job, and yet you go out with Niall. What the hell does that mean?"

"I'm your doctor-"

"Stop bullshitting me!" He screamed. "You're in my head twenty four seven, you're like a fucking leach and I hate it. Get the fuck away from me. I don't want you. I don't need you. Have you forgotten that I'm a doctor as well? I probably have more degrees then you. So, stop seeing me, stop taking care of me, stop doing things that make me go crazy. You're trying to take control from me, you probably get a kick out of knowing you're all I think about, but I've had enough. Leave me alone." After all that yelling he felt exhausted. The words cut through the air, and wrapped around Anna. She felt consumed by them.

"No problem Mr. Styles.I'll refer you to a new doctor, and make sure your recovery is with someone else." She didn't let him insult her anymore before picking up her bag and walking through the door. And she sure as hell wasn't going to cry for him. Anna wasn't that girl. She doesn't cry, she gets angry. She doesn't weep and hide, she figures shit out. Nothing Harry said was false, she liked having control over him, she liked feeling goosebumps on his skin when she'd touch him, she liked the way he'd look at her just a second longer. But most of all she liked the Harry that was witty, listened, and smirked at the right moments. Not this. Not a man who's careless with his words.

So she signed out of work early, made sure all her patients were covered, made sure Harry was with a new doctor and drove across town to see Niall.

III
Although harry's feelings are strong and over whelming, remember that he has a lot of stuff going on, and him not being in control of anything in his life anymore makes all the emotions heightened.
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