Alpha Incorporated

I - iii A THIRSTY EVIL

"Have you guys heard?" Grace initiates the conversation.
 

 Frodo sounds excited. "No, heard what?"
 

 "You mean about Claude Measures?" Pippin seems to be in the loop. The workers lean in to the center of the table, anxious to hear more.

"Claude from Optics?" Gandalf asks.

Pippin throws on a phoney Cockney accent that makes him sounds like a pirate. "Aye, the very Claude from the Optical Division. Doesn't look good for the lad. Got caught with his pants down. Fired, I hear."

Grace Donor plays along. "Pray, do tell then. Well, what did he do?"
 

 "A woman."
 

 There are few chuckles, then Grace asks, "but what was his offence?"

"Groping for trout in a peculiar river," Pippin says.

Lucy can't help herself. "Smells fishy. What river might that be?"
 

"Oh, a certain narrow chasm, but soon to become considerably wider. I hear that it was a spawning run."

Gandalf is the first to figure out what Pippin is talking about. "You mean he got canned for getting someone pregnant?"

"Well, she was his admin assistant."

" Are you sure of this?" Lucy asks.

"I heard that too," Grace says, "that his assistant Juliet is expecting. I had no idea that Claude was a dirty dog like all the others around here."

There are murmurs among the group and it seems to Lucy that the noise level in the bar has increased. The pause gives Lucy enough time to make the connection. She knows the Claude they are talking about. His sister, Isabella, is the new communications intern. Small world, she thinks. Isabella is subletting a room in the apartment Lucy rents in her house. "Actually, I think I saw him in here earlier. He was pretty shit-faced too. I guess that explains things."

Grace Donor sits up straight. "Is this part of the new regime? People getting axed for their personal affairs. It is none of their goddamn business what people do on their own time."

Pippin can't wait to spill more. "That's not all. It's juicier than that. Word is that I.T. seized his computer. Full of all kinds of shit. Heard he was emailing his assistant, asking her to send him pics of her with her fingers in the fish tank, while she was in the office. It gets pretty sticky, because she obliged, apparently. They snatched some pretty hot stuff."

Lucy sees three men approaching, struggling to get through the crowded aisle as the one in the middle appears to be supported by his two friends. She recognizes the inebriated man is Claude Measures. Lucy nods her head toward the staggering trio.

Claude stops in front of their table and tries to stand on his own. "Guys, guys, stop parading me around to the world. I just want to go home and die."

It is Lucy who speaks on behalf of the group at the table. "Claude, Claude Measures! Look at you. What on earth is going on? Is it true what I hear?"

"Hey Lucy." His words are slurred, his head sways as he speaks. "Apparently so. I'm finished."

"But why? How could you let this happen?"

"I guess this is what happens when your manager gives you too much freedom, and a hot assistant." He laughs, then pauses, as though he forgot what he was going to say. Before Lucy fills in the awkward silence, Claude continues, "Maybe it's human nature to not be able to say no? I am like a stinking rat that tastes the poison, yet can't resist the thirst. I don't know what I am talking about. I'm drunk."

"Listen Claude, I don't want to judge—Okay, I do want to judge—what were you thinking? Boning your colleague, sexting at work, getting her pregnant. Have you lost your mind?"

"You don't understand. We had been seeing each other for a long time. It just sort of happened, and before long, we both knew it was right. We are made for each other. We got engaged last year but kept it quiet until Juliet could be transferred to another division. It's not like this wasn't consensual. We got a little playful sometimes at work but, we weren't doing it in the copy room or anything. And now I am fired. With a kid on the way, and Juliet—who knows what will happen to her?"

Lucy feels pity for Claude. Before her is a man, head shaved bald, thick beard, dishevelled sports jacket. He can hardly stand up, his speech is slurred and barely comprehensible, yet she knows he is speaking from his heart. He is certainly beyond taking care of himself tonight, and Lucy isn't about to offer to help. She doesn't really know the guy that well, and doesn't want to get involved in his mess. But still, she feels his pain.

"Listen, if there is anything I can do, let me know OK? Call me at the office on Monday. Maybe I can somehow get your case heard higher up. I have a few contacts in Duke's office you know. Now, let your pals take you home."

Claude looks at a spot over Lucy's shoulder and garbles, "I tried already. Vincent Duke is done. Gone, Gonzo, Gandhi, Gonorrhea You know the new CEO at all? Angelo Whatshisname?"

"Lord," Lucy says. "Angelo Lord."

"Lord, help us." Claude laughs, then, after a pause, asks Lucy, "Isabella, can you tell my sister? She lives in your building. You know her, don't you? They took my phone too."

"Claude, what am I supposed to say to her? Tell her that you are too drunk to talk to her yourself? That you knocked up your secretary?"

"Please, just see if you can talk her into pleading my case with this Lord Angelo guy. Isabella is young and pretty, I bet you anything that she will move him. I know how guys think, he will make time to talk to her."

Lucy looks at the others at the table. They are staring at her, awaiting her response. She knows that they are wondering if she will help this poor man, one of them, or is she going to pull the senior management card and wash her hands of the whole affair.

She sighs. "Ok, I'll drop by her apartment tonight and see if she is home. Maybe chat over a glass of wine. Now you go get some sleep!"