Popular Outsiders

That Was A Lie

"It's called life."

"So I'm not even a friend?"

"You will never mean a thing to me ever again."

With that, I stomped away.

'You will never mean a thing to me ever again.' My selfish, bully reputation is on the line already because of Calvin. I won't let it dissolve because of Jesse. I've worked hard for it, I thought stubbornly.

But that was a lie. Jesse had been my only true friend. I should have known it wouldn't end like I hoped. Nothing was easy for me recently.

I should have at least guessed something wouldn't go my way. Mom always had said, and I'm sure someone has told you the same, that lies only grow until they over flow and explode.

~

"Look, I know you said you'd prove all outsiders aren't useless, but why are we at the freaking cemetery of all places?" I hissed.

"Follow me," he said, and I did.

We walked past so many tombstones. So many. So many deaths. So many people... just gone. I never could fully understand death.

How is it possible for a person to just die? They just disappear? Eventually they're forgotten? Why? What's the point?!

I bumped into Clavin when he stopped. I stepped back, narrowing my eyes at him like it was his fault, though I knew I was the one who hadn't been paying attention.

I turned and read the tombstone:

Preston Tait

Beloved Son

Born: August 10, 1995

Died: August 10, 2012

"Is he...related to you?" I murmured.

"He went to our school," stated Calvin, staring intently at me.

"Oh," I mumbled, beginning to deeply regret not knowing who Preston Tait was.

"Preston was an outsider," Calvin explained, his gaze on the tombstone now. "He was bullied by Will's older brother, Jonathan. Jon told him no one would care if he died, and after that the bullying only worsened until the point of where Preston committed..."-Calvin's looked away from the tombstone at the ground next to it-"His mom, who was fighting brain cancer, went to the funeral. His dad had died when he was young. There were more outsiders from school there than his entire family."

I gulped, speechless.

My eyes stayed glued to the tombstone as Calvin cleared his throat and said, "We should go to the next place. I'm done. don't worry, the next one's not quite as sad."

~

I stared at our school library. Calvin didn't answer. He just walked inside. after a hesitant moment, I followed. What I saw really took me by surprise.

The library was packed. All of the kids were studying. Most I didn't know, but some I knew because I'd bullied them before.

"Fridays and Mondays we meet up to help each other with school," Calvin said, grinning, "On Fridays after school, we go down to the beach. So, today? You free?"

I'd never been invited anywhere since Jesse left. I went to his birthdays and house all the time, but that was before.

I smiled at Calvin and nodded eagerly.

"Calvin!" cheered a little girl's voice and Caroline came racing up.

Wait-what?!

"Carrie, ssshh. we're in a library," whispered Calvin and Caroline nodded. Calvin picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck before waving at me.

"You going to help them too? Sometimes they help me with my school stuff when I don't get it," Caroline whispered excitedly.

Caroline grinned ear-to-ear. Her smile made mine grow. She and Calvin never stopped surprising me, especially today.

~

"II'll admit one thing," said Calvin, holding Caroline's hand as we walked out of the library. "I did not think you would help they very kids you picked on. You aren't absolutely terrible, but you still have to prove how bullies are even a tiny but terrible."

"That they're just hurting?"

I spun around 360 degrees while Calvin only looked back over his shoulder. Caroline turned around, though not as fast as me.

I stared at Jesse. "What do you want? Why are you here?"

Jesse held up a duffel bag. "Sports. I'm joining the cross country team, though it's late. You?"

"Uh-u-uh-um-I..." I cleared my throat. "It's called tutoring."

Jesse gave me a small smile for a short second. "Well, see you on Monday, I guess." He walked away.

Calvin turned to me. "So, where are we going?"

I caught Jesse glancing back at us with a furrowed brow from the corner of my eye, but I pretended to not notice.

"The cemetery," I answered, and Calvin's eyebrows raised.

~

I stopped in front of a tombstone that read:

Victoria Gilbert

Beloved daughter, wife, and mother.

Born: July 21, 1968

Murdered: January 1989

Murdered. They put it on the tombstone to remind everyone. The 50 Killer, my father, murdered this 21 year old mother. Her son had been only a year and she'd been married to the man for two years.

Her parents were part of one of the families that made my mom and I suffer by ridiculing us on their interviews like we had helped my dad kill their daughter. I wan't even born yet when my dad killed her, my birthday being in 1997.

Caroline tugged on Calvin's sleeve. "It's scary here," she called to him in a whisper.

"One second, Carrie," said Calvin then he let go of his sister, who grabbed into his stud belt. Calvin walked up to my side and remained silent as he looked down at the tombstone.

"My dad killed her." I finally said. "They weren't even sure if the exact date because he'd kidnapped her and they found her two months later. They knew January, but not the exact day in January. It's all his fu-" I knew Caroline was listening-"his fault. When I was young, reporters would chase after me thinking I knew something because they were too ignorant to realize that I wasn't born when it happened and my mom wasn't about to tell me all about the things that my dad had done. But, thanks to those reporters I'm great at escaping. It was the only way to get them to leave me alone was to disappear before they caught me and surrounded me."

Suddenly I burst into tears. I'd cried in front of Jesse plenty of times and had never imagined crying in front of anyone else. And yet, there I was, sobbing to the point of where my entire body shook violently and I fell to my knees. In front of Calvin Eaton of all people.

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