I Meant It When I Said, 'I Do.'

I Meant It When I Said, 'I Do.' - FINAL CHAPTER

"I have to go," anito't tumalikod.

"Hindi mo ba ako narinig?" may desperasyon sa tinig niya.

Natigilan ulit ito sa paghakbang.

"I meant it when I said I do," aniyang pigil-pigil ang paggaralgal ng tinig.

"Why are you doing this Earl? Why do you always touch where it hurts me most? Nasasaktan ako! " Nanginginig ang labi nito sa pagpipigil ng emosyon. There is so much pain in her eyes that is tearing his own heart apart. "So please, let's end this. Alam ko na ang lahat. I knew why you married me! I knew it from the very start. Dahil gusto mong makaganti. Dahil gusto mong araw-araw akong makitang nasasaktan. Dahil gusto mong araw-araw kong pagdusahan ang kasalanan ko sa'yo..."

"Nagtagumpay ka naman, di ba? Araw-araw kong pinagbabayaran ang lahat ng sakit na naramdaman mo noon. Lahat-lahat! Ang masakit, ang tanging kasalanan ko lang ay minahal kita ng sobra-sobra!" 

Hindi makapaniwalang napatitig siya sa asawa.

"Yes, from the very first time I saw you, I loved you. At dahil sa pag-ibig na iyan kung bakit pinili kong iwanan ka. Dahil ayokong masaktan ka. Dahil mas matitiis kong ako ang masaktan kaysa ikaw! But I'm tired of hurting, Earl. I just want to let go..."

"..I know you'll be better off without me. So please, stop saying things that could break me because I'm already broken. I can't stand being with you anymore. Ang hirap mong mahalin, Earl. Ayoko na."

"Veronica -"

"Save it. I don't want to hear any of those lies anymore."

"But I meant what I said. I-"

"I don't believe it!" anitong umiling-iling. "I don't want to believe it," mariing sabi nito. "I just want to forget you. All my life all I did was love you and I just want to stop. Pagod na pagod na ako. And I won't let you ever hurt me again." Humihikbing sabi nito saka mabilis na pinihit ang seradura ng pinto at patakbong tinungo ang elevator.

It was like his first heartbreak. Para siyang nawalan ng lakas. Naramdaman niya ang mainit na likidong pumatak sa pisngi ngunit hinayaan niya iyon. Gusto niyang tumakbo at pigilan ito. Ngunit ramdam niya ang pinalidad sa boses nito. She might have loved him... but now, she doesn't want him anymore.

He remembered that day she told him she didn't love him. He was so blinded by his pain that he didn't see her own heart breaking. Bakit nga ba hindi niya naisip? Veronica loved him so much. He could feel it everytime he looks in her eyes. How could he miss that?

Mabigat ang pang tinungo niya ang silid nila. Nasa kama ang singsing at tiara nito. Tila hindi niya makakayanan ang sakit sa dibdib. Nahagip ng tingin niya ang sketch pad sa bedside table nito. Wala sa loob na binuksan niya iyon. Halos mapuno iyon ng sketches ng mukha niya.

Napasuntok siya sa pader. For the second time in his life he felt like he's dying with the pain from his broken heart. He found himself screaming his wife's name. One thing was sure, he will never heal.

Nag-iimpake si Veronica sa mga gamit nila ng Daddy niya.

"Are you sure about this, hija?"

"Yes, Dad," aniyang pilit ngumiti. "I'm sure we'll be okay when we get back to the States. Mas gagaling kayo doon. At mas magiging maganda ang buhay natin."

"I sure will support you hija.. But someone wants to see you before you make any decision."

"If it's-"

"It's not Earl."

Takang napatingin siya sa ama.

"She's waiting at the living room."