Bite Me

The Master Plan

Bart nods his head slowly. “I like it!”

“I don’t.” Charles mumbles.

I roll my eyes. “I didn’t ask you for your opinion, so shut up.”

“Your so mean to me!” He cries in fake hurt.

“I do try.” I smirk and he scowls playfully at me.

Bart sprawls out onto the couch, his head on my lap. “So is that the master plan then?”

I nod my head proudly. “It is, idiotic sir.”

“That’s dumb sir to you.”

“Dumb sir.” I repeat, rolling my eyes while Charles swings an arm over me. “Edward, did you call Anna yet? And ask her out?” I waggle my eyebrows.

Edward freezes and goes stiff. “Mom and dad said we cant be in a relationship while their trying to pick the next ruler.”

“Does it look like we’re following those rules?” I motion between Charles, me, Nell, and Clinton. He shakes his head. “That’s what I thought. Did you call her?”

He sighs and his shoulders slump. “No.” He sounds as if he were getting scolded by his mother.

“Well then, we shall call her right now.” I grab the phone. “What’s her number?”

His eyes widen. “Are you crazy! Give me that!” He swoops for the phone, but I duck and jump off the couch, leaving Bart’s head to fall onto the couch. Bart quickly get’s back up and gives me Anna’s number.

I grin at Bart. “Thanks!” I dial the number in while Edward continues to try, and fail, at grabbing the phone.

“Hello? Anna speaking.”

Edward freezes and puts his ear up to the phone, now listening to our conversation. His brothers watch us with amused eyes as I talk to Anna. “Hi Anna, my name’s Nora. You know Edward right?”

“Yeah,” She laughs, “I do.”

“Well, I’m dating his brother Charles and I’m a friend of his.”

“Really? That’s great!” She giggles.

“I know. Oh look at that!” I gasp. “Edward’s here! Talk to him!” I shove the phone into Edward’s hand, and run back to my seat.

He blinks a few times before he realized what I did. He scowls at me while he talks to Anna. “Hey Anna. Good to talk to you too. Yep. Not really. Well, I was wondering, if you wanted to go out Saturday night?” He paces back and forth, running a hand through his hair.

My face turns into those oh-my-god-this-is-so-adorable-you-just-want-to-hug-them faces, and I quietly say, “Aww!”

I guess I didn’t say it quietly enough because Edward scowls at me, but then his whole face lights up. “Really? Sure! I’ll pick you up at eight? Great. Bye!” He hangs the phone up, then wraps me in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

I laugh and hug him back. “I told you you’d get your Bella! Oh I’m gonna have so much fun with this. Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree…Oh wait! You two can watch the whole marathon of the Twilight series! And for your anniversary I’m so getting you the huge poster of Jacob, the poster without a shirt!”

He pulls away from the hug. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh I so would. And will.”

He groans and flops onto the couch. “Your evil, Nora.”

“It’s a talent, I tell you.”

Charles laughs at us and again swings an arm over my shoulder. Bart grins. “I’m gonna show her baby pictures of you when you were little! In the bathtub!” Edward groans again.

I cock an eyebrow. “You have pictures like that?”

“Charles too.” Bart nods.

My whole face lights up. “Really? I wanna see what he looked like when he was little!”

“Oh, he was a chubby one, alright-”

“I was not, Bart!” Charles scowls at his little brother. “She’s not seeing a picture of me when I was little.”

“How bout I show you a picture from when I was little and in high school?”

“Done.” He answers without hesitation.

Clinton scoffs. “He just wants to see how hot you were when you were in high school.”

“No!” He cries in protest.

Nell nods. “You were hot, Nora.”

I roll my eyes and scroll down my pictures in my phone. The first one is when I was 10, me and Nell are eating ice cream with huge grins on our faces. The ice cream is splattered everywhere because we were fighting over who got chocolate and who got vanilla. “Here.”

Everybody crowds around me, including Nell. A warm smile spreads across her face. “I remember this. Mom took it.” I nod.

Henry smiles too. “You were cute when you were little.”

“Alright get to the hot high school picture.” Bart snaps his fingers while Charles scowls at him. I giggle and scroll down to my junior year picture.

My hair was curled that day, and I had on a tight fitting shirt with jeans that shaped my body perfectly. I was hanging out with the football team, two of them with their arm hanging over my shoulder. We’re all grinning into the camera, while I give the two bunny ears.

“Damn, Nora!” Henry whistles. I frown and study the picture more. I don’t look that good.

“Yes you do!” Clinton protests my mind while Nell slaps his arm.

“I hate mind reading abilities.” I mutter and glare at him.

I glance at Charles who’s staring at the picture. “Who are those two?” I detect a tone of jealousy, but I ignore it.

A warm smile spreads across my face. “Mickey and Sal. Nicest two on the team.” A laugh bubbles up in my throat. “We sang that song Hey Mickey every birthday for him.”

“HEY MICKEY, YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND, HEY MICKEY!” Bart sings, jumping of the couch and doing some club dance. “HEY MICKEY, YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND, HEY MICKEY!”

Charles stares at his club dancing brother. “He’s got problems.”

“IT’S GUYS LIKE YOU MICKEY!” He sings in a high girly voice. “OH WHAT YOU DO, DO MICKEY, DON’T BREAK MY HEART MICKEY!”

I giggle. What Bart doesn’t know is that I’m recording this with my phone. He keeps on singing and dancing until the song is over, then his eyes land on my phone. His mouth drops. “NO! DON’T RECORD THAT! I WASN’T DECENT!”

I burst out laughing and duck under his grab. “That was so funny!”

“IT WAS NOT!” He shrieks, chasing me around the table. I just laugh in response. He gets tired, then waves me off. “I’ll get ya. Yep. Probably. Maybe. Soon. Probably not. Nope.” He pants, sliding back onto the couch.

I laugh again. “Your so lazy for a vampire.”

“I’m not lazy.” He mumbles.

“Right.” I roll my eyes. “So tomorrow I’ll tape a note to a tree outside?”

Charles snakes his arms around me. “I’m coming with you. When I told you I was never leaving your side ever again, I meant it.”

I pat his head. “That’s fine. It’s settled then.” I nod my head. “Hey Mickey, your so find you blow my mind…”

“STOP EMBARASSING ME!” Bart screams into a pillow, covering his ears with his hands. “If you show that on the internet, I’ll never be able to show my face in stores ever again!”

“Nobody wants to see your ugly face anyways.” Henry snorts.

Bart takes his face out of the pillow and pouts. “Mom said that I was the handsomest out of all of you.”

“Well she lied.”

“Hey!”