Luke
When I was eight my great grandfather died, it was hard for everyone but much worse for me as he had been my best friend. I would stay over at his house and we would go fishing or he would tell me stories about my family and that was all I ever wanted to do. When he died I didn't think that I would ever feel that pain again.
Turns out I was wrong, so very wrong.
My mothers fingers were still intertwined with dads while she flat lined, and he didn't let go even when the doctors were trying to force us out of the way so they could try to save her, but it was too late she was already gone. Everything felt like a movie, like it was in slow motion. My vision was blurry and my heart rate increased as I fell to my knees on the floor all I could feel was my heart pounding in my chest and the only thing I could hear was a constant fucking ringing in my ears.
Was it really my mother dying here or was it me?
Watching my dad and brothers crying over her lifeless cold body a few days later was probably worse than watching her die, the pain and sadness filled the room and it felt like I was suffocating, I just wanted to get away from all of the stupid fucking people asking me if I was alright, if there was anything they could do to help me. Did it look like I was alright? My mother is dead for fucks sake, are they all high or something?
I quickly make my way to the door of the funeral home, I hear my dad yelling for me to come back but I ignore him and quicken my pace until I'm outside and finally able to breath again.
I wanted to wake up and have this all just be a dream, a sick fucking sadistic dream. My mom was fine, she beat this once she can do it again!
Oh god I needed to get my shit together, I didn't want Emily to see me like this when she showed up that would only make her run from me when I need her here with me more than anything.
I try hard to push the crazy out of my mind for now, I can go insane when I'm alone in my room later for now I needed to act like the grown adult I am before someone decides to put me in the fucking bsu, not saying I would blame them though.
I'm losing my marbles.
Idk what this is but I finally broke my writers block so here's an update I hope no one hates me too much!
