I'll Be Your Batman

Chapter 24: I Need Him

"No." I shake my head.

"No?" Stiles asks.

I lick my lips and avert my gaze. I think for several minutes before I say anything. I stand and walk to Stiles' window, looking out.

"I know you get this." I pause. "I know you want to be there for me, but I can't let you." I shake my head slowly.

"De-" Stiles starts.

"Stiles." I whisper. A single tear roles down my cheek, but my back is still turned away from Stiles.

"I love you. And that's exactly why I won't let you do this."

"It's my choice!" He yells.

"No, it's not." I whisper.

"Derek! Don't you get it? I do, but do you? You'll kill yourself Derek!"

"I don't-"

"Don't! Don't you dare say you don't care! If you love me then you should care about us, and about yourself!"

"I do care about us, that's why I'm saying no."

"Derek." Stiles' voice turns soft. "If you do this alone, there won't be an us." He's sobbing now and I still haven't turned around. I'm leaning on his window seal, hands gripping the bottom of it, squeezing so tight I break the wood, with a loud crack.

"You have to trust me." I say.

"You have to trust me, Derek!" He screams. "Trust me! Trust that I know what I'm saying, I know what I'm risking! Look at me!"

The room is deafeningly quiet.

"Derek, if you do this, this is it for us. No more, ever."

I close my eyes and turn to him. His eyes are bloodshot and his tear stained cheeks are crimson.

"If it keeps you alive, then okay. I will keep you safe." I start to climb out the window.

"Go! Go then! You self conceded bastard!" He comes and hits me in the chest, meaningless, painless slaps of the pain he is feeling inside. I pause.

"Just go!" He's sobbing uncontrollably and I climb out.

"I hate you!" He screams from the window, as I'm sprinting away. I'm shifting, running hard.

I'm in the woods and I'm hurting. I trip on a branch, falling to the ground. My face is in the dirt and I yell. My heart and head hurts, and I grip my chest in pain. My yell goes into a roar. I scream and scream, this is the worst emotional and physical pain I have ever felt.

Then something starts to happen to me, something that never has.

I hear my family's howls close by, telling me that they are coming. I let out another howl, it's like I can't control it. All of the heartbreak, the pain, it's all erupting. Everything from the past five months is coming to a boil.

My body feels like it's breaking and though I can't hear it over the sounds of my screaming and sobbing, I can feel my bones cracking in pieces.

I don't even hear footsteps until I hear my mom shouting.

"Derek!" I don't respond and I haven't stopped screaming. It's like I can't, even more than the pain of my body is the pain of my heart.

"What happened? Can you speak?"

I can't say anything. Can't tell her what happened with Stiles, can't explain what is going on inside of me, and it's getting worse.

"Oh my god. Steven? It can't be. . . can it?" My mother says in a panic.