Hug him and tell him how much I love him. Only to be answered by another scream or whine. It was a bad dream.
Key gave him his shots, but it didn't work. We didn't know what to do. I was loosing him. I can hear Jonghyun talking with someone on the phone; how can he talk by the phone when my Tae is like this? He suddenly entered the bathroom, looking pale and more than scared.
"We need to—"
"Hyung..." I looked down to see Taemin's pale face, his tears fell unwittingly. "I-I can't..."
I didn't know what to say or react. "You can't what?"
"I can-can't breathe..."
His breathing lowered exaggeratedly. He tried to get air into his lungs, but it wasn't possible. All his body's weight fell on my body, when I looked at him again, his eyes were closing slowly.
"Tae, don't fall asleep. Taemin don't" I shook him in attempt to wake him up.
"But Hyung... I'm tired.."
"I don't care, just don't close your eyes!" I felt my own tears wetting his brunette hair.
"Hyung..."
His eyes closed, his breathing was too low and his heartbeat didn't match mine. I'm loosing him. Fuck, I'm loosing him and I can't do anything!
"Jonghyun! He isn't awake! Key! What do I do?!" I started crying frantically.
"Let's go! I called Onew and he's at the hospital waiting for us! Key is already in the car. You need to move!!"
Everything after we got in the car and arrived to the hospital was a blur. I'm not complaining...
***
"He got a surgery and was in a coma for three days, is that correct?"
"Yes" I said. I looked over Taemin and he wasn't even paying attention. He just keep staring at his hands and how his sad eyes met mine, it killed me inside. With just one look he told me everything.
'I don't want to be here'
"What the doctors said?" The man with a black suit asked.
"The bit itself was high risk, and Taemin being allergic made it worse. He was also ill, which was a disgrace and that made the poison to take effect faster." Onew said, answering the question.
"And for what was the surgery?"
"For his hand, it was swollen and damaged from the bite." Key answered. Right now, I completely understood how Taemin feels. I also don't want to be here.
"Dear TV viewers! This was the last of SHINee's interview! Hopefully we'll see each other again next week!"
***
"I can't believe you made me hear all of it!" Taemin yelled to the manager.
"It's not my fault he asked about it and you also need to get over it! It was three year ago, Taemin!" The manager yelled back. Tae was at the verge of tears and he was red. He was angry, completely angry. And when he's angry he's scary.
"Fuck all of you." He muttered and stormed out of the room.
"Lee Taemin—"
"I'll go." I said as I stood up and ran to where he went. His room.
His room is considered his hiding place. Its where he goes whenever he is mad or sad, or whenever something bothers him. It's his own little world where no one can hurt him. When he's like this, no one dares to walk in. He would kick you out or curse your mother's name. He'll do whatever is necessary for you to leave.
It doesn't work with me.
"Taemin open the door" I stood still leaning on the wall.
"Fuck off!"
"Taemin-ah. Don't be like this, open the door." I heard when he stood up and walked towards the door. He unlocked the door, but never opened it. A small smile made its way to my lips. How stubborn, Taemin. I opened it and walked in, I stopped in the door frame. I looked to my right and there he was, on the floor with his knees pressed against his chest, with those puppy eyes staring at me. I closed the door behind me and sat next to him, his eyes following my every move.
I looked at him, how his eyes filled with tears, threatening to fall by his cheeks. He was trying so hard to hold back the sobs, to not cry in-front of me. I knew he hated when people saw him cry. But he didn't need to worry because I didn't mind.
"Taemin-ah..." He looked down and I knew those tears started to fall. Quietly sobbing in that corner, trying to hide from the world. I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around him, he quickly hold me back, not giving a shit anymore if I was there when he cried. He cried on my shoulder, saying things I couldn't understand, blaming himself for every thing that happened. "Don't do this. It's hard for me to see you like this."
"But I don't like it. I hate I can't remember and people have to remind me every time!" His body was shaking, I held him tighter, trying to calm him down.
"I hate to remember too, baby. But we can't keep hiding."
"But Hyung!"
"Almost. I almost lost you. But you are with me now. That's the only thing that matters. And knowing that I almost lost you made me realize how much I need you. So I won't let you blame yourself, okay?" He didn't say anything, but nodded.
"Promise me something, Hyung."
"Yes?"
"Don't remind me again how you almost lost me. Please." I chuckled.
"I won't. I promise."
I fucking love Hoops and YoYo
Almost
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