Marc Bartra Imagines

Faded

*Been a while since I updated.*

Alan Walker- Faded     

  You were the shadow to my light
Did you feel us?
Another start
You fade away
Afraid our aim is out of sight
Wanna see us
Alive
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Was it all in my fantasy?
Where are you now?
Were you only imaginary?

Some things were just to good to be something that had happened to me.  

Surely I didn't get into my dream college.  

I didn't have a good job that made me almost not need to worry about money.

My parents were okay, alive, and making sure I knew that they loved me and supported me in every single way. 

The only thing I did have was my boyfriend, but he was to good to be true.  I stared blankly at the white wall in front of my counter, sometimes I couldn't even imagine how life must be so good for other people. 

I had it good for a while but I guess good just isn't for me. Don't worry about me, I have accepted that maybe I am one of those people that can make it on there own. 

But I don't want to be alone. 

  The monsters running wild inside of me
I'm faded
I'm faded
So lost, I'm faded
I'm faded
So lost, I'm faded

So lost I'm faded. 

Standing in the middle of that party last Friday. 

It had been a week since the stupid break up.  I still couldn't bear the thought of him.  Past boyfriends had done worse to me, why did he mean more?  It was probably going to get worse, this last boyfriend was famous, I would have to deal with paparazzi and tabloids. 

I didn't know how I felt about the break up, I'm glad that he showed his true colors before we got into anything more serious.  I was always glad about things like that, looking at how much someone could have hurt me in the future compared to how much they hurt me now. 

What if we had been married when he cheated on me?

What if I had moved in with him and didn't have anywhere to go after he cheated on me?

What if I hadn't fallen in love with him? Maybe it would've hurt a whole lot less. 

  These shallow waters, never met
What I needed

Did he really give me everything I needed? 

I don't know, but I need to change that god damn song before I end up a crazed, homeless old lady.  

I need to get my life together again, not everything revolved around him!

Just the fact that he helped me get into my dream college, helped me get my job, helped me settle into my new home, and helped me past my parents death. 

Yeah, I could live without him. 

I hope.

I reached over to my phone and unplugged the speaker from it.  The music automatically paused, and the room fell into silence. 

Silence.  We always used to lay in silence, just playing with each other's hair, sometimes on that very couch in front of me.

I fought back the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks, I couldn't cry now, if I cried now, everything from the past few years would show up again.