Chapter 29

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What the fuck is going on in her life?

At that exact moment, I wasn't able to think anymore. I wasn't able to imagine what a mess Aria's life must be right now, and I didn't have a single idea how I had to react to this. Aria was staring in front of her, salty tears running down her cheek while her arms were wrapped around her knees. It was silent for a moment, neither Aria or me knew what to say. The room was filled with loud sobs while I was figuring out what to say.

"Aria.." I began, but if course, the girl did not respond. "Aria, what does Nelly mean?" I asked, and suddenly Aria's head shot towards me.

"What do you think" she sobbed and wiped away a tear. I sat down next to Aria and brushed a stray piece out of her face.

"Aria, what did he do to you?" I wishpered and took her hand, but she gently declined my gesture.

"Oh Ezra, you don't want to know" Aria stated

"I do, I actually do want to know"

"I think you can connect the dots yourself Ezra, you don't need to hear it from me" Aria said and looked back at me with pain carved on her face. After that it was silent for a while. I didn't know what to say. Of course I knew what happened, it all makes sense now. The bruises, the cuts, the burn marks, it all comes together.

"Aria?" I spoke after a while of silence with uncomfortable tension.

"What's wrong this time" she asked in an annoyed voice. It was silent after that for a few seconds, I had absolutely no idea how to ask someone something like this.

"What.." "What meant Nelly when she talked about a divorce?" I said and Aria's head turned towards mine again.

"Oh Ezra, I thought you were smarter. You really have no idea, have you?" She asked and let a hysterical laugh

"Aria, this is not the time for jokes"

"It isn't that hard though"

"Aria, why is she talking about a divorce?!" I asked, I was done with her shutting me out all over again.

"Do I really have to explain this?!" She said, starting to get a little frustrated

"Aria, are you really married with him, with Noel?!" I asked and Aria just laughed.

"Well that took you long enough"

"Did he do this to you? Did he do this against your will?"

"No shit sherlock, of course it was against my will, I'm fucking sixteen years old!" Aria suddenly yelled at me. I guess this was the breaking point. This was the point something snapped inside her.

"But why did you keep this to yourself? I want to help you Aria, I want to be here for you" I said and tried to calm her, but she didn't.

"Well I'm sorry I didn't tell you Romeo!" Aria yelled and stood up from the bed.

"Aria, Aria calm down"

"No! I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my fucked up life! Sorry I dragged you into this! God, how could I even think I could escape this mess for one second! How could I even think I could be happy, ever again! I'm sorry okay!" She yelled and before I knew it the girl stood up and rushed towards the door.

"Aria! Don't go! Please don't go, just wait please! I didn't mean to upset you!" I said as I rushed towards her and grabbed her arm. "Please, I didn't mean it to you.." I spoke and she looked me in my eyes

"Then why did you do this, Ezra? Why do you want to know every fucking detail about this?! I don't even understand this myself so how the fuck do you think I can explain this to you?!"

"Aria, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that! I just can't understand what a fucking asshole he must be for being ao selfish! I can't understand a single thing about that and I want to punch him in the face as soon as I see him!" I said a little bit calmer now, and I saw Aria was calming down aswell. "Just stay with me, please" I begged and Aria nodded. She walked towards my bed where she curled herself up in the blanket while I finished washing the dishes before I snuggled in bed next to her and without wanting it, fell in a deep slumber.

When I woke up later on the day, I immediately noticed the warm, tiny body next to me was gone. 'Must have gone to the toitlet' I thought, but who was I fooling? Myself? I turned around and saw a little note folded up on her pillow.

I'm gone. And I won't come back. My days with you were an emotional rollercoaster, we were going up and down. Like I said before, I'm not able to live in that constant insecurity. You and Natalia did a good job though, I'm not trying to kill myself every second of the day anymore. But it is killing me to see you like this. I promise you, when you read this, I'm not dead. Yet. But then again, you have to promise me you won't go after me because Ezra, I don't want to be found. I will look back at the smiley you drew on my arm and think of you, but that smiley will fade eventually, just like your memories of me. I know you will be mad at me at first, but in a few years from now you will have your dreamgirl, a big house and two nice baby boys. You will realize we were nothing but a promise meant to be broken. Maybe I'll see you again, maybe I have built a family too in a few years, maybe we won't. I'm sorry it had to be this way, and thank you for all you've done for me.

I'm just no good for you, I don't even know how to love

~ Aria

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