Keep Running (Killjoy)

17

P.P.'s POV:
A week had passed since the incident with Korse and I was just released from medical attention. The first thought on my mind was to check up on Destroya and, luckily, her nurse let me into her room. My mind was racing as she opened the door for me at much too leisurely of a speed.

My eyes caught sight of the girl that saved my life, lying limply on the makeshift bed. Her hair was no longer metallic silver-blue but was more of a dull mix of blue and her natural dark brown. She seemed so lifeless with her eyes shut and her skin colored practically gray. Tubes were attached around her wound, only visible since they covered only half of her torso for easy access to the shot. It was now cleaned up a bit and didn't look as gorey as it had in the car when she was driving. There was (obviously) a bandage stuck over it as well.

"She'll be awake soon, the anesthetic should wear off in about five minutes." The nurse said from the doorway.

"Thanks."

I sat down on the small stool beside her bed and held her hand, the only thing I could think of doing that was appropriate for the situation. My hand drew back slightly in surprise at how low the temperature of her skin was. All of her conditions added to the worry in my mind that she wasn't getting any better. Fear that she was dying crept into my head. It was so stupid to think like that, but there was nothing to do about wild-running thoughts. The one thing convincing me that she was okay was the even beeping of the heart monitor.

A few motions of her arm signalled that Destroya had come out of her unconscious state and she immediately opened her stormy eyes.

My voice was more breathy than I expected- "Hey Destroya."

"Hi Gerard." She murmured weakly and smiled.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm kind of drowsy right now, but pretty good. You?"

"Better."

"Why would that be?"

"They released me today so I can hang around you instead of sit around my room all day."

"Hate to break you two up right now, but the doctor said he'll check your condition and figure out when you'll be ready to go." The nurse piped up from the door.

"Oh, okay." Destroya agreed, "So, I've just remembered the thing Dr. D told me earlier. And I think we shou-"

"Good," I sighed in relief, "We don't have to listen to everything he says because they're our own lives."

"No, Gerard, that's not what I was going to say. Look at us: you just got out of medical care and I'm sitting here with a wound that hasn't healed yet. We should be careful and it's hard when both of us have such crazy lives. Dr. D was just looking after us and he might be right." She corrected.

Pain tightened my chest as my heart dropped down to the floor. I had no idea why she was thinking in such a negative way. It actually hurt more than I would've liked to admit.

"B-but, we'll be okay. This was just one time, and you saved me. I could've died out there!" My volume increased dramatically.

"Gerard, that's my point. We both could have died and I wouldn't know what to do if you got hurt this badly again."

"And I'm still scared for you, so the two of us can protect each other."

"At what cost? One of our lives? We can't risk that and the best way to stay on the safe side would be to let this go for now."

"Then promise me you won't let me go. And I'll return the promise to you." I stared seriously into her sorrow-filled eyes.

Her mouth opened to reply, but she began to tremble at the pulsating pain in her muscles then laid down completely on her back. She had knit brows from the nerves and tightly shut out the world from her view. The nurse rushed to her side and reached for a tool on the side table. I cringed at the shot-giving needle the nurse brought up to Destroya's arm and injected into her. Her tense body eased up as her consciousness faded away and she was able to relax from not feeling as much pain.

The nurse turned to me, "Don't try to put stress on her. That's what happens. I'm sorry for not warning you before. That was my bad."

Finding no reason to stay in the room, I went back to my actual bedroom. It was cold from lack of human contact and was actually welcoming with all of the personal items thrown around. My body collapsed onto the bed as I tried to sleep, not wanting to stay awake much longer or I'd end up feeling sorry for myself. The last time that happened, I relapsed with my addiction and it was hard to come clean again. My group mates would be so disappointed in me. Hopefully, a nap and being alone could bring me back to myself. Frank would make fun of me at first then give me crappy advice. The other two weren't good at giving advice either, so talking to anyone could only lead to self-pity.

So I drowned out the world in the one way I knew how without causing any problems. It was the same way all of the injured or infected patients managed to escape their pain and improve their well-being. That's what I seemed to be now- a weakened patient that needed to find a way to get better for all of the people who would be concerned. But there was always a bit of fire in my heart; I wouldn't give up so easily. Especially not with something I cared so much about. Destroya's recent thoughts would definitely be respected, but I was not going to follow along with them. It just meant that I'd have to protect her with my life.