Enigma || jerrie ✔︎

part 46 - toxic

 "Stars," Perrie muttered, as if she were in a trance, lost in her own memories and thoughts. Jade furrowed her brows, not loosening her grip on Perrie's shirt.

"What did you say?"

"You," Perrie muttered. "Stars in your eyes."

Jade pulled away, disconcerted and nonplussed. It wasn't what she'd expected Perrie to say. She'd expected Perrie to tear her down, push her away, slap her even, but not....this nonsense she was blurting. Suspicious, she took her hands off Perrie's collar, and Perrie immediately winced, massaging the bruised area. "What the fuck are you saying? If you're trying to call me a bitch, at least say it outright and not in riddles."

Perrie just blinked. Once, twice. Cocked her head as if seeing Jade in a new perspective, making Jade self conscious of the light layer of makeup she'd put on this morning that didn't really cover the freckle on her cheek or the small pimple that had popped out on her chin. She opened her mouth. "How d-do you know you've moved on?"

Caught off guard again, Jade eyed the other girl warily, but seeing the vulnerable look in the other girl's eyes - Jade realised that she'd been hurt before, she just hadn't realised it. And maybe, just maybe, she'd been the one that hurt Perrie, like Perrie hurt her now. Lost in thought, Jade raised her eyes and met Perrie's. "Maybe it's when you feel more in love with your memories than the actual person."

Eyes locked in a silent dare, fists clenched. Jade daring Perrie to say the words that would break both of them forever, all of the happy memories - they would be just memories. They would never be able to relive them, simply because Jade was in too deep - she could never back out now. It was either now or never, and Jade held her breath, waiting for Perrie to say the dreaded words. I'm over you.

Silence. Perrie biting down hard on her lip, Jade glaring at her, fighting tears.

The blonde shook her head, defeated, eyes cast down. "I'm not over you. Probably never will be."

"That's what I- Wait what," Jade stumbled on her own words, confused. This rarely happened, and despite the seriousness of the situation, a small smile crept onto Perrie's lips at the thought of her, often a mumbling idiot, making Jade, the person who never ran out of words to say, speechless? That wasn't something that happened often, but Perrie quickly wiped the smile off her face when Jade looked up at her once again.

"You're not kidding me? You're not messing around?" Jade's eyes were so big and watery and so vulnerable, it made Perrie's heart squeeze tighter in her chest. The grey-haired girl absentmindedly scratched at the sleeve of her long sleeved shirt.

"No, I'm not," Perrie said firmly, then hesitated. "My thoughts and emotions are just so confusing right now and I don't know what to think. At all."

Jade just bit down on her lip and looked up at Perrie. "Maybe, sometimes you don't have to think, sometimes you just have to feel."

As if reading her mind, Perrie pushed herself off the wall slowly, wrapping her pale arms around Jade's torso. Jade shivered as the blonde's lips ghosted over her own, not quite making contact. "Is this what you want me to do?"

Yes. "No."

"Why?"

Because you might not be over him. And I don't know if I can stand you loving two people at the same time. "Because you're with Zayn and I don't want you to cheat on him."

Perrie's eyes darkened, and she released Jade. Stepped backwards until they were a good meter away from each other. "Really? You're bringing him in this, now?"

"Yes." Jade glared back at the blonde. "It's either me or him."

"Even though you made me 'cheat' on him in the first place."

"I was drunk." Jade voice wavered. "Or are you telling me that you want both of us, because if you do, I can't do this."

This time it was Perrie who faltered. "I...I didn't mean that. But, I did tell you that things are a bit too confusing for me right this moment and I-"

"That doesn't mean you can kiss me if you don't even know what you're doing," Jade snapped out, frustrated as she dug her fingernails into her palms.

The flame of anger ignited within Perrie once again. "Look who's talking."

"If you can't make a decision, it's over," Jade hissed. "You've hurt me enough. Stop leading me on." With Perrie watching, the grey-haired girl walked out of the restroom, slamming the door behind her so hard that the hinges rattled. Perrie sighed out and glared at her own reflection in the mirror.

You and your big mouth. Stupid.

The blonde reapplied her makeup, making sure that her clothing was immaculate, and stepped out of the bathroom like nothing had happened.

....

NEW SCANDAL: ZAYN MALIK CHEATING ON GIGI HADID?

This isn't the first time Zayn Malik has been accused of cheating! Back in 2015 he was pictured getting a bit too close with another girl in Thailand, thus rocking him and Perrie Edwards' relationship, and it seems like his habits are catching up to him. Cheating allegations have surfaced online just a few weeks before the official release of his debut album, Mind of Mine.....

Perrie clicked into the video, fighting back her tears. When Jesy had rushed into her room and told her about the news, Perrie had immediately sagged back against the couch. It was bad enough that Jade had walked out on her, and Zayn was cheating on both Gigi and Perrie, and Perrie was quite positive that she had feelings for both Zayn and Jade at the same time - but this? Perrie didn't know if she could handle any more heartbreak and confusion. The man in the video was clearly Zayn - Perrie could tell by his exotic features and the tattoos on his arms, and he was right on top of another blonde in the corner of a club. As she took in another deep breath, she wasn't actually surprised to find tears rushing down her face.

And she thought about Jade and her vulnerable brown eyes, about all of the memories they'd shared together. Then back to Zayn and everything they'd went through. No matter what, she knew that she had to let go of one of them. But who would it be?

Perrie was accustomed to Zayn's unpredictable actions, to each and every fiery kiss they shared, to each cheating allegation he'd gone through, but with Jade, everything was new. And Perrie knew she was afraid for something new. She was afraid of taking risks, of taking chances. What if she couldn't go back? What if Jade changed her mind? What if she didn't want Perrie anymore, not like Perrie wanted her at least?

Perrie closed the tab, breathing heavily. It was only a few days till the Get Weird tour started. Would she have the ability handle all of the drama?

And she made her decision.

Swiftly, she stood up and called JC. "I'm going to America."

Silence on the other line; Perrie held her breath. It was only a matter of time before JC started screaming at her. "I promise I'll be back a day before the tour starts. Please."

She could practically hear the words that were going to come out of JC's lips: Perrie, what the hell are you thinking? You are going on a huge arse tour so don't you dare-

"Be sure you're fully rested up," JC said on the other line, almost gently.

Perrie almost dropped the phone, rendered speechless. "T-Thank you," she gushed out into the phone and ended the call.

This was it. She had to end this toxic relationship, for both her and Zayn's sake. She wasn't good enough for him and he deserved someone better. But at the same time, Perrie deserved someone better, too, and that someone was Jade. 

1. MinD OF MInE iS OuT aND it iS LiT 

2. JERRIE IS RISING but tf happened with jade's leg lol... someone enlighten me 

Question: Would you guys prefer having more frequent updates that have like 1K-1.5K words, or less frequent ones with 2K-3K words?