Enigma || jerrie ✔︎

part 41 - revealed

 I MADE NEW COVERS FOR ALL OF MY BOOKS (which are like, two, but still lol) AND IT TOOK ME SO LONG :)))))))) IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE STILL SHIT LOL 

Final session before the official Brits rehearsal - Jade was shitting herself as she paced back and forth in front of her closet. She could call in sick and avoid Perrie (who was ignoring her calls, obviously), but then she and the girls needed as much time to practice as possible. They couldn't screw this up.

If we fuck up it'll all be my fault and everybody will hate me, Jade thought in self-loathing as she peeked at the cuts under her shirt. They were healing pretty well but they still itched, but a swipe of concealer would easily cover them.

Jade decided she was just going to grit her teeth, get the stupid rehearsal over with, and get home as soon as possible for a movie night by herself.

She called a taxi and arrived at the rehearsal studio a little after twenty minutes later, feeling anticipation build up in her as she stepped through the door.

"Jade! What's up with you, babe? You're late," Leigh noted.

Jade felt anger spike through her like an angry tide. She couldn't help it. "What, I'm not allowed to be late now? Oh, I'm fucking sorry, I should've been here by 10:00 which was six minutes ago."

"Woah, woah," Leigh said, holding up her hands, grimacing. "I was just...concerned, that's all."

"That's a weird way to show that, isn't it," Jade said halfheartedly and headed into the adjoining room, nodding her head absentmindedly to the beat of Black Magic. Leigh-Anne grimaced again and followed her.

Jade braced herself for the sight of a cold-eyed Perrie, but she wasn't there. Instead she saw Jesy drinking from a bottle of ice water, looking exhausted without makeup on her face, and their choreographer who was scribbling something on a notepad. We're already fucking practicing with sticks and kneepads, what else do they want us to do, Jade thought irritably and irrationally.

At the sound of Jade's footsteps, Jesy turned her head and put down the Evian. "Where's Perrie?"

"How should I know," Jade muttered petulantly and skulked into the corner where she threw down her bag and slumped against the wall, starting to scroll through Twitter on her phone. She doesn't care about me anyways.

"What's with the mood?" Jesy, as nosy as ever, slid down the wall next to Jade and placed a hand on Jade's thigh. "Are you okay?" Her hazel eyes were full of sympathy and Jade was slightly...surprised at how...warm her gaze was. Like there was this possibility that she could open up to Jesy even more somehow.

"Nothing," Jade mumbled. She wished she had the courage to talk to anyone about what had happened but it was like there was a dam in her throat, blocking all of her inner thoughts from coming out honestly. She hated it when those voices whispered in her ears saying she was ugly and fat and there was no need for her to live anymore because Perrie didn't need her anyway.

She loathed herself and the only person that could change that was Perrie.

"Jade, you wanna go for dinner down at the-" Leigh was about to join Jade and Jesy on the floor before the door opened and Perrie walked in, fashionably late as always. Her gaze swept across the room before settling on Jade.

Just as Jade feared. Her stare was cold. Indifferent. Serious. Determined?

Jade wasn't even sure if Perrie still remembered what happened. The blonde strode to the other side of the room and plopped on the chair, staring fixedly at her shoes while not looking at anyone. Leigh and Jesy turned around in unison and fixed Jade with their WTF look which had been coming up pretty often lately.