Break The Cycle

Chapter 22:

Emma POV:

Meeting Liam wasn't as emotionally difficult as I thought it would be. I sat in a booth at Granny's and waited for him to show. When he did he immediately saw me and walked over.

"What's this about?" I asked. "Other than me wanting to know where Killian wants to go to therapy."

"Well, of course it's him I want to talk to you about." He started. "He's a wreck, Emma. I was so pissed at him when I first found out what he did, I punched him. I told him to grow up and figure this out on his own. He's doing it, but he's torn apart over you."

I kept my face emotionally blank. If these two were lying, I couldn't show any hope.

"I don't expect you to just forgive him right away, that would be stupid. Just, give him a chance to show you how much progress he's made. Here's the address for his therapist." He passed me a business card that I tucked into my pocket.

"How do I know if she'll even talk to me?" I asked him.

"Because Killian gave her the names of two people that she can share his information with, me and you." He explained.

"Why?" I asked.

Liam laughed a little. "Well, I guess he knows you well enough to predict that one day, you might go prying around. You two are so in sync."

The rest of the lunch hour we talked about Killian and his life lately. Apparently he'd been simply going through the motions. I had he slightest hint of hope that this could work out, but I didn't let it get too far.

As soon as five hit, I hurried to the therapist's office. Regina picked Henry up after school every day now, and he stayed with her and Roland until I picked him up. I texted her earlier to let her know I would be a little late today.

The office was easy to find. I walked in, hoping that she wouldn't have a patient. Thankfully, she was on her own.

"Hello? Trinity Hayworth?" I called her name.

"Yes. Can I help you?" She turned to me.

"I'm here about Killian Jones." I said.

She pulled a file from a drawer and asked for my name.

"Emma Swan." I stated.

Her head snapped up. "Emma? Well after hearing so much about you, it is a pleasure to meet you." She shook my hand.

"Nice to meet you too. So he is seeing you."

"Yes. He's been here twice a week for a few months. Naturally, he's seeking help for what happened between the two of you." She informed me.

"Can you elaborate?" I asked.

"Of course, he's approved you as someone who I can discuss his sessions with. Have a seat." She gestured to a couch as she sat in a chair.

"Killian is not acting unusual for someone who grew up in his situation." She started. "He's angry about his father, and his past girlfriend who did him wrong. He wanted to know why his brother didn't act this way, and I told him it was probably because Liam has let go of the anger about the past, whereas Killian has held onto it. My suspicions were confirmed when Liam joined us for a session. As a result, these frustrations show when he is angry or hurt about something. We've been working on him getting out his feelings about the past and learning to let go of it, so he can move on to a happier life. He seems to be doing well. But he refuses to take one step. I told him he needs to face his fears with you."

"Me? Why is he afraid of me?" I asked.

"Well, he's afraid you will turn him away. I advised him to talk to you to gain closure and get out what he has to say. He's been let down so many times before that he doesn't want to risk it with you, too."

"He has come to see me. He showed up one night, talked to me, and left."

"Did you say anything to him?"

I shook my head. "Only to ask what he wanted."

"It's good that he took the opportunity to say what he felt. Miss Swan, I have to say, in my professional opinion, Killian harbors deep regret and sorrow for what he has done. He talked about not wanting to follow in his father's footsteps, and being crushed when he realized his brother was disappointed in him. Liam is an important male figure in his life, sort of a role model."

I sat and thought for a moment. Then she spoke again.

"Miss Swan, by no means am I telling you what action to take when it comes to your relationship with Killian, romantically. But in order to really know what needs to happen here, you both need to talk. Find neutral ground and sit together. I won't tell him you were here, that's up to you."

I left there with what felt like a rock in my gut. For the rest of the day, I pondered over whether or not to talk to Killian. Just before going to bed, I unblocked his number. It was one step forward for me.

Killian POV:

Every day I resisted the urge to drive past Emma's house on my way home. I knew it would do no good to have her recognize my car and get upset with me. I'd done enough.

Instead I went about my daily routine. Wake up, shower, eat breakfast, work, come home. It was lonely, aside from Liam and his girlfriend, Elsa. I missed Emma, she brought so much life into my world. And no matter how I tried I could not move on from her.

I would go out and try to have a little fun, women would take notice of me, but I would always find myself comparing them to Emma. I was tormenting myself.

Every so often, I would try to call her phone, just to see if maybe it would work. It never did, the automated message would tell me it was out of service.

Until one night, I laid in bed at midnight. Like I had done a couple of weeks before, I dialed. I didn't expect anything, but someone picked up.

"Hello?" They answered. I sat straight up, it was Emma. I couldn't firm words in my mouth.

"Say something Killian. You called me for a reason." That knocked me out of my trance, it was definitely Emma.

"Swan." I said. "Why did you pick up?"

"Because I have something to say."

Here it comes, the tongue lashing I'd been deserving for months.

"We're going to meet in a public place. I'm going to take the afternoon off from work tomorrow, and we're going to talk." She said in a stern tone.

That wasn't what I expected.

"Okay, how about in the cafe tomorrow?" I suggested. She knew what I meant, it was the place where I first noticed her.

"Fine. Two o'clock." She confirmed and then hung up.