For As Long As I Exist

chapter 22

authors note. please read.
ok so I know that in the twilight saga, Stephanie Meyer says that vampires cannot cry or show much emotion, but it's hard to write about how Carlisle feels , when he doesn't have actual feelings. so in this fanfic, the vampires can cry and feel emotions and stuff.

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Carlisle's point of view

  what does she mean she doesn't love me anymore ? everything I do is wrong.  I'm supposed to make Katie happy and never make her sad. I failed her. 

the minute Katie told me to leave, I obeyed and went straight back to my home. I didn't know what to think or say. I walked angrily into the living room and sat down. Edward walked in moments later.

I cleared my head and blocked my thoughts so Edward couldn't find out what had happened.

"everything okay Carlisle?" Edward asked , walking over to me.

I just nodded my head yes. I was so fired up to speak actual words

"how's Katie? is she walking yet?" he changed the subject.

the minute he mentioned Katies name, I got up quickly from the couch and left the room. I walked into my office and shut the door, locking it behind me. 

I walked over to my desk and slammed my fist on the top of it. I didn't know what to do. I lost the only girl who was important to me.

I swiped my hands across the desktop, causing all my paperwork to fall on the ground.

something then surprised me. a small splash of water hit one of my books. I reached my hand up to my eye and felt more water.
     I was crying. I haven't cried for so long, I can't even remember. this proved how much Katie means to me.
I was shaking because of how upset u was.

there's no way that she doesn't want us together no more. it can't be possible.

I walked around the room, trying to calm myself down a bit. it was no use. everywhere I looked, I thought of Katie.
I punched my bookshelf , knocking a bunch of books of the rack and onto the floor.

another tear hit the floor.

I kicked some of the books, making them fly across the room. I walked over towards my window overlooking the woods with my fists clenched.

just as I was about to punch or break something else, I was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Carlisle?" I heard Alice say.

I walked over to the door and unlocked it, then opening the door. I took a deep breathe and tried my best to sound normal.

"yes?" I said quickly.

"are you okay? we heard a bunch of noise in here" Alice spoke, trying to look at the room behind me.

"yes I am fine. I just dropped a book." I lied.

I stepped out a little farther and tried to close the door so they couldn't see my mess.

"are you sure? I can kindve hear your thoughts going crazy Carlisle" Edward said, stepping forward.

I nodded my head. before I could say anything else, my two children pushed me to the side and swung the office door open.

"you just dropped a book huh?" Alice said, looking back at me.

I rubbed the back of my neck and turned around, walking into the living room.

"Carlisle. something is wrong. tell us" Alice came over and sat by my side.

"it's nothing" I replied, biting my lip to stop myself from crying again.

there was a silence in the room. the two just stood there, staring at me.

I sighed "Katie and i broke up. she told me to leave her alone and that she doesn't love me no more."

Alice gasped and Edward just remained silent.

"what happened? why would she say such a thing ? " Alice questioned.

I sat there for a second, reliving what happened with Katie and I.

"I tried helping her stand up and walk but she didn't want to. she said I ruined her life." I looked down at my hands.

it was no use in trying to not be upset. I let the tears come, as they splashed onto my hands.

Alice and Edward didn't know what to do. they just stood there , until Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett walked through the doorway.

"what's wrong Carlisle?" Rosalie asked? coming over to me.

"Katie broke up with him" Alice answered the question for me.

I heard Rosalie sigh.

"I knew that girl was no good. all she does is ruin things. we had everything under control until she came here" Rosalie said.

"hey. don't talk about her that way. she is the best thing that has ever happened to me" I turned towards Rosalie.

she rolled her eyes.

I instantly stood up and left the room. I didn't need any more negativity at this moment.

//

I thought about all the things Katie said to me. the thing that stuck out the most was when she told me to go find someone else.

of course I won't ever love another girl again, but it's best to do what she asks. I need to go on some dates.