Teenage Dream {HongIce}

Chapter Nineteen

For the painful remainder of class, Emil remained completely silent with a persistent scowl plastered on his face. He didn't dare utter a word, fearing that he could easily embarrass himself. He hated that he was so self conscious about everything, deeming it to be one of his worst qualities. What was he getting Leon into with all of his ridiculous shenanigans? At the current moment, he just felt sorry for Leon.

Emil shot out of his seat the second the bell rang, retreating to his locker and shoving his books inside with Leon following closely behind. He unlocked Leon's locker, knowing that he would take far too long to do it himself and slammed it shut once Leon's books were inside.

"We'll go sit behind the gym," Emil muttered, speed walking down the corridor, weaving his way between students that didn't see him or refused to step out of the way.

Going to talk behind the gym did seem a little shady to Leon in all honesty, even if Emil wasn't a drug dealer or a big kid that would drag you off to get beaten up. Leon followed silently, not wanting to say anything in case he set Emil off seeming that he definitely was not in a good position right now. Once they had reached their destination, Emil let himself fall back against the wall and hopelessly slide down to sit with his head in his knees.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't want this to happen, Leon, I'm so sorry," Emil mumbled frantically, the words pouring out from his heart. He seemed upset, possibly on the verge of a breakdown and this worried Leon to the point where he felt sick. He immediately knelt down beside Emil, gripping his arm tightly in an attempt to stop his rambling.

"Hey, hey, hey, Em," he hushed in the softest voice Emil had ever heard. "Calm down, just talk to me so I can understand."

"I'm sorry, I freaked out and I got scared. It's not that I didn't want to hold your hand because I really did, it was just that people were staring and it made me freak because I hate it when people stare at me," Emil explained without taking a breath. His throat was clenching to the point where it was painful to speak he didn't dare look up at Leon because he felt so ashamed.

"Em, look at me," Leon instructed gently. Emil refused. "Emil, I'm not going to bite you," he said with a slight laugh, trying to show that he was not, in any way, angry. Emil turned his head to the side letting his hair fall across his face, obscuring his cold lilac eyes from Leon's view. He carefully brushed the hair out of Emil's face and rested a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings," Emil apologised, letting his eyes wander toward the ground.

"Let's just talk it out, alright?" Leon suggested. "So you wanna be a closet gay?" he asked light heartedly with a soft smile curling the edges of his mouth.

"Just until I settle in," Emil whispered, the shame didn't relent one bit. He hoped that once he had told Leon, he would be okay with himself being the way he was, but having other people not being okay with who he was made everything worse. He should be okay with who he is, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Alright, well we'll leave it there. Most of the people I've dated were out, so it was a bit easier. But this just goes to show that you've got to work hard for the things you want," Leon said gently, sitting himself down next to Emil, who shifted his head to rest it on Leon's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Emil apologised again.

"Stop apologising you little Canadian," Leon joked, earning a small scowl.

"We can't tell Lukas, he'd never let you come over again," Emil warned.

"I'll make you a deal," Leon smirked biting his lip. "I don't tell Lukas, you let me hold your hand at school."