Live and Learn (Short Stories)

Pollen

     I hated pollen. Whenever I felt upset, I'd wander outside and the pollen always made my eyes water. It didn't help, having a field of roses and dandelions just outside of my house. The pollen could almost be seen, drifting through the wind. But, it was the only place I could go. It was the only place that smelled fresh and held magnificent beauty. I wish flowers didn't have pollen, for the pollen makes my eyes itch, made them fill with liquid that tasted like salt.

     No matter how much I complained about the pollen, I always found myself standing amongst the bright yellow flowers and the bloody red roses. I looked behind me, tracing my steps. I had taken a different route today without realizing it. I had headed through the woods that smelled of pine, sap, and dirt. The forest was dark and the tree's were old. I had also trampled the flowers on my way to the stump I was now sitting on.

     Those poor flowers, in no way did they deserve to be treated like that. It was my own fault, for walking without thinking. With that thought in mind, was it really my fault? I wasn't the one who started to scream insults. I wasn't the one who threw things. I wasn't the one who wished the other would die. So, if I thought about it like that, wouldn't it be his fault? He said those things and he broke my heart. He tore me limb from limb; tore my heart right out of my chest. He stomped on my feelings, spat on my beliefs and insulted my whole being.

I pulled my knee's to my chest and cradled them. Only I could treat myself so kindly. No one else would ever think to. My lip quivers disobediently and my face presses tightly against my knee caps. Why should someone care for a girl like me? I had no family, no significance in my life or everyone else's, so why would they care? All I had was him, and he had everyone else. The wind rustled the trees of the woods and the flowers tickled my ankles, bringing me comfort only they could. The woods howled eerily from the wind, insulting my weakness.

     I ignored them because I knew they were right. I'd rather pay attention to the rose petals flittering through the air. If only I could see them. I couldn't look, though, I couldn't watch them sing my favorite lullaby. I sat back up, my eyes closed. I brought a half closed fist to my face, rubbing my eyes. I had no reason to watch the flowers sway. All I heard was the cursing of the tree's that didn't believe in me. It was so loud that I couldn't think straight.

     All I could think was that, I didn't believe in me too.