Spellbinders: Daughter of Light

Longing

Callum

Perhaps it's because her body's so tired and worn, or maybe it's because she hasn't slept very much at all, but after a few minutes of sobbing quietly, I manage to lull her back to sleep. I'm worried for her. The no eating, no sleeping thing is a big concern. She's wasting away, that much is clear. I need to get her out of here. Away from him, away from all the fear. I need to get her memories back.

This might sound selfish of me, but I hate having her talk to me and she sounds exactly the same, but she isn't. She doesn't remember the first time we met, nor does she remember all she did for me. I don't know if she knows this, but I still see the Ella I once knew. She's just quieter, gentler, and a lot more open about how she feels. But apart from that, she's not much more different. She still doesn't think she's brave, even when she is. She's brave because she still manages to live in this hell hole everyday with the ghost of her past taunting her, waving it in her face that she doesn't know who she is. I know lots of people who would've just ended it all a very long time ago.

Picking her up in my arms, I gently place her back down on the bed. It's the softest place in the room, even if it's where he torments her. Pulling the covers of her, I run my fingers through her black hair, hoping that it soothes whatever nightmarish place she might be in. That's the other thing that hasn't changed; she still refuses to tell me what she dreams about. Perhaps she doesn't think that I want to know. Maybe it has something to do with the places Arran takes her, and she won't tell me where they go, or what he makes her do. All I know is that she comes back in tears every time.

I wish I could make her smile again. Just to hear her laugh again... I would give anything. Anything at all. I haven't told her that she's my Match yet. I tried, but she didn't understand. Without her memories, she doesn't know what a Match is, and I didn't have the heart to tell her.

"Callum?"

I look up, finding her wide green eyes focused on me. They are beautiful emerald, but instead of a perfect reflection, I see fear. So much fear. Where was she, just then? Where does she go when she drifts off?

"Yes?" I whisper, unable to trust myself to say much more. The sight before me is heartbreaking, and I can't look away. Beautifully tragic. Those are the words she would've used to describe it.

"I'm sorry."

Those two words make me consider her more carefully. Her eyes become glassy and wet with tears. I wipe one away, but she refuses to look at me.

"What are you sorry for?" I ask her gently, trying to smile. Her eyes are downcast as she observes the sheets, almost as if they're the most interesting thing in Celestia. "Ella, what's wrong?" I ask her, moving closer. She doesn't flinch or move away at all. She just stares ahead, at some far away place that transcends this world.

"I'm sorry that you came to save me. I can't remember what I was to you before, but this must be torture. I must be painful to be around," she whispers. Why do I get a sense of deja vu? And then I remember. The library. I'd only known her for three days. I told her I could sense people's pain, and she apologised.

'I'm so, so, so sorry,' she'd said.

' Because I've got a lot of emotional baggage, and I dumped it all on you!' was her reply when I'd asked her why.

"Sweetheart, you've always been painful to be around, but in the best of ways," I explain with a real, genuine smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. This catches her attention as she turns around to look at me.

"Really?" she asks. I nod. "How?"

I laugh a little, feeling almost nostalgic. Those were the days. The days where she made me laugh and smile, when she brought me out of my own grief.

"Well, you see, I can actually sense people's pain. It's my 'gift'. You always carried around this weight on your shoulders, but I never knew why. One day you told me, and that was when I..." I gulp down my tears. I'm not sure why I would cry. Happiness? Sadness? Longing? Aren't they all the same thing. Happy memories can just as easily make people sad because of the yearning deep within. That's how I feel now.

"You...?"

"It was then that I started to realise how much I cared about you," I murmur quietly. Her eyes widen with shock. Gently, ever so gently, she takes my hand in hers.

"I may only have a whole month's worth of memories but in them, you were the best thing that ever happened to me," she says. She almost smiles when she says it. I feel as though my heart might burst with the happiness it contains. I'm surprised it hasn't jumped right out of my chest. This joy, this euphoria, is something I've been waiting for ever since I set out to find her.

I can't stop myself when I lean forward and place a sweet, little kiss on her cheek. I hear her gasp, not unlike the first time I kissed her. Gradually, my eyes find her lips. She notices, but instead of pushing me away, she leans in. Surprised and ecstatic, I slowly press my lips against hers.

***

"I love you, but you already knew that, right?" I ask her after much kissing. Smiling, and I mean, really smiling, she nods. I made her happy. I made her smile again.

I feel like a balloon, or maybe a light bulb, and I'm swelling with joy and love, but also glowing. Nothing can dampen my glow, not even this dark place, not even Arran himself. And perhaps that's how I thought of this wonderful, ludicrous plan.

"We're going to run away Ella," I whisper into her neck. Ella stops for a moment and looks at me.

"Really?" she breathes.

"Yes. I'm going to take you back home, and I'm going to keep you warm and safe for all eternity."

And I'm going to get your memories back, I silently promise. Ella's eyes light up with wonder. the beautiful green light that I love so much about them was back. She looked alive again, like the Ella I once knew.

"Where do we start?"