Tevun-Krus #27 - FanFic SF

An Interview with the Doctor (#10) by @elveloy and @krazydiamond

K: Welcome folks, today we have a very special guest who has traveled a long, long way to be here. Ladies and gents, let's have a big welcome for the Doctor. Oh, oh, my, E you didn't say it would be number 10!

Doctor: What was that?

(K claps hands over her mouth muttering 'spoilers'.)

E (beaming fatuously at Doctor): I can't tell you how much I've been looking forward to this, Doctor. (Glances at cards) Er... due to your special circumstances we've had to modify some of our standard interview questions, but let's start with an easy one.

E : If you had to describe yourself in one word, what words wouldn't you use?

Doctor: (looking puzzled) Actually this is hard... so many incarnations you know. (chuckles suddenly) I know! "Nice," I've never been "nice."

E (laughs nervously) : Haha. (reads quickly from card): As the Tardis plummets toward the core of the nearest star, what are the three pieces of music most likely to be pouring from the Console?

Doctor: Rock around the Clock, by Bill Halley (whispers an aside) They named a comet after him. Did you know? Time by Pink Floyd, and my favourite, Time Warp.

E: I see a bit of a theme there. (smiles weakly and nudges K.) Over to you!

K(looks at cards): Not sure we should ask this one. It could incite a riot. Any others? No? Maybe? (shrugs) So Doctor, who would you say is your favorite companion in recent years?

Doctor: I can't answer that. Who comes up with these questions? All of my companions have fantastic qualities that drew me to them.

K: But surely you have a favorite, perhaps a (cough) love that dare not speak its name?

(The Doctor cocks an eyebrow. He is clearly unimpressed with this line of questioning.)

K: We are trying to provide a little fan service here, Doctor. I didn't pluck these questions out of thin air. Oh! Come here, I have an idea.

Doctor: Should....should you be guiding the answers like this?

K: I could keep pursing the question instead. Would you say Rose is your favorite, then, as you had a romantic subplot with her or perhaps Donna for the exact opposite?

Doctor: What was your idea?

(K leans in and whispers a few lines in the Doctor's ear.)

Doctor: That's a fantastic idea. Ah, yes, the Tardis itself is my favorite companion.

(K nods, satisfied fan service has been rendered.)

K: Take the floor E!

E: Apart from time travel, what hobbies do you have?

Doctor: Hobbies? Who has time for hobbies when you're constantly saving the universe?

E (hesitantly): But I thought you liked cricket...

Doctor : Not really.

E: But— (drops the cards and bends hastily to pick them up)

K steps in quickly to salvage the interview: If you were one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, who would you be and why?

(The Doctor falls silent, shifting uncomfortably. After several awkward minutes of silence he answers.)

Doctor: Death.

(He is quite confident in his answer, as if he speaks from experience. K shakes off a chill.)

K: And, um, why is that?

Doctor: It certainly follows me, no matter where I go.

E (sits up, cards in hand): Now here's one everyone is dying to know the answer to—

Which was your favourite episode? (winces as K elbows ribs) I mean adventure, your favourite adventure.

Doctor : I quite liked The Day of the Doctor, although a lot of people didn't. (sighs wistfully) There were three of me in that one - I don't often get to talk to people who really understand me... and the cake was lovely.

K: Ack, my turn. Um....ah, I got one. (Tosses cards over shoulder.) You should know Doctor, I am a rather big creature feature fan. What is your favorite monster you've come up against?

(Doctor ponders over the question.)

Doctor: Well, who is your favorite monster?

K: Oh, that's easy. The weeping angels. First monster who ever scared the tar out of me. Followed closely by the Vashta Nerada, those microscopic beasties from The Library of Silence that doubled your shadow before they gobbled you up. Both are such delightfully frightening creations. Wait a second, who is asking the questions here!

Doctor: Oh, yes! Well, I think the answer is fairly obvious.

(K squints at him.)

K: You are rather slippery with the answers here Doctor... Doctor? (gasps and shrinks back, clutching E.)

Doctor (whips out sonic screwdriver, chuckling evilly): Exterminate! Exterminate!