Heronstairs: A Fluff Collection

The Eggplant Incident

"I'm going to remind you of that when you have a hangover."

"What hangover?"

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The sun shone into their room through the thin curtains, and Will moaned like a dying man. "Oh," he said, burying his face in a pillow, "This hangover."

Jem was sitting beside him in bed, scribbling quick notes in the margins of a piece of music. "Still think it's a problem for future Will?"

"I know, I know," Will said, not lifting his face from the pillow. "Past me was a dumbass, present me is suffering, but future me could feel so much better if his beautiful, lovely, sweet, caring, considerate-"

"Get to the point."

"-slightly irritated boyfriend would go and get him two Advil and a coffee."

"You're the actual worst," Jem said fondly, pressing a kiss to the back of Will's neck.

Will sighed into the pillow. "Low blow, James. Don't start something you can't finish."

"I'm not the one who can practically see noises at this point," Jem said with a laugh, standing up. "I'll be right back."

"If I didn't think it would make me violently ill I would kiss you right now," Will said gratefully.

"I'll pass until I'm sure you won't vomit on me, thanks."

"I thought you loved me."

"There's only so much closeness a relationship can stand, William."

"No philosophicalness before coffee," Will complained loudly into the pillow, moaning in pain at the sound of his own voice.

Jem rolled his eyes and went to their kitchen, taking care to be as quiet as possible. When he returned, he sank onto the bed and ran a hand through Will's hair.

"You need a haircut," he said fondly, passing the mug and the pills over at Will's noncommittal grunt.

Will swallowed the pills and gratefully took the coffee in hand, sitting up and inhaling deeply.

"God bless your heart, James," he said, sighing. "What would I do without you?"

"Choke on your own vomit, I think," Jem said, looking back at the music he'd been marking.

Will laughed, then winced. "Ow. Stop being clever."

"You can't turn wit on and off like a switch, William," Jem said absently, considering opening the curtains.

"Make an effort," Will said, sipping his coffee. "And don't even think about it."

"Think about what?"

"Opening the damn curtains. Your hair is too bright for me right now, if there's more sunlight I'll just die."

"Drama queen," Jem said fondly, leaning over to kiss Will's cheek.

"Hush. I am in pain."

"Self-inflicted pain, might I point out."

"Show me where I asked for that sass."

The room fell into a comfortable silence, only occasionally broken by the sound of Will sipping coffee or of Jem's pen scratching against his music. At some point, Will had reached over and taken Jem's free hand. His hand was strong and warm from the mug. Jem squeezed it gently and let the heat seep into his own hand.

"I love you," Will said quietly.

Jem smiled. "I love you, too."

"Please never let me drink again."

Laughing, Jem set his music on the bedside table. "Like I could stop you."

Will rolled his eyes. "Point. At least keep me out of the kitchen."

"You're a hazard in the kitchen sober," Jem teased. "Drunk was hardly any different."

Will snorted a laugh, looking up at the ceiling. A thought occurred to Jem.

"Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Where did you get an eggplant?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Will mumbled.

"Did it have anything to do with that sign in the grocery store window last night-"

"I don't," Will repeated, flushing across his cheeks, "want to talk about it."

A/N: Guess who's back!! Me, featuring writer's block and no time management. Hope you've all been well!! School's wild right now and my boyfriend broke up with me like two and a half weeks ago so I'm great lol. I have a big chapter in the works right now, so this is just a little slice of fluff to tide you over.

Idea for this came from Lindsay when I texted her asking for an idea and she replied with "I dare you to use 'Why in God's name is there an eggplant in my shoe?'" Voila! I have done it.

Thanks for reading, as always. The boys and I will see you at the next chapter!! 💙