Dirty One Direction One Shots

Secrets ~Louis imagine~ NO LONGER EDITING

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"Love, what are you doing back this late?" Zayn's comforting voice mumbled as we lied in bed together. I thought of lying, but I spoke the truth.

"I was with Louis" I whispered.

"What?" he sat right up and looked more hurt than angry, my face fell, only to offer a sad smile after.

"Louis and I have been meeting in secret, we've been going out together" I whispered, distancing myself from him. His face fell and he looked so hurt it was painful to see. Zayn's tired face looked like one of a sad puppy dog, like he'd been betrayed and lied to about going out to a park. His brows furrowed before asking me a question, the look of both hurt and uncertainty washed over his face just before.

"You two have been meeting....do you make love to him like you do me?" he seemed so hurt asking, his question was asked with a weary voice and the pain laced in it made my heart sting. I began shaking my head quickly.

"No, no, no, Zayn we don't do that. We've never slept in the same bed. You were my first and you're still the only one" I my weak voice spoke, wanting so badly to hold him and touch his face, calm him down and make those wrinkles in between his brows disappear, but I couldn't. He was hurt and I'd only cause more pain by touching him. A wide eyed look of fear washed over him, his usually bright honey brown eyes seemed dull as he stared at me in worry.

"A-Are you here to call off the wedding?" he asked yet another painful question.

"No...I still want my forever with you" I sobbed hopelessly.

"I just can't live with lying to you. We've kissed, that's all. We've only kissed" I admitted.

"I'm sorry. I-I don't know what else to say" I mumbled. Zayn was quiet, his brows furrowed in concentration, pondering over something.

"Go, be with him" His voice sounded so weak and pained.

"what?" I sobbed, my body shaking and falling to the floor in a panic. I was having a panic attack at the worst of times, my heart was beating in my throat , thoughts rushing through my head and as I looked to the floor I felt the warm embrace of Zayn's body. The shaky breaths I was taking were calming down and I fell back into his body, sobbing quietly in his arms and feeling the warm tears of his fall to my own skin.

"I don't want to keep you here if you want Louis. I'll respect your decision" He whispered in a raspy voice. He was warm and held me tight, almost like he was begging me to stay, like he some how felt like I'd leave.

"I chose you, my forever is with you, Zayn every moment I spent with Louis was spent thinking of you and how much I knew it would hurt you to find out about it. You want me forever and I want to be your forever" I whispered to him as he held me close. My cheek was pressed to his chest, listening to his steady heart beat is what always calmed my panic attacks.

"I'll let you go if I have to, don't worry about hurting me" he whispered softly caressing my hair. I smiled into his chest and shook my head.

"I made my choice six months ago when I said 'yes'"

"If there's one thing I know it's you. I know when you love, you can't stop. Ride it out, go with him for as long as you want. For both of us"

"Zayn I'm yours. I always will be, you need to know that"

"I do love, believe me. I know I'll always have you in my heart" he whispered, warm tears were shared in the kiss between us and it was like falling all over again. We discovered each other's bodies like it was my first time. Zayn knew he was my first only after taking my virginity. I was so terrified of telling him before. His body was warm and his heart beat against my chest.